Morphing Erebus > Recent Status Updates

“Look, I haven’t managed to catch a break in half a year. First it was the Reincarnation Dial, then the Mountain-River Awl, and now there’s a Merit Brush. If another one shows up, they can form the four winds in a mahjong set: North, South, East, and West.

Kong!

...the Magistrate neither wanted nor dared to offend such a great god. For another thing, the Guardian was audacious, slippery, and sneaky, and had only ever mastered three talents: shamelessness, leading people in circles, and evasion, any of which was more than enough to keep anyone busy for a while.

He needs all three to deal with people like this Magistrate.

...until his mother added, “If he’s as great as you say, how could he fall for you? Can he see a thing with those glasses?”

The burn. 😂

...would be back a little later to pick Daqing up, so the cat had decided to pass his time in front of the computer. He logged into the “Lord Meow Number One in the World” account and started idly taking selfies with the webcam and uploading them.

As he should! Lord Meow Number One in the World!!!

“I’ll figure out a way to fix your eyes.”
As though something had just occurred to him, Zhao Yunlan gave a sudden smile and said, “Actually, there’s no rush.[..]Not being able to see is awfully inconvenient. Can you help me shower tonight?”

😏

“I accept,” Shen Wei said quietly.
Zhao Yunlan froze for a second, but Shen Wei smiled, sounding almost calm as he repeated, “I accept. In this lifetime, whether dead or alive, I won’t let you go again. Even if one day you’ve had enough or tire of me, even if you want to leave me, I’ll never let you go.”

Yandere husband unlocked, congratulations!

..Zhao Yunlan had always yearned for a certain kind of life: a life two people shared companionably, where they could even enjoy silence together. Neither would find the other annoying or hound them or try to pick fights. They would make space for one another, but there would always be warmth between them. Like they had always lived together, existing in their own private world, needing nothing but each other.

The mask’s eyebrows suddenly turned downward, morphing into an expression that looked like it was torn between crying and laughter.

Did White No-Face transmigrate from heaven official's blessing to this book?!

“If someone was willing to follow me to the ends of the earth, if they took care of me and understood me and my needs, but I didn’t even have the heart to protect them? What the fuck would I even be? Would I even deserve to be called human?”

Exactly.

First the Reincarnation Dial, now the Mountain-River Awl… The Four Hallowed Artifacts had been lost in the Mortal Realm for years on end. It wasn’t like they were cabbages in the market going for twenty cents a pound. And just coincidentally encountering two of them within six months…?

Buy one get one free!

To Guo Changcheng, he said, “Did you pass your firearm qualification exam?”
Guo Changcheng looked at the ground, ashamed. “The examiner said he wouldn’t pass me unless he died and came back to life.”

They're cooked.

When a life-sized blowup doll was delivered to 4 Bright Avenue, the courier hadn’t even gotten out of earshot before Zhao Yunlan roared in fury.
“Guo Changcheng, is that a head or a chamber pot on your neck?!”

I'm wheezing 🤣🤣

Not a single cockroach could have survived in that pristine kitchen. It was practically a showroom model.

Fs in chat for the poor cockroaches.

Zhao Yunlan peeled off his jacket and pants with no further hesitation, leaving him lounging casually in front of Shen Wei in pajamas that revealed most of his chest and chiseled abs. Shen Wei’s face changed color as if it had been boiled.
Unabashed, Zhao Yunlan said, “You’re the one who told me to strip.”

Actions, meet consequences.

Zhao Yunlan couldn’t help but sneeze a few times.
Shen Wei immediately stopped. “Officer Zhao, do you have a cold?”
[..]Rubbing his nose, Zhao Yunlan said, “No, no. It’s just that I took one step into this hall and smelled the miserable scent of math homework. Allergies, you know?”

Relatable.

Thankfully, having only fallen from the second floor, Guo Changcheng was fine, if a bit shaken.

