Morphing Erebus > Recent Status Updates

“Umm.” Xie Lian coughed. “Does anyone have anything to eat?”
No one responded. Banyue took out a pot.
“I’m sorry, but I only have this…”
The moment that Pei Ming saw it was the pot of Toppled Phoenixes, he yelled, “Why are you still holding on to that thing?! Who are you trying to kill? Throw it out, now!”

Save it for your enemies.

Blossoms fell like blood; blood danced like petals on the wind. His face was as spirited and handsome as the first time they met, and his eye was bright and lively. He languidly sheathed that long, slender silver scimitar and spoke with a deep voice.
“Your Highness, I’m back.”

Dashing husband to the rescue! 💖

“Your Highness? Your Highness, do you have an antidote or something? You can’t just kill someone and not bury the body. And you!” Pei Ming admonished Banyue. “Is this how you cooked for him? What’s with this snake? It’s still moving even after it was cooked for so long—is it a spirit now?!”

Told you!

“Fighting and killing things all day! Never mind not bothering to paint your face—how come you don’t even know how to cook?”
Xie Lian and Banyue were both speechless. [..]
“Put it down, Banyue. I’ll teach you,” Xie Lian said.

Oh no.

“He might spit in the cup of someone he doesn’t like, but he would never poison the water,” Xie Lian continued.
“…”
“Really? That’s still gross, though,” Hua Cheng commented indifferently.
Veins were popping on Fu Yao’s forehead. “No! He would never spit either!”
“Laxatives, then,” Xie Lian said.

Really endearing him to us.

“Those whatchamacallits—those Incorruptible Chastity Pellets really are tenacious poison. I’ve only gotten through twenty-something cups; how long will it take before I reach eighty-one?”
Xie Lian was speechless; he hadn’t imagined that those monks and cultivators would be so gullible. He’d told them to drink eighty-one cups of water, and so they really planned on drinking exactly eighty-one cups of water.

lol

“Stop right there—!”
When he looked back, he saw the mob charging out of the clothing store.
I have to wonder what’s going through the heads of people who yell “stop right there.” It’s obvious the one they’re yelling at won’t stop. They’ll just hold their breath and run faster! Xie Lian thought, and he put those very thoughts into action, dashing away all the quicker.

Duh

..he scooped some foam up and piled it on top of Bai Jinyi’s head.
Bai Jinyi looked up, and Jiang Shen spread some foam on his brows.
[..]Jiang Shen sighed. “Like this, you’ve become an old man.”
Bai Jinyi did not speak, but piled some bubbles up on top of Jiang Shen’s head as well.
“Together.” Bai Jinyi turned his head, pressing a kiss to Jiang Shen’s lips. “We’ll grow old with each other.”

😭

“I don’t know how you, a ballet dancer, could like a boxer! It’s so vulgar!”
Jiang Shen was now aware that this senior of his was someone with a vicious tongue but soft heart. He did not get angry with Liu Xingzhi, only refuting deliberately, “Shixiong, you’re the vulgar one, you only like Mr. Pu’s money.”

👏

“Bai Jinyi.” Jiang Shen’s voice was slightly husky as he maintained his kneeling posture, his words soft and trembling, “I love dancing, just like how I love this rich, fertile earth, the joy of harvest, the drizzle in the mountains, and my friends and family.”
“But I love you even more.” He swallowed, each word clear and direct. “My soul is forever unable to be free, because it belongs to you.”

😭

“It’s only a confession. If you’re a man, you can’t be afraid. So what if you fail? There are plenty of other fish in the sea!”
“That’s different. I only like one person, and it’s him.” Jiang Shen pouted at Liu Xingzhi. “Shixiong, you only like money. That’s too vulgar.”
Liu Xingzhi was speechless.

K.O.

“What happened to your face?!” Jiang Shen raised his voice for once. His words resounded in the interior of the car, “Who hit you?!!”

Who hit you moment, but he asks this to the boxer 😂

However, he was rather disdainful of his feet. “They’re just really ugly.”
Bai Jinyi did not respond, only putting his shoes on for him.
“My hands don’t look good either.” Bai Jinyi showed him the backs of his hands. “See? They’re full of scars, the kind that will never disappear.”
“So, Little Swan, it’s okay to be ugly.” Bai Jinyi looked at him, breaking into a smile. “Let’s be ugly together.”
😭

“How is Bai’er?”
Bai’er was the chicken Bai Jinyi was raising. [..]
Bai Jinyi didn’t seem to be very happy. “It’s too fat. I’ve clearly been watching it closely, feeding it on time and in exact amounts. I don’t know if my parents have been feeding it other things when I’m not around. For the past two months, I’ve been forcing it to take walks around the yard.”

Poor chicken 😂

“Little Swan!” He waved at him. “What are you eating?”
Taken aback, Jiang Shen wondered if none of them were being fed enough. Why was this always the first thing they asked?

