Chelsea > Recent Status Updates

If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a movie about a shark throwing up people until they open a beach.

I ASSUME these Alice flashbacks are working up to Catty being dead, but geeze, they are doing literally nothing for me.

I can tell this is going to be the sort of book that is generally informative and interesting in a semi-academic way, but also wildly overdramatic at points. For example, it has been nearly a quarter of a century since this book came out and the microwave has not, in fact, been the downfall of modern civilization.

I am THRILLED to see that Ishtvan is the MMC of book 2 because I already adore him

Paige is not passive aggressive enough to be a spy. She decides to figure out the source of tension between the person she is impersonating and her husband by being NICE to him. No! You show up, give him the silent treatment, stab your food and act generally pissed, and when he asks what's wrong, you hit him with the good ol' "I don't know, why don't you tell me?" in your nastiest voice. Boom. Mission complete.

Also that apartment that "would go for millions" in California could easily do the same in DC from how it's described. It is NOT cheap to live here! And Reagan INTERNATIONAL Airport?? What timeline are we living in???? (Also no one calls it Reagan, it's National or DCA, something one would think a flight attendant would know???)

I CANNOT comprehend why Curto chose to set this in DC, a city she evidently knows nothing about as has become evident in less than two chapters. The DC Stars, Titans, and Dolphins??? I get making up a team because you can't use an existing team's name for trademark reasons, but most authors doing this a) make up their own league or b) putting the team in a city that DOESN'T ALREADY HAVE ONE.

I'm convinced that Jimenez wrote this entire series just to serve as stealth advertising for her bakery business.

Oh my god these people are exhausting.

Ooooh it's Wuthering Heights on ice. (The Goodreads page references WH but the actual book jacket doesn't, hence why it took me 50 pages to figure that out.)

Take a shot every time Larson uses the word "chivalry."

Oh no this book is going to be DEVASTATING isn't it?

I'm doing it. I'm reading the 750-page hockey romance.

Alexa, play "Cell Block Tango."

Dollars to donuts that Grey's flashbacks to Elora's last night are actually premonitions of what will happen to her. Torn between Hart and Evie as the murderer.

I'm only 23% in and I'm hate reading. Clara is an absolutely despicable person and every "insult" Rose throws at her is actually just a straight-up fact. SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW was such a cute book but this one is AWFUL.

You know what I loved? Towles' last book. You know what I hate? BOOKS THAT DON'T USE QUOTATION MARKS FOR DIALOGUE. WHY make this decision??? It does not make you cool, it just makes you look like you're trying too hard to be ~different~ and ~artistic~. And there are almost 600 pages of this nonsense!!!!!

This book has serious Sabriel vibes and I am HERE FOR IT.

In the space of three pages there has been an explicit Ted Bundy reference and a description of Leni as having long hair, parted down the middle--a Bundy favorite in his victims. Did I COMPLETELY misunderstand the jacket summary of this book?

I hardly ever mark books as "currently reading" but felt like I just had to with this one, because OF COURSE the heroine is "low maintenance" and doesn't need time to get ready for dates, but is ALSO a hyper-gorgeous "sex goddess," and yes, the words "sex goddess" are ACTUALLY used here. *eye roll*

"I felt the stare of someone's omnivorous eyes on my spine..." What does that even MEAN? OMNIVOROUS EYES???

I'm still looking for the plot here...

This bath scene is weird AF.

Romance buddy read for our pirate theme... This is not off to a great start.

"There are forty at least. No, likely fifty. Fifty shades of gray." ELOISA!

Done! Full review coming soon, but thank the stars I didn't have work today, because this was everything I wanted it to be.