Only shaken? He should have at least a broken bone.

Lang Ying slowly rolled over and sat up. “Don’t be scared.”
His words weren’t directed at Xie Lian but to the thing attached to his body.
There were two distinct faces growing on Lang Ying’s chest like protruding tumors.[..]The smaller face was slightly scrunched up like a baby’s. The halting cries had been coming from the “baby’s” mouth.
Human Face Disease!

Open your mind, Wade.

“This chicken…died a tragic death,” Xie Lian said under his breath.
Feng Xin’s lips trembled. “Your Highness, you didn’t see right. There’s no chicken in this.”
Xie Lian was flummoxed. “…Then what’s that thing floating in there that looks like a dead chicken?”
“I think it’s thick soup…but the shape is a little off,” Feng Xin replied.

Now we know who he inherited his terrible cooking skills from.

“Wait! Everything else aside, San Lang, your… Have you stored your ashes somewhere safe?”
“A long time ago,” Hua Cheng replied.
[..]Hua Cheng smiled cheerfully. “If their hiding place is destroyed, then there’s no need for me to exist either. Of course I’m sure.”

Are they somehow inside Xie Lian??

“It’s quite useful,” Xie Lian said. “It’s a red string tied on both our hands that invisibly connects the two of us, and one can use it to find the other. It will never break as long as one of us is still breathing—”
[..]“How is that any different from a red string of fate?! It’s exactly the same thing!”
Xie Lian was taken aback. “No, I don’t think so… It’s different!”

It's totally different.

"Wuhuan, would you let me have some time to cry?"
"Of course. I'll stay with you. I'll always stay with you."
"Wuhuan, aren't I ridiculous?"
"No. And you'll never be."

🥹

"You want to kill me even if you stand to lose everything? I never thought you could love Zunzhu this deeply, to the point of losing yourself.[..]If that's the case..." Yue Wuhuan continued, his voice harsh. "Why did you kill him on Golden Phoenix Mountain?!"

DUN DUN DUNNN!!!

"Don't be afraid. I'm here." Song Qingshi stroked his hair, murmuring over and over, "Don't be afraid. I'll never give up on you..."
Don't be afraid, said the butterfly. Decide what I eat. Take me anywhere. Keep me by your side. I'll do whatever you want.
It saw the spider's web and flew in willingly.

It's true love.

"Anyway, if you like it, I'll make it every day. No, not every day. Sometimes I have to conduct experiments. But I'll make it for you whenever I can."

Not the 'I'll cook it for you every day' line 😭

"I want to give you everything," he said, and let out a noise that Song Qingshi couldn't decipher. He could not speak the other words.
The first gift is my body.
The second, my soul.
The third is my heart...
I'm yours, forever.

I'm not crying. 😭

The system had sent Song Qingshi to complete a task, but at some point, he'd stopped thinking of this world as fiction. He treated Yue Wuhuan well by instinct, like it was carved into his bones. He wanted to give him the world, to see him happy, to know that he'd forgotten pain.

🥹

After a titanic struggle, he produced a plate of round rice cakes that could have doubled as charcoal briquettes, uniform in size, shape, and color. They looked identical down to the ember, enough to please any perfectionist.

New poison unlocked.

"If your teacher tried that many medicines... is he still alive and well?"
"He's in another world, now," Song Qingshi answered truthfully.
"Z-Zunzhu, please let me try your medicines in the future," Yue Wuhuan said. His face had gone pale.

Gave the poor thing such a scare.

Song Qingshi gently tucked the blankets around Yue Wuhuan and smoothed a few stray hairs from his face.
"I will fix you," Song Qingshi vowed in a quiet voice.

"I can fix him" except it's real.

Tens of thousands of fish had washed ashore and lay dying in the shallows. He couldn't save all of them. He could carry only a single fish to sea, returning it to freedom. So why bother?
"Because it matters to that fish."

My heart 🥺