Cédric Claerman > Recent Status Updates

‘Flemings.’ He wrinkled his nose.
‘What’s wrong with Flemings?’ asked Romford.
The stonemason just grunted.
‘Lying, cheating, swindling, godless, pox-pintled sons of whores,’ said Tebbe. ‘And that’s the nice ones.’

I’ll take no such talk from people who’d most likely put ketchup on their fries.

Atlee Pine’s second super power? Getting people killed just by exiting random-ass locations.

Atlee Pines’ biggest superpower? She can smell how tall people are.

Ah yes, the human urge to lick relics in the eye socket.

Dnf’ed.
Boring and bland.
Already 200 pages too long at the page 350 mark. Verily the English cuisine of fantasy.
Avoid at all costs

This book is the equivalent of having water as your favourite ice cream flavour. Somebody better be adding sprinkles to this mf soon or I’m going to chuck it.

The plot thickens, but nothing can ever be as thick as Spacefarer Celius’ ass. At least according to Spacefarer Cusk, that is.

“Wiping front to back is an ancient tradition at Chetwood, going back 600 years.” That’s a real quote from the book. Okay, maybe not… but it could have been.

Sevro out there playing Pokémon Go with eyeballs. Nice.

Plan. Murder. Betrayal. Repeat.
I'm loving it...

How to start a revolution:
Step One: Open fridge & retrieve dead woman.
Step Two: get weapons from the CIA.
Step Three: ...
Step Four: profit

So far, so good.
“Throbbing cock” counter: 0

What this book lacks in quotation marks, it makes up for in vibe and prose. Would still like some quotation marks, though.

It’s like National Treasure, but with magic and glowing demon cocks…nice

This guy has got these characters doing so many shrugs.
How many?
—yes

Now can someone tell me what a “Gallic shrug” is supposed to look like. And in what ways does it differ from a Italian shrug?

Damn, Peter has such a great character arc. He goes from Flemish to Dutch and from Peter to Petr between two books.

First 50% of this book be like: be sad, do drugs, ignore ghosts, repeat.