Laura > Recent Status Updates

Trying to decide if I should nope out on this book after reading a reference to how a white woman with dark hair could practically be a geisha...

Literary fiction usually bores me but this book is incredible.

So maybe it’s just literary fiction written by middle aged white dudes that bores me. 🤔

"...I will say some of the ways we paint our faces gives me pause, like when we draw on our eyebrows and they end up looking like EKGs or other vital signs."

True story: I have no idea what my mom's natural eyebrows look like. I have never actually seen them. She (quite obviously) drew them on up until a visit to Korea when I was in college and came back with TATTOOED EYEBROWS. I shit you not.

"Call your friends up and ask how they're doing."

No. No I will not.

But I WILL text.

I would have read this book ages ago had I known that making CD mixes was a major plot point.

Rose's Deli and Bakery reference! DRINK! (My first job after I moved to the Portland, OR area was at a Rose's.)

I'm feeling a definite Scorpio Races vibe with this one. Which, ya know, is one of the highest possible compliments I can give.

Silly Maura! Of COURSE pie counts as a meal!!!

How to tell the difference between the real world and the literary world: In the literary world, no one has a passcode on their cellphone, leading to convenient plot shenanigans.

Maggie Stiefvater: Master of writing irresistable assholes.

*FINALLY gives in and googles "Italian Café Lights*

"'I'm not socially anxious.' Socially annoyed, sure.."

I am totally stealing this line for future frequent use.

I know it's meant to be emotional and heartrending, but all can picture whenever Saba dramatically declares "I WILL FIND YOU" is this:



aka the epitome of early 90s melodrama.

My god. How does Elizabeth Scott do it. Reading this book is like having a duct tape bandage ripped off over and over and over again.

Britney Spears singalong!!! Yes!!!!! (Now it seems even more fitting that we had a Backstreet Boys singalong on the way to see Maggie Stiefvater in Seattle a couple weeks ago.)

Magic: The Gathering reference! Drink!

Jared is always leaning, is he? BUT DOES HE LEAN AS WELL AS JORDAN CATALANO??????

Damn it all Jared, THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY.

Oh. Oh, dear. The couple is taking up a four-top in a restaurant because they just HAVE to sit next to each other while they eat. *faintly hears wails of anyone who has ever or does work in the food service industry*

I love how in books, musical instruments just magically stay in tune. As a professional piano tuner, all I have to say to that is HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm assuming that a character named Dillon is a positive sign. #texasforever

Chill out, overly dramatic NYCers. A foot of snow is NOT in any way a "major snowstorm."

Regards, a former Buffalonian.

"Tell them I hope they have great-shaped heads."

I can tell you from experience that this is Very Important in case any of y'all are planning on shaving your heads.

This is precisely why BCC is your friend, y'all!

Way to give me whiplash on the 3rd page, Cath Crowley!

*cringes* Oh, Gracie. I need to step away from your teenage awkward for awhile.

Read-a-long with Renae!!! Woot!

It's totally appropriate to call into work because you absolutely, positively NEED to finish reading a book right?

(Asking for a friend, of course.)

8:30am.
*wakes up at agreed upon time to go hiking*
Husband: *whines* Can I sleep a LITTLE longer? (the fact that I supposedly snored all night and kept him up is of course not relevant.)
Me: Sure. I'll just go downstairs and read. *makes coffee* *engrosses self in book*
11:30am.
Husband: I'm ready now! 3 hours later than scheduled!
Me: *cries at tiny unread fraction of book*

*sputters* WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! (Jaclyn Moriarty has a habit of making me feel most un-clever.)