this doesn’t feel like a first draft it feels like a 0.5 draft. Carlton focuses on a few scenes she wants to and seems to disregard how the rest of the story is strung together. action sequences that should have been featured get skipped, character info is dumped instead of being dialogue, and zade is an all powerful god until he’s not.
this needed more time to cook. it’s too long and frankly incoherent
— Sep 26, 2024 01:22PM
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