Bax > Recent Status Updates

Reading this series makes me realise why some devoted people could go crazy.

I’m 37% in and I am slightly disappointed this book doesn’t grip me the way Butcher & Blackbird did. I am in no way comparing the two books. The premises are different. Sort of. But I don’t really feel invested with the characters the way I did with Sloane and Rowan.

“What if they’d never met?
But they had, and they were perfect for each other in a way that probably only they would ever understand. Their relationship wasn’t easy, but it existed. They’d made it happen, against all odds, and they’d protected it.”

I don’t understand either lol it’s true, only they understand each other

“Aren’t we both concerned about that?”
Ilya didn’t answer, and Shane felt like he was missing something important. “We can talk about it if you—”
“No,” Ilya grumbled. “Is nothing.”
“Okay.” It wasn’t the first time Ilya had seemed randomly upset about something he refused to talk about. Shane worried, sometimes, that there were a lot of things Ilya wasn’t telling him.

SEEEE Shane cared alot

“Would you show me off?” Shane asked quietly.
He could feel the heat of Ilya’s gaze even without looking. “I would never stop showing you off,” Ilya said. “If I could.”

“He took a sideways step so his hip brushed against Ilya’s, then placed a hand on the small of his back. It wasn’t much, but Ilya’s whole body relaxed as he leaned back into the touch. He glanced down at Shane and gave him a small, grateful smile.”

I cannot stay mad at Shane because of this

Shane flinched, and stared at him with wide, questioning eyes.
“What?” he asked.
Kiss me, Ilya wanted to say. Kiss me and hold me in front of all these people. Pull me onstage and do it. I don’t care anymore. Please. I’m dying.
“Nothing,” Ilya said, and stepped away. “Nothing.”

Stopppp Ilya is always dying since HR too 😔

“Sometimes Ilya was so starved for touch he felt like screaming. He felt it most when Shane was close, like he was now, but off-limits.”

“Ilya closed and locked the door, then pressed Shane against it.
“Oh,” Shane said, and then Ilya was kissing him, hard and with purpose, as if this was a form of physical therapy.
“Better?” Ilya asked, when they finally pulled apart.”

Oh to be understood and loved by Ilya. Idk how Shane missed all this

“Why is it a secret? You wouldn’t be the only gay hockey players. Or queer. Sorry, I shouldn’t assume.”
“I am bisexual,” Ilya said, nodding. “Shane is super gay.”
“I’m regular gay,” Shane argued.

I love Shane, but he could be exhausting sometimes. And that's coming from me. I'm sure people find me exhausting too. We're almost similar lmao

“So it’s not a super-long-distance relationship,” Fabian observed.
Shane squirmed because this was the first time anyone at the table had directly acknowledged the fact that Ilya and Shane were a couple. “It’s, um. It’s not a huge distance, but—”
“Feels farther,” Ilya said. “We are so busy, during the season. Not much time together.”

Oh Ilya

“J.J. isn’t my mom.”
“No,” Yuna said. “Your mom is the one making dinner at the end of a long day while you sit on your butt and mope. Come help.”
“I’m helping,” Ilya couldn’t resist pointing out.
“I know you are.” Yuna patted his cheek. “That’s why you’re my favorite son.”

“Shane—”
“No. Shut up. If you really don’t get that I’m not going to leave you for the first cute guy who smiles at me, then I don’t know what we’re even doing, Ilya.”
“I’m sorry,” Ilya said, because suddenly he really was. “Was a weird day. I was maybe just...” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”
Shane rested a hand on Ilya’s chest. “I’m yours. You know that.”

Things were tense between them for the rest of the day. Ilya couldn’t even apologize because Shane wouldn’t talk to him. Not that he felt like apologizing; he just wanted Shane to stop being mad about it. And Ilya wanted to stop feeling embarrassed about doing it. It had been immature and petty and unprofessional. He still didn’t want to apologize, though.

I see many debated about Ilya not voicing his thoughts out. But would it bring any good? He could be angry towards Shane but Shane was already in a bad place. Would it end with a good note?

Possibly not. Possibly yes. But their issues probably could have been resolved in chapter 1.

“You are worrying too much.”
“Easy for you to say,” Shane grumbled. “Your mom hasn’t been texting all week with stressful details about this damn camp.”
Ilya’s hands dropped to his sides. “No,” he said quietly. “She has not.”

He was insensitive. He didn't realise it. Ilya let it go. Was I mad at Shane the first time I read this? Yes. I still am. Autistic or not, that was hurtful.

I love this book so much I'm gonna start quoting it. Watch this space. MANY SPOILERS WARNING.

“Sorry? What did you just say?”
Maybe I misheard him. He shrugs.
“I’m a whore.”
Nope. No mishearing.
I hesitate. “Should you be saying that?”

Lol I hope this book is good because that's such an interesting way to tell someone that you're a sex worker.

I thought I was done, but I can’t help myself as I say, “And Julian?”

He lifts his chin in silent acknowledgment.

“There is absolutely nothing you can offer me that would convince me to leave Lily—whether it be money, endorsements, or a guaranteed election victory. So bring up the idea again and I’ll show you what it’s like to be my enemy.”

Lmao I knew Lorenzo would be my fav Lake Wisteria man.

“I’ve had a plan in place since Mercer turned seventeen. My son falling for him wasn’t a part of that plan, but I think it’s time to fill everyone in.”

Such a healthy family of assassins. Didn't even blink to find out his son fell in love with the enemy's son. Love that for us.

“Blake?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“Thanks for… seeing me.”
He smiles at me, still sweaty and exhausted. “I’ll never stop looking, Mercer.”

DAMMIT BLAKE

“You’re going to ruin my life. And make it fucking fun. You’re going to be my brat when you want to be, my partner all the time, and my good little boy when you need to be reminded how fucking important you are. You know what I’m going to be for you? Everything. Yours. You fucking own me, Mercer. I’m not going anywhere.”

Dammit I love them

“Blake, don’t leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
“I mean ever,” I say, knowing it’s psychotic. We barely know each other. “You’ll break me.”
“I won’t break you, Mercer. Stand up and look at me.”

Wait just wait

OMGGGG I can't believe I forgot to mention about Max and Geraldine in my previous review!!! They're so strange together it's madddd but also why it worked so well. I love how insane Max was for his Gerry hahaha love them

Xavier and the other spares seem like an unnecessary plot line. I don't feel like Xavier should have his own pov. I don't like it anymore now that he's in Zodiac

Sorry i overreacted too early

ARE YOU TELLING ME IT'S LANCE'S BIRTHDAY AND NO ONE FUCKING REMEMBERED?! NOT EVEN DARIUS?!!?!?!?!? SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

I was distracted a lot these couple of days, so I'm only halfway through the book but this is all very tragic so far, but the most tragic I think would be how we discovered that The Savage King was not at all savage.

I feel like the stars had doomed the family and the bloodline from the start.

I want to let everyone know that I started this book last night but it's going at a slow pace because I am impatient and I have been googling spoilers.

I saw something that I like and now I'm very very very very eager to get to the scene. Please and thank you.

I hate the authors, jsyk