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Brigid I love you so much

My definition of beauty starts and ends with Theodora. And as for the value I give her, it’s immeasurable. She is worth dying for, living for. Killing for, probably, or at least poisoning for. She is worth every academic failure, every restless night, all the suffering and yearning and hopelessness. She isn’t worth everything. She is everything. So how could I possibly stay angry at her? 🥺🥺

“Ah, of course I do. I love you atrociously.” He smiles, the hue of desire in his expression shifting, darkening into a sort of yearning melancholy. “I love you with every atom of my being, and I love every atom of yours. I love you desperately, like a starving man. I love you to distraction. And I think maybe you love me too, Theodora Dorokhova. You just aren’t quite ready to say it yet.” JUNGE,?#?'?!?!?!?

He nods. “Good—I wasn’t offering it. I’m just being tactical. Keeping my enemies close and my rivals closest.” I laugh. “Don’t you mean closer?” “No, that’s not what I mean.” Reaching across the table, he takes my fingers in his and lifts my hand to brush a light kiss over my knuckles. “I know exactly where I ought to keep you.” 🤭🤭🤭

“I’m not setting my sights on anyone. Theodora is the only one worthy of my desire. I couldn’t set my sights on anybody else if I tried. She and I are fated somehow. Anything else would be doomed by principle.” ICH LIEBE IHN SOOOOOOOO

Zachary’s words brush against my lips, more intimate than any kiss. “My beautiful nemesis. My formidable adversary. My dearest rival.” Kiss me, I want to tell him. Kiss me open, Zachary Blackwood, and take all my darkness and cold and pain away. 😭😭😭😭🫶🏼

“Why?” “Because catching anybody else wouldn’t feel worth it.” He smiles suddenly, a flash of white teeth. “My victories only ever taste like victories when they’re won against you, Theodora.” 😫😫😫

I want to tell him to go get Theodora. I want to see her. I need to see her. I want to tell Mr Ambrose how worried I am—that I’ll never be able to keep her, that she’s too good and too strong. I want to admit the truth to him, that I failed the sacred duty he gave me, that I never really helped her at all when she first arrived in Spearcrest, that I’ve never truly been able to help her. 🫠🫠🫠

I’m too young to die, and I have so much left to do, to see, to learn. I’ve still not deciphered the mystery of Theodora. I can’t die without knowing all her secrets, without having the shape of her heart and soul imprinted within me, without holding her close even once. 🥺

“No. You’re the only girl I intended to ask. There’s nobody else I wish to go with, and therefore I won’t ask anybody else.” 😻😻😻😻😻

“I’m always desperate for a compliment from you, Theodora.” His smile is easy and guileful. “They are the rarest of treasures. How could I not want to collect them?” 😫😫😫🫠🫠🫠🫠

You’re welcome, and you’ll always be, I want to say. I’ll pick up every highlighter and pen you drop. I’ll hold every door open and carry all your books. Just ask me, Theodora, and I’ll do it. Mr Ambrose asked me to look after you—let me. 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

"You asked me whether I still believe in God. I feel like God’s presence waxes and wanes in our lives, but yes, I do believe He or She exists. The times we feel more distanced from God are the times when we’re suffering or in pain. Despite the lack of strength during those times, God makes us work our way back to Him again. Then He rewards us for our faith and perseverance." 🤲

BROOO 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS BOOK WILL DEFINITELY BREAK MY HEART

“Fuck, woman.” He pulled me in to kiss me deeply—just to shut me up, I think. Still, I sighed into his mouth, heat washing to my toes. I went in for more, but he pulled back and skimmed his lips across mine. “Ya lyublyu tebya. Tak sil’no chto ne mogu dumat’ kogda ty daleko ot menya.” I love you. So much I can’t think when you’re away from me. 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

“Then let me make it clear for you,” he said, the shadows in his eyes flashing. “You would survive without me. You would move on.” His tone roughened. “I can’t imagine a world where you and all your fucking yellow doesn’t exist. So if you die, you’ll take me with you. Your sacrifice would mean nothing, kotyonok. NOTHING.” 😫😫😫😫😫😫

my babies 🥺

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

Und sie entschuldigt sich, statt dass ER sich für SEIN EIGENES GOTTVERDAMMTES MISTVERHALTEN ENTSCHULDIGT OMG SO EIN WIIICIHSHHEERRRRR WIE TOXISCH????????????