Joylynn > Recent Status Updates

The story is interesting but the writing needs more work. She needs additional editing for sure. Her sentences can be confusing because there are too many prepostions:

We came up on a hallway as we walked alongside the glass peering into the deep underground library while passing up multiple doors on the right.

6 prepositional phrases in one sentence is too many.

Dnf'ing this.

"Oh look at all the lonely people" - Eleanor Rigby

When people talk about this book they mention tropes like enemies to lovers and how the MCs are part of rival criminal organizations. But no one mentions how heartbreaking it is to read about two lonely people yearning to be loved and seen.