Aseel > Recent Status Updates

Open and close your mouth:
your teeth always come together in the same position, with
upper and lower teeth fitting together precisely. Because
the upper and lower cusps, basins, and ridges match closely,
we are able to break up food with maximal efficiency. In
fact, a mismatch between upper and lower teeth can shatter
our teeth, and enrich our dentists.

Reptiles also lack the precise occlusion—the
fit between upper and lower teeth—that humans and other
mammals have. Also, whereas we mammals replace our
teeth only once, reptiles typically receive visits from the
tooth fairy for their entire lives, replacing their teeth
continually as they wear and break down.

Our limbs exist in three dimensions: they have a top and a
bottom, a pinky side and a thumb side, a base and a tip. The
bones at the tips, in our fingers, are different from the
bones at the shoulder. Likewise, our hands are different
from one side to the other. Our pinkies are shaped
differently from our thumbs.

But there is a big limitation to working with
fossils. We cannot do experiments on long-dead animals.
Experiments are great because we can actually manipulate
something to see the results. For this reason, my laboratory
is split directly in two: half is devoted to fossils, the other
half to embryos and DNA. Life in my lab can be
schizophrenic.

From common parts came a very unique
construction. We are not separate from the rest of the living
world; we are part of it down to our bones and, as we will
see shortly, even our genes.

Do the facts of our ancient history mean that humans are
not special or unique among living creatures? Of course not.
In fact, knowing something about the deep origins of
humanity only adds to the remarkable fact of our existence:
all of our extraordinary capabilities arose from basic
components that evolved in ancient fish and other
creatures.

Finally, the full complement
of wrist and ankle bones found in a human hand or foot is
seen in reptiles more than 250 million years old. The basic
skeleton of our hands and feet emerged over hundreds of
millions of years, first in fish and later in amphibians and
reptiles.

The important, and
often surprising, fact is that most of the major bones
humans use to walk, throw, or grasp first appear in animals
tens to hundreds of millions of years before.

the
earliest creature to have the bones of our upper arm, our
forearm, even our wrist and palm, also had scales and fin
webbing. That creature was a fish.

The bones of the front fin of Tiktaalik— a fish with a
wrist.

Our upper arm
has a single bone, and that single bone, the humerus,
attaches to our shoulder. In the lungfish, we have a fish with
a humerus. And, curiously, it is not just any fish; it is a fish
that also has lungs. Coincidence?

All creatures with limbs, whether those
limbs are wings, flippers, or hands, have a common design.
One bone, the humerus in the arm or the femur in the leg,
articulates with two bones, which attach to a series of small
blobs, which connect with the fingers or toes. This pattern
underlies the architecture of all limbs.

“Then we do the work,” Kathy says, squeezing my wrist. “We do the work, and we build you back up, not basing your worth on a boy, or a relationship, or the outcome of a fight, or your social media, or what people say or think about you. We build you up and make you strong, using your own words and your own beliefs about yourself. We build you up, using things that no one can ever take away from you again.”

“Little-t traumas are still very painful, like going through a breakup, your pet dying, even being in a car crash. Repetitive stress, and living in a high-stress environment, suffering through little-t traumas, can accumulate into something called complex PTSD.”
“Sounds awful,” I say. “Also like something I don’t have.”

“You’re not crazy,” Kathy says. “Have you ever heard of hypervigilance?”
“No,” I say, wiping my nose.
“It’s a symptom of PTSD—”

That she called me crying, and I screamed at her, that I never asked what was wrong. That I hadn’t asked what was wrong in a very long time, even though I knew something was. I was worried about someone else, a stranger, not my best friend, right in front of me. Someone asked me for help, and I gave it, but it was the wrong person.

One from her mom is there, unplayed. I tap on it, listen, hear the love in her voice, the happiness, the relief that finally, maybe, the two of them were going to be okay. I close it out, pick up my own phone, text Jobie’s mom.
She listened to it.

She heard you.

“You were the center of attention. He was reminded that you’re somewhat famous; he’s not. It made him feel small, so instead of being proud of you, he found ways to drag you down.”

“Which is disgusting,” I say back to her.
“Did you hear what you just said?” she asks. “You’re using Baxter’s words to describe yourself.”
“He’s not wrong,” I say, sticking my chin out.
“Would you have ever called yourself disgusting before?”

Yeah,” I say, rousing myself. “No, I wouldn’t have called myself disgusting before, but I also didn’t really think bad things about myself, like ever. I probably needed a reality check.”
“After our session will you humor me about something?” Kathy asks. “Will you look up narcissistic personality disorder?

we’re driving toward a person that has a grudge against you, and maybe a gun.”
“One percent chance,” I agree. “Which is why I didn’t come alone.”
“But you’ll risk the lesbian?”
“That’s not what I meant,” I say.
“Maybe not, but if this was a horror movie, you know I’m going down.”

“It could still be legit,” I tell Mal. “It could be any of the other girls I had it narrowed down to.”
“Yeah, it could be,” Mal says. “And we were all going to go to the police station together, so really you didn’t break your word to her. We’re just going to get there before them and with higher blood pressure.”

“Or, your little sister’s right and it’s someone catfishing you, and you’ve got a big-ass hook right through your cheek right now,” Mal says. “In that case, we’re driving toward a person that has a grudge against you, and maybe a gun.”

we’re driving toward a person that has a grudge against you, and maybe a gun.”
“One percent chance,” I agree. “Which is why I didn’t come alone.”
“But you’ll risk the lesbian?”
“That’s not what I meant,” I say.
“Maybe not, but if this was a horror movie, you know I’m going down.”

At least you’re not going by yourself, I guess,” she acknowledges now. “Now we can be murder sisters

“Or, your little sister’s right and it’s someone catfishing you, and you’ve got a big-ass hook right through your cheek right now,” Mal says. “In that case, we’re driving toward a person that has a grudge against you, and maybe a gun.”

I’m pondering the depths of the oldest question known to women—why do our mouths fall open when we put on mascara?—

putting his phone on the console in between us.
I can’t help but notice it’s face down.

and I reach for his hand as we cross the parking lot toward the restaurant. He takes it, gives me a squeeze, and then promptly lets go. He’d told me a while ago that he’s not into public displays of affection, so I try to focus on the squeeze and not the release.

I’m pondering the depths of the oldest question known to women—why do our mouths fall open when we put on mascara?—