jules ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ > Recent Status Updates

“Many times, I would invent a person in my head and create our chemistry as if writing a screenplay, and by the time we'd meet again in real life, I'd be crushingly let down. It was as if, when things didn't go as I imagined, I'd assumed he would have been given a copy of the script I'd written and I'd feel frustrated that his agent obviously forgot to courier it to him to memorize.”

“Perhaps it was because this was the only way I had learned to get to know someone, with a distance in between us, with enough space for me to curate and filter the best version of myself possible.”

“I am always half in life, half in a fantastical version of it in my head.”

maybe tomorrow i’ll finish this for real 🫩

“She knew his laughter from across the hall. She would have known it from the other end of the world.”

“Peter had a talent for making you feel like this, like he was the only one in the world who understood you, and you him. Like you two existed on a plane of your own. Then the next morning he would act like a complete stranger. As if you had never spoken at all. She had been through this whiplash many times before. She knew better by now.”

“And back then all she wanted, with every fiber of her being, was for people to remember she was his echo.”

“She wondered if this was the consequence of winning every lottery of birth. You refused to think things could go wrong because they had only ever gone right.”

“How unfair this was, she thought. As if she had never seen him asleep. As if she had not curled in next to him many times, their breathing deep in matching rhythm, both of them murmuring about stars and numbers until their conjectures bled over into dreams. It used to be so easy. Yet here they were, negotiating space like strangers.”

“She knew this choice would horrify anyone outside the academy. But no one outside the academy could possibly understand. She would sacrifice her firstborn for a professorial post. She would sever a limb. She would give anything, so long as she still had her mind, so long as she could still think.”

my 6th kuang 💘

and if i finished this today?

finally bought the physical book after starting it on ebook months ago :)))

might finish this todayyy

do u guys have letterboxd? i need more moots 🥹 (julya4ever, i fback !!))