Darchelle > Recent Status Updates

“There is no easy way to talk about suicide. Sometimes the people you love don’t leave you with goodbyes - they just leave.”

“I’d gone through the worst day of my life by myself, and I came out the other side a person who survived it. That was not something to fix.”

This chapter is hitting hard. 😮‍💨

“And despite everything, I still loved him.”

“We could just freeze the moment and live in it, surrounded by the love we had for each other. But we couldn’t. Because he’d put me through hell for over a year, and no matter how much I loved him, I wasn’t sure I could ever trust him with my heart again, ever trust him to tell me the truth when it came to our relationship.”

“We are imperfect people made that way by an imperfect world, and we don’t always get a say in what shapes us.”

“But I didn’t know how to trust the appearance of sunshine after living in a perpetual hurricane.”

“Cancer is business, and business is good.”

“But I can tell you sometimes the losses are just as important as the wins. The wins feel really good and let us celebrate what we did right. But the losses, they teach us more. They teach us to see where we can improve, and yeah, they feel pretty darn bad and that’s okay. As you get bigger, you’ll see that it’s not how you handle the wins that make you a good man, it’s how you handle the losses.”

“Honest, bad choices, I could handle. Lies were intentional, inflicted pain for selfish reasons, and unforgivable.”

“In my only life, she was my mom.”

“Highs and lows make you feel that things matter, but they’re nothing.”

“I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.”

“I needed a child. What does it mean to need a child? One morning I awoke and understood the hole in the middle of me. I realized that I could compromise my life, but not life after me. I couldn’t explain it. The need came before explanations. It was not out of weakness that I made it happen, but it was not out of strength either. It was out of need. I needed a child.”

“He loved her, but he didn’t treat her like he loved her.”

“She felt hollow & heavy all at once.”

“ Even if we don’t lie to others, we often lie to ourselves. And the word good means different things to different people.”

Ch 16

“Choosing to leave the past in the past will help me start to heal.”

“Tova wonders sometimes if it’s better that way, to have one’s tragedies clustered together, to make good use of the existing rawness. Get it over with in one shot.”

“Because if you were my wife you would be my world. Everything starts with you and ends with you. Anything else is just the stuff that happens in the middle.”

“She’ll blame the lack of a relationship on you and say it’s something you did so they can be the victim because narcissists love that.”

“I wasn’t an introvert so much as people just irritated me.”

“Lies stole the dignity and respect I deserved from someone I had intended to spend my life with.”

“I thought I could fix us. Find a way to make things work. Wives think their husbands will change, but they don’t. Husbands think their wives won’t change, but they do.”

“There is a reason why people paper over the cracks in their life, or in this case hide things beneath the floorboards. It’s far easier to pretend your problems away if you can’t see them.”

“I keep my thoughts to myself because silence cannot be misquoted.”

“Expecting people to do the right thing is probably naive. Wanting them to isn’t.”

“Wasting food only spites yourself. Being weak only helps your captors.”