Monica > Recent Status Updates

Becoming who you want to be is just like anything else. It takes practice. It requires belief that one day, you’ll wake up and be a natural at it.

It is so much easier to sit in things and wait for something to save us.

It is not an easy thing to do, walk away from what you’ve built and save yourself.

Her presence had somehow become irrelevant to her own husband, and how are people supposed to tolerate that kind of pain? How are you supposed to go from being the center of someone’s world to being irrelevant?

Phoebe was the only person waiting in the dark to condemn herself for every single thing when the day was over.

And why does she do this? Why does she have a nice day with people, feel connected to them, and then, when alone, think only about the possible horrors of her isolation ahead?

When you talk to me about your Plan A, you look like you want to die. You’re miserable, your energy is low, and you’re dragging, as if it’s a chore, which defeats the point of what you were looking to do. When you talk about Plan B? Your energy completely changes. You light up: I’ve never seen you so excited about anything before. You need to pay attention to that. Plan B is the direction you want to go in.

For the first time, I was awakening to the possibility that I wasn’t a victim of life. I was in charge of my own destiny. … No more self-pity, no more waiting. I didn’t need a perfect plan, just the next step. My focus was clear. As long as I kept moving with the intention of changing my life for the better, good things would happen sooner or later.

Am I supposed to tell someone how to die who has never lived?

Que sera sera -what will be, will be

That the beginning, and the end may have been chosen for us, the string already spun, but the middle had always been left undetermined, to be woven and shaped by us.

No matter what happens, I still feel the same.

I always used to wonder about these other versions of myself potentially leading different lives, but now I know that this life is the one I was meant for.

She didn’t want to talk about the ending. So she talked about the story itself.

“Tell them that I always wanted to be an explorer. That I always tried to take the first step, to be the first one to dive into the freezing water, the first to taste the strange looking food, the first to get on stage and sing. And now I’ll be the first to know what happens next, the first to find out what’s waiting for us all. I promise to do enough recon that I can tell you all about it when you get here.”

And in true Maura fashion, she even gave me a final message to ensure that that hers was the last voice we would hear at her service:

Celebrity mugshots: they’re a reminder that sometimes we screw up, and sometimes the system screws with us, but if you love your life with enough passion and boldness, then that’s what you’ll be remembered for. Not the crap that happened along the way.

That’s what passes for a life. That’s what passes for happiness for most people. They’re like sleepwalkers and nothing ever jolts them awake.

I think people … think work is supposed to be drudgery punctuated by very occasional moments of happiness, but when I say happiness, I mostly mean distraction.

“I’m talking about these people who’ve ended up in one life instead of another and they are just so disappointed. Do you know what I mean“ they’ve done what’s expected of them they want to do something different but it’s impossible. Now, there’s a mortgage, kids, whatever, they’re trapped.” … High-functioning sleepwalkers, essentially. …

Understand the people who have made different decisions than you, and ended up with a different outcome than you, can be just as smart, funny, insightful, and worthy as you. They do what makes sense to them, and they’re trying to find their way in a complex world. You do what makes sense to you, and you’re trying to find your way in a complex world.

Spend less than you make.
Quietly compound.
Money serves you, not the other way around.
No one is thinking about you as much as you are.
Independence is wealth.
Health is wealth.
Aim to be a good ancestor.
Love your family.

It’s almost impossible to build wealth without controlling your biggest expenses. And it’s very difficult to grow wealth without caring about smaller expenses. Balance.

Tend to the small things. More people are defeated by blisters than mountains.

It’s impossible to know what you’re going to like until you try it, so you have to try everything. But the only way to try a million things is to have a strong filter that immediately rejects what isn’t for you.
Spend extravagantly on the things you love as long as you mercilessly cut the things you don’t.

There is only one success-to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley
When you do things quietly, you’re less susceptible to people with different goals and personalities telling you you’re doing it wrong. Live and let live.

The best position to be in is rich AND anonymous. More money=more social debt
Quiet compounding

Imagine if, by the time you died, you had done everything you were told to do: you worked hard, saved your money, and looked forward to financial freedom when you retired. The only thing you wasted along the way was….your life.

Good advice is never as simple as “Live for today” or “Save for the future.” The only good advice is “Minimize future regret.”

The value of anything is its ability to help you live the life you want. Nothing more. Utility vs. Status