Food thieves, the lot of them.

“THAT’S RIGHT, it’s your lips!”
Heaven’s Eye proclaimed this with complete certainty, but the monks and cultivators were perplexed.
“Why his lips?”
“How can ghost qi be only on the lips? Is it a Lip Balm Spirit?”


LOL lip balm spirit 🤣

Quan Yizhen watched with wide eyes as the bandaged boy next to him ate several of the abnormally glistening meatballs[..]. After some thought, he seemed to be persuaded and reached for his own meatball. Xie Lian maintained his smile. He smiled and watched Quan Yizhen swallow. He smiled as Quan Yizhen’s face turned pale. He smiled as Quan Yizhen crumpled to the floor.

New poison unlocked. 🤣

This altar was originally a place to worship the divine, but presented there this evening instead was a ghost and a god entangled in a fervent, inseparable embrace, their tongues entwined. It was absurd and strange, and yet a sight of breathtaking loveliness.

Sheer poetry.

“A martial god! Perfect timing! Quick, use your martial god ways to take care of this!”
“...”
Maybe now everyone will understand the benefits of having a martial god around? Xie Lian thought. He approached wordlessly and unleashed a kick, which nearly cracked the lock in two.
Another kick, and the prison gates opened.

THAT'S how you do it!

He looked back at Hua Cheng. Still unconscious.
In the end, he made up his mind. Gritting his teeth, he whispered a simple phrase.
“…I apologize in advance.”
His voice was practically shaking as he said it. He clapped his hands together in silent prayer and then bent down. With his eyes shut tight, he pressed his lips against Hua Cheng’s.
Hua Cheng’s eyes snapped open.

Perfect timing!

Hua Cheng’s lips curled, but the curve soon disappeared.
“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “Watching your beloved be trampled and ridiculed with your own eyes and being unable to do a thing about it. You understand that you are nothing, that you can do nothing. That’s the worst suffering in the world.”

😭 Poor baby

That's when the rat appeared. Out of nowhere, a scrawny brown rat materialized on the side bench, nervous and breathless.
Richard Parker looked as astonished as I was.

Surprised pikachu moment (also, there's always one)

How I had failed to notice for two and a half days a 450-pound Bengal tiger in a lifeboat twenty-six feet long was a conundrum I would have to try to crack later, when I had more energy.

Should've gone to Specsavers.

It was inconceivable that the Tsimtsum should sink without eliciting a peep of concern. Right now in Tokyo, in Panama City, in Madras, in Honolulu, why, even in Winnipeg, red lights were blinking on consoles, alarm bells were ringing, eyes were opening wide in horror, mouths were gasping, "My God! The Tsimtsum has sunk!" and hands were reaching for phones.

He's an optimist.

I had a wet, trembling, half-drowned, heaving and coughing three-year-old adult Bengal tiger in my lifeboat. Richard Parker rose unsteadily to his feet on the tarpaulin, eyes blazing as they met mine, ears laid tight to his head, all weapons drawn. His head was the size and colour of the lifebuoy, with teeth.
I turned around, stepped over the zebra and threw myself overboard.

That's the first logical reaction

I told him I like spicy food. I don't know why I said such a stupid thing. It's a complete lie.[..]my taste buds shrivel up and die, my skin goes beet red, my eyes well up with tears, my head feels like a house on fire, and my digestive tract starts to twist and groan in agony like a boa constrictor that has swallowed a lawn mower.

My dude, you don't just lie to an Indian about liking spicy food. 🤣

“He’s possessing someone and won’t come out. The man is still alive, so if we forcibly rip out Qi Rong’s soul, the flesh won’t survive. Honestly…does San Lang have any idea what we can do?”
“Hm? You want ideas on how to make him suffer a fate worse than death?” Hua Cheng asked. “There’s plenty of options.”

Husband's being very helpful. 😂

His lips, too, were securely sealed. The kiss deepened, and with it, a breath of cool, gentle air was transferred into his mouth. Completely helpless and at a loss, just as Xie Lian began to accept his fate, he finally saw the person’s face clearly. It was Hua Cheng.
[..]Ghosts don’t need to breathe, but he can still transfer air to me?! Don’t ghosts sink in the water?

Husband to the rescue!!!

Before Little Pei, there used to be another Deputy God at the Palace of Ming Guang, and he was also a descendant who was first appointed as general, then ascended.”
Xie Lian was amazed. “General Pei sure has many talented descendants.”
Not just anyone could turn the art of ascension into an inherited family business.

He turned it into a pipeline.

I saved people and protected people because they were innocent and didn’t deserve death. Everything I’ve done was only done after serious consideration, and every choice was made after much struggle. Yet why does it all sound so laughable coming from another’s mouth? Why does it sound like I’ve achieved nothing

If everything's predestined, there's no need to exist. If there is free will, let it be free will.