Ethan > Recent Status Updates

It made me worry we had different ideas about the story we were living together.;I would tell that to a friend, not a lover and it was as though R. had heard this thought when he continued, I’ve never had anybody to talk to about this. He said you’re the only one, and then smiled again.

“In this world we struggle and bitch and fail and hurt and then weep over someone checking out of it all.”

I realized too late that I had used the polite form of the verb, so that my invitation at once welcomed him and held him off.

And so it is, I thought then, as the man and his child released each other and moved away from the water, so it is that at the very moment we come into full consciousness of ourselves what we experience is leave-taking and a loss we seek the rest of our lives to restore.

How can you excise pain that radiates through your body, that torments your blood, that clings to your bones?

Yet on this day, that thought did not suffocate him. Instead, his reaction was, yes, such things do happen. They do happen. After all, it’s just a matter of flesh and blood. Not more than a pile of bone and ash in the end, right? There has to be something more important than that.