Darchelle > Recent Status Updates

“I can’t remember now how long I waited for her to return, but I know that somewhere along the way, in the pool of a thousand tears, she became my Mother, and then, finally, Nora. My mom was gone. I accepted the fact that whatever she wanted out of life, it wasn’t me.”

“In some distant part of her mind, she knew that she was sinking into a pool of self-pity, and that she could drown in it, but she didn’t know how to crawl out.”

“We’re not allowed to die for our children. The universe won’t let us. Because then there wouldn’t be any mothers left.”

“Something broke between us, but in a good way. Or maybe… maube something broke within us something that needed to break.”

“As long as I was coloring, I didn’t think about anything else.”

“The first step to changing your life is taking responsibility for the fat that your life isn’t working.”

“There are certain people who are meant to be in your life for a season. There are people who are meant to be in your life for a specific reason. There are people who will be with you for your lifetime.”

“Your job and your responsibility is to live your life in a way that’s in line with your values. Sometimes that’s gonna hurt someone. It’s gonna disappoint them.”

“It’s hard to be honest, especially when other people are going to feel negative emotions or have negative opinions about you.”

“Your silence can never be misquoted.”

“At ten years old he realized that people were born whole, and that the bad things peeled layers from the person you once were, thinning compassion and empathy and the ability to construct a future. At thirteen he knew those layers could sometimes be rebuilt when people loved you. When you loved.

“There is no easy way to talk about suicide. Sometimes the people you love don’t leave you with goodbyes - they just leave.”

“I’d gone through the worst day of my life by myself, and I came out the other side a person who survived it. That was not something to fix.”

This chapter is hitting hard. 😮‍💨

“And despite everything, I still loved him.”

“We could just freeze the moment and live in it, surrounded by the love we had for each other. But we couldn’t. Because he’d put me through hell for over a year, and no matter how much I loved him, I wasn’t sure I could ever trust him with my heart again, ever trust him to tell me the truth when it came to our relationship.”

“We are imperfect people made that way by an imperfect world, and we don’t always get a say in what shapes us.”

“But I didn’t know how to trust the appearance of sunshine after living in a perpetual hurricane.”

“Cancer is business, and business is good.”

“But I can tell you sometimes the losses are just as important as the wins. The wins feel really good and let us celebrate what we did right. But the losses, they teach us more. They teach us to see where we can improve, and yeah, they feel pretty darn bad and that’s okay. As you get bigger, you’ll see that it’s not how you handle the wins that make you a good man, it’s how you handle the losses.”

“Honest, bad choices, I could handle. Lies were intentional, inflicted pain for selfish reasons, and unforgivable.”

“In my only life, she was my mom.”

“Highs and lows make you feel that things matter, but they’re nothing.”

“I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.”

“I needed a child. What does it mean to need a child? One morning I awoke and understood the hole in the middle of me. I realized that I could compromise my life, but not life after me. I couldn’t explain it. The need came before explanations. It was not out of weakness that I made it happen, but it was not out of strength either. It was out of need. I needed a child.”

“He loved her, but he didn’t treat her like he loved her.”

“She felt hollow & heavy all at once.”

“ Even if we don’t lie to others, we often lie to ourselves. And the word good means different things to different people.”

Ch 16

“Choosing to leave the past in the past will help me start to heal.”