Sue Child > Recent Status Updates

I'm loving the change to first person for this new POV! I'm liking the deep POV here (which I've been missing) and hoping we get more of this character depth in the next book and more of this character.

455 telling us what we already know, albeit to another character, is still repetition

Swann a bit unheroic here too

Omniscient viewpoint again. Lots of they did this, they did that.

This last 100 pages has the inherent tension which was missing from earlier chapters.

Swan is unheroic here. Not for the first time. I think this is the first of a series so her character arc may not need much forward momentum yet, but it's another time I can't warm to her.

Unclear whose POV I'm in until 3 pages in to the chapter & find out it's Swan's. Maybe? It doesn't sound like her. I skipped ahead to orient myself, but although we dip into Swan's thoughts for a sentence maybe, we don't stay there. It's like a film camera landing on several characters to show their state of mind but we also dip briefly into Constantine's thoughts. I can see this as a film as it's very visual.

I'm feeling the tension now and waiting for key POV characters to catch on and show some agency.

All the omniscient POV/authorial intrusion definitely has to be a choice as it's being used to add tension, but it's at the expense of pulling me out of the charzcter's POV each time.

I'm still waiting. for POV characters to use their agency to impact storyline and plot. They definitely make some choices, but are still being led around with plot getting them to where they need to be, information spooned to them and being in the right place at the right/wrong time. They are interesting but I'd definitely like more depth and agency.

We're in Thom's POV but Thom doesn't notice a pair of figures arrive. Authorial intrusion/omniscient POV definitely a choice.

I am really enjoying the story now. The fight scene was excellent. Action and dialogue are well written. The political intrigue is keeping me intrigued and turning the pages. I like how the characters are coming together There are some characters I'd like to go back and reread bits about as they become increasingly significant. Looks like the last 100 pages are going to be good.

Though she couldn't see it her eyes spasmed . In her own POV how would she know unless she had a mirror. Jarring authorial intrusion again. It's definitely a choice.

TW animal killed :(

Hopped into a random POV for a paragraph.

Whilst in a character's POV, there's more "he didn't notice" "they didn't notice." It's feels like authorial/omniscient intrusion is a deliberate choice to add tension. I'm not a big fan of head hopping either.

A few too many adverbial dialogue tags here: She said sarcastically. He said snottily.

I'm waiting for some agency from Fenne and Swan.

Another version of GRRM's when can a man be brave.

Audible: The narrator sounds like she's introducing a wrestling match every time there's some kind of intro speech, which is ok for the duels but otherwise a bit overpowering and shouty in some of the conversations

Overwriting: Swan felt the element of a tear form in her eye

Audible: Places where the prose is over-written or overdramatic are emphasised by the narrator also over dramatising it .

The story is becoming more interesting.

I enjoyed the action scene and am enjoying the new characters/setting and interaction especially <spoiler> dragon </spoiler> This lack of respect for a diplomatic mission is far from the courtesy we were promised I don't remember them being promised courtesy unless I missed something. Swan is annoying again here when she has no empathy/compassion for the "Eronese pigs" or sense of responsibility

Action scene. Hoping the story is about to take off as almost half way.

More overwriting. Again in Swan's POV she didn't notice another flash of gold from the far tower. If she didn't notice it wouldn't be in her POV. More authorial intrusion. Feels like a newbie mistake.

I'm going to add overwriting to my perceived flaws, eg they beheld rather than saw and crescent of teeth.

The action scene was good. Repetition about the Mistral's decline and why. It feels like world building, exposition, repetition decorated with some action. Dialogue is good and then more repetitive exposition. I like some characters, eg Fenne, Thom and Luck and having a hard time with others. Lots of cardboard cutouts that are either good or bad guys. Prose is ok mostly except for writing tics

More exposition. This time through dialogue: "You know the history of course..." and then proceeds to tell her (us) about it

Ch8. In Swan's POV on top of the carriage. So no mirror, no glass and describing her eyes as a rare sunset and describing herself as beautiful. And a masterpiece. This feels a bit amateurish as though it's the writer describing her and not the character, which makes the point of view feel a bit shallow. The chapter also starts with geo-political landscape. Lots of repetition and exposition.

A lot of world building, but I don't dislike seeing how the city works. I like a city in fantasy and all the intrigues and conflicts it promises. I no longer want to put it down and feel more invested in Fenne and Thom. Characters are a bit black and white. The writer has a tendency to jolt the reader out of POV and into author/omniscient voice which jars a bit.

The writing still has tics. Repetition of word choices in close proximity to each other of words that stand out, prose uses lots of incomplete sentences, which lack a subject and don't follow on from a very short sentence. Feels jarring and fewer of them would smooth the reading experience. Sentences ending with prepositions in the prose and not dialogue.