lilyann > Recent Status Updates

edmond is just a broke sweetheart little guy 🥺 it would rlly be a shame if he went to jail for a decade and then got rich and also rlly good at swordfighting and then went on a insane revenge quest. good thing that will never happen tho!

OH BROTHER THIS GUY STINKS!!!! (aka pretentious critic creates a fake interviewer to point out all of his problems only for him to avoid the questions and for the duo to start having a pretentious-off to see who is more holier-than-thou and smart abt media 🙄)

only one chapter in and murderbot is ALREADY going thru it and getting injured. like i love reading this series when life sucks bc no matter how bad my day is, murderbot is always having a worse one lmao

*captain kirk starlog voice* illiadposting update, just finished book 11:
• shit hits the fan for the greeks
• diomedes & paris have a childish bitchfit on the battlefield talking abt how they could kill the other better
• odysseus tries to be a one man army
• patroclus fetches gossip for achilles (& nestor plants some silly ideas in his head 👀)
• and lastly: agamemnon still sucks <3

based on what i've read so far this is basically "matt murdock and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week" 😭

BOOK TWO IS LITERALLY JUST THEM DOING A ROLE CALL OF LITERALLY EVERY POSSIBLE CHARACTER AND I KID U NOT FEATURES ODYSSEUS WITH THE GOD GIVEN TALKING STICK HITTING A RUDE SOLIDER TO DEATH 😭😭😭 this may actually be a comedy

☆ book 1/24 ☆
ty for this chapter starting the illiad off strong by giving exposition as to why agamemnon is legitimately The Worst. lord of men 🙄? more like Little Lord Fuckleroy of Men Who Can't Function Without A Child Bride, i already hate his ass.
(also achilles is there being a whiney mama's boy)

book 5/24
tldr; hermes tells kalypso that she can't keep hogging her boy toy on her island forever. so (very reluctantly & with some moderate complaining) she gives him all this fancy shit for his trip home, only for poseidon to immediately try killing him once he gets in the ocean. however he gets saved by this water nymph & river god and ends the chapter not doing too hot passed tf out on shore.

book 4/24 ✅️ (halfway thru book 5)
tldr; telemachus goes to see another one of his old dad's war buddies menelaus. Big M tells him of how the gods cursed his voyage home as well but when he gained favor found out Ody was still alive lost at sea. book 5 starts w/Zeus sending Hermes to talk some sense into Kalypso to let Ody go (who is basically holding him hostage as a sex slave??). so Ody gets to leave safely (maybe)

book 3/24 ✅️ "THE LORD OF THE WESTERN APPROACHES"
athena gives telemachus a pep talk to go talk to Ody's old war buddy Nestor. Nestor gives a recap of what happened to the other Famous Solider Guys after the Trojan War. Athena promptly reveals herself and fucks off so Nestor has a party in her honor and gets Telemachus a uber so he can talk to Menelaos (so basically jackshit happened)

book 2 "a hero's son awakens" ✅️
tldr; telemachus goes to city hall and begs for the suitors to leave his house. they all very not kindly say "no ❤️" and among other shenanigans athena helps telemachus get a crew so he can leave ithica to figure out what happened to his daddy dearest

book 1/24 ✅️
tldr: athena feels bad for our dude odysseus who is Going Thru It. so she pops over to ithica tells telemachus to investigate what happened to his MIA deadbeat dad. also this finally gives him the inspo to kick some freeloading simps out of his house.

local rock nerd enters his lana del ray coded depression era