Morphing Erebus > Recent Status Updates

Jasper’s brow furrows. “Love letters? I never sent any love letters.”
He’s still lying.
“Jasper, I saw them with my own eyes.” I yank my wrist out of his grasp, and the fact that I didn’t sooner has me kicking myself. Where is my brain?
“But I haven’t even told you my side—”
“Stop talking, Jasper!”

We're only halfway through, miscommunication needs to last until the second to last page.

“I’m a bit busy.”
I continue down the hallway.
He follows. “Too busy for Dix?”
“What’d you just say to me?”
“Dixon. The dining hall.”

I mean, they are roommates.

“Then what in heavens are you doing?” Colonel Fitzwilliam asked with keen interest and concern evident in his deep voice.
“It is simple, Cousin. In my heart and in my soul, she is already my wife. I am merely waiting patiently until she realizes it.”

Ok, but did anyone tell her?

“Indeed, I had resolved upon entering the library earlier that I would not be having intercourse of any kind with you. You looked so contented reading your book. I dared not interrupt you.”

The fun part? They did make out right after. 😂

'Get your hands off my wife.'

Heroic husband to the rescue.

She picked up one of the prickly pears, gripping it a little tightly to gauge its ripeness.

And she didn't get stabbed? They're called prickly for a reason. 😂

'Why won't you look at it?' I said.
'What are you trying to do to me?'
'I just want you to understand. Please read it.'
She snatched up the page, crumpled it in her hand and threw it across the room. 'I can't read blank paper!'
[..]Realizing at last that she could not make the necessary imaginative leap...

You mean read your fictional biography in a blank sheet? Gee, I wonder why.

..then to achieve total truth I must create total falsehood. My manuscript had to become a metaphor for myself.
I created an imaginary place and an imaginary life.

Man discovers fiction.

Faith had always told herself that she was not like other ladies. But neither, it seemed, were other ladies.

No girl is like the other girls.

A Tree that could give you secrets nobody else possessed, and unpeeled the mysteries of the world. A Tree that could show governments their enemies' plans, scientists the secrets of the ages, journalists the vices of the powerful. It was not just scientifically fascinating. It was valuable. Powerful. Priceless.

It took her 300 pages to figure that out??

He of course knows what Li Yanqiu means — Li Yanqiu has already figured out that he’s the one who killed Li Jianhong. Of all the mistakes he could have made, he should never have tried to assassinate Li Yanqiu; he really has been too confident about Chang Liujun, Wu Du, and Wang Shan.

Turns out if you try to assassinate the Emperor and fail, bad things may happen to you. Who'd have thought.

“The imperial court is layer up layer of red tape — you write them an official document now, and it’ll get stuck in the Ministry of Revenue. Even if you wait until autumn, it still won’t be approved, and even if the allotted seeds do come they’ll be of inferior quality. Tell you what, if the Ministry of Revenue does manage to send us seeds on time, I’ll eat them right in front of your face.”

Love bureaucracy.

There’s a slight trembling to Lang Junxia’s breathing, so much so that the tip of his sword is trembling with it.
[..]With a flip, Zheng Yan leaps onto the wall inside the alley and sits down with a leg dangling off the edge.
“Zheng Yan?” Chang Liujun sounds surprised.
Wu Du grins — this is clearly all a part of his plan.

These four assassins need to stop meeting like this.

“Even if Cai Yan’s seized my position, I must return to the central plains. This is the only path I can take.”
“You’re the heir to Southern Chen.” After listening to the entire story, not only is Yelü Zongzhen not at all surprised, it’s actually with a smile that he says to Duan Ling, “That’s what you should be doing.”

I like that all the foreign princes and emperors know who the real heir is apart from Chen.

Duan Ling sticks his head out the window to have a peek. “The city’s on fire.”
“Yup,” Chang Liujun turns over and proceeds to sleep some more.

Just another Tuesday.

'I was about to call you. Do you have any paprika? I thought I'd try making a tagine.'
'What? Ash, don't be ridiculous. you're not a tagine-level chef.'
'You know that most parents tell their kids that they can be whatever they want to be, right?'

Motivational AI mom flipped the script on this one.

I look down at my cropped white sweatshirt, green Lululemon leggings and brand new white and red trainers.
'This isn't okay to walk in?'
[..]'There's mud around these parts and you're wearing a lot of bright white.'
[1 page later]'Bollocks,' I huff at the loud squelch beneath my step, lifting my foot and groaning at the mud covering my shoe..

English countryside? You have no excuse.

'This is the perfect time to get away.'
'Yeah, because I'm dumped and unemployed,' I mutter gloomily.
'You're free,' Mum counters, 'to do whatever the hell you want.'

Her mom sounding like one of those motivational AIs here. 😂 It's not tax evasion, it's financial freedom!

His laugh is gravelly against my ear, the sound sending every bit as much of a thrill through me as his careful touch.
I move against him and he slides his hand down me more fully. Voices move toward us from around the corner, and he steps back abruptly, smoothing my skirt down my thighs again.

Not me counting the adverbs.

He ran two of his father’s papers into the ground, then bought them out from under him, and still the two men sat across the dinner table from each other in silence..

Ah, family.

...Sam fished out his phone and dialled 999 to report the assault in progress at Hades Hall.
'Hmm,' he said, hanging up. 'The officer seemed extraordinarily unbothered.'
'Give it five minutes, then report a murder.'
Sam's eyes popped.

Whatever gets the job done.

'You're saying we've had some kind of on-going relationship with this Ministry of Magic or whatever it is?'

Ye're a wizard, Rosie.

'And the plot, do you remember anything about that?'
'Sure,' I said, reluctantly banishing the vision of Indy and his whip, 'they were after the Arc de Triomphe. No, no, I mean the Ark of the Covenant. I always get those two mixed up.'

Understandable.

'It wasn't a fair fight,' I said. Never had been.
'Yep, well,' said Sam, 'society has never liked women who were too loud, too confident or too angry.'

Preach.

'Five figures?' I hedged my bets.
'I'd say close to it,' he said.
Oh my God. Even split two ways, that would keep me in Brazilians (on my head hair, that is) for a good few months.

4000 pounds will keep you a few months? In England? Which year was this written again?

"It's awfully convenient that you're suddenly interested in us once we're all adults, once we no longer need anything from you."
"I told you that's not-"
"I said I wasn't done."
"Nina, I am your-"
"You are fucking nothing."

👏 Slay, queen!

"Listen, I'm not sure... I mean, if you're looking for family, there might be better ones to pick."
Casey turned to Nina and smiled gently. "That's not exactly how family works, is it?"
"No," Nina said, shaking her head. "No, I guess it's not."

If only.

"What I need from you?" Jay said. "What I need from you is to stop sleeping with my ex-girlfriend!"
"No," Hud said, shaking his head. "My answer is no."

Felt the need to point out, emphasis on the 'ex' part here.

"Kit," Brandon said, bowing his head ever so slightly. "Nice to meet you."
"Charmed, I'm sure," Kit said, amusing herself.
Brandon smiled, fully aware that Kit was making fun of him. He turned to Nina. "Marry me," he said, with a smile.

Jumping the shark, are we?

Too much self-efficiency was sort of mean to the people who loved you, Kit thought. You robbed them of how good it feels to give, of their sense of value.