Bill Baker > Recent Status Updates

I guess it’s off all of the waitlists because it was on the “new releases” shelf at the library.

Had no idea it was about a chess player but I should have known from the title they’re all called “The Queen’s Gambit” or “zugzwang” or “The Vienna Opening” or “The Rubenstein Variation” or whatever

“You’re my praying mantis, didn’t you know? The female devours the male while he’s making love to her. He dies happy, apparently. My case exactly.”

Follows one of the iron rules of literature: if a character is gay between 1970 and 1995, he WILL die from AIDS.

"Time can divorce us from the reality of people..."

Too much sex. Too many brands. Just fire American Jewish culture into space now.

Foer paints a utopia in which children speak like adults pretending to be children and adults speak like the narrator in a Jonathan Safran Foer novel.

*Names his novel 'Scoop'*

"This is so pithy and alluring, how can I make this book sound as boringly British as possible?

*Subtitles his novel 'A Novel About Journalists'*

"What I say is that employer have no right to have male assistants in their houses unless they are prepared to let their daughters marry! That's what I say! No RIGHT!"