Ask the Author: Jan St. Marcus
Answered Questions (11)
Jan St. Marcus
Hi Linda,
So glad you enjoyed DAMAGED HEARTS!
Michelangelo is a bit of an enigma, even to me. When I first sat down to write the book, I was really just writing about the homeless vet, Bran. When he was getting harassed by those frat boys, I thought he was just going to walk away with another "fml" and find someplace to sleep. Then, in my head, I heard someone talking to the frat boys. I honestly had no idea what was going on. Michelangelo just kind of appeared from out of nowhere. Stuff like that happens when I'm in the "zone" in terms of writing.
Then when he does what he does, it came out of nowhere as well. I'm being completely honest when I say that I had no idea what that was or where it came from at the time. It wasn't until a few chapters later that I had to give an explanation. What I came up with is this: When Michelangelo and his brother Leo were young, they got teased and bullied a lot because they couldn't stand to be apart. Since he was older, Michelangelo assumed the role of "protector" and always took care of his (minutes) younger brother. As the teasing continued as they grew older, Michelangelo took Krav Maga classes so he could learn to defend himself and his brother.
But here's the thing: You can tell from Michelangelo's personality that he is NOT a mean guy. So in his head, he separated himself from the alter-ego because on his own, he couldn't possibly do the things necessary to defend himself in that violent manner. So you might call it a low-level form of schitzophrenia. It's only triggered when he gets angry. Kind of like the Incredible Hulk ("You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!")
Because he was in therapy (mainly for his anxiety and panic attacks, he is aware of it, but he can't really do anything about it.
I hope that answers your question. It was a good one. And by the way, I'm also not sure how Leo (Michelangelo's brother) died. I was going to try to find out, but it never really came up and in the end, I decided that it really didn't matter to the story. Nobody in the story ever asked him and he never talks about it--too painful I think, and he might be afraid that his "Red Friend" might pop up if he ever talks about it...
So glad you enjoyed DAMAGED HEARTS!
Michelangelo is a bit of an enigma, even to me. When I first sat down to write the book, I was really just writing about the homeless vet, Bran. When he was getting harassed by those frat boys, I thought he was just going to walk away with another "fml" and find someplace to sleep. Then, in my head, I heard someone talking to the frat boys. I honestly had no idea what was going on. Michelangelo just kind of appeared from out of nowhere. Stuff like that happens when I'm in the "zone" in terms of writing.
Then when he does what he does, it came out of nowhere as well. I'm being completely honest when I say that I had no idea what that was or where it came from at the time. It wasn't until a few chapters later that I had to give an explanation. What I came up with is this: When Michelangelo and his brother Leo were young, they got teased and bullied a lot because they couldn't stand to be apart. Since he was older, Michelangelo assumed the role of "protector" and always took care of his (minutes) younger brother. As the teasing continued as they grew older, Michelangelo took Krav Maga classes so he could learn to defend himself and his brother.
But here's the thing: You can tell from Michelangelo's personality that he is NOT a mean guy. So in his head, he separated himself from the alter-ego because on his own, he couldn't possibly do the things necessary to defend himself in that violent manner. So you might call it a low-level form of schitzophrenia. It's only triggered when he gets angry. Kind of like the Incredible Hulk ("You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!")
Because he was in therapy (mainly for his anxiety and panic attacks, he is aware of it, but he can't really do anything about it.
I hope that answers your question. It was a good one. And by the way, I'm also not sure how Leo (Michelangelo's brother) died. I was going to try to find out, but it never really came up and in the end, I decided that it really didn't matter to the story. Nobody in the story ever asked him and he never talks about it--too painful I think, and he might be afraid that his "Red Friend" might pop up if he ever talks about it...
Jan St. Marcus
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for your kind comments. I'm very glad you liked the book!
I recently lost my brother and that experience was forefront in my mind as I crafted the character of Michelangelo. He wasn't my twin, but it felt like it sometimes. He was my favorite person in the whole world. Funny story about that...A couple of years ago, I was visiting him in DC and I blurted out that he was my favorite person in the whole world. He looked at me like he was surprised. I just repeated it and he rushed over to me and gave me a big hug.
Anyway, when he passed, I realized that there was nobody in the whole world who knew me as well as he did--and nobody who I had known longer. We were best friends for his whole life and all but 2 years of mine...
As I was writing Damaged Hearts, those emotions were always on my mind when writing about Michelangelo. I came close to telling how Leo died a couple of times, but as you noted, "how" he died wasn't really part of the story (which is already pretty long) and in the end, I didn't see what would change if I included those details.
And here's the kicker: I really don't know how Leo died. I want to know. I really do, but I can't just make something up (well, technically I can--I am the author, you know?). But I don't want to make something up just to have an answer. On the bright side, I do have an idea, and it might find it's way into the next book in the series, but no promises at this point.
I hope that's not too disappointing an answer for you.
JAN
Thank you for your kind comments. I'm very glad you liked the book!
I recently lost my brother and that experience was forefront in my mind as I crafted the character of Michelangelo. He wasn't my twin, but it felt like it sometimes. He was my favorite person in the whole world. Funny story about that...A couple of years ago, I was visiting him in DC and I blurted out that he was my favorite person in the whole world. He looked at me like he was surprised. I just repeated it and he rushed over to me and gave me a big hug.
Anyway, when he passed, I realized that there was nobody in the whole world who knew me as well as he did--and nobody who I had known longer. We were best friends for his whole life and all but 2 years of mine...
As I was writing Damaged Hearts, those emotions were always on my mind when writing about Michelangelo. I came close to telling how Leo died a couple of times, but as you noted, "how" he died wasn't really part of the story (which is already pretty long) and in the end, I didn't see what would change if I included those details.
And here's the kicker: I really don't know how Leo died. I want to know. I really do, but I can't just make something up (well, technically I can--I am the author, you know?). But I don't want to make something up just to have an answer. On the bright side, I do have an idea, and it might find it's way into the next book in the series, but no promises at this point.
I hope that's not too disappointing an answer for you.
JAN
Jan St. Marcus
There is a new Jack Ryan novel coming out and there is also a new John Grisham book due out soon. I want to read both of those.
Jan St. Marcus
Haha. Nope. Horror is definitely NOT my thing. Sorry.
Jan St. Marcus
I hope this doesn't sound self-serving, but in my book, my characters fly to Hawaii in a Gulfstream Private Jet and spend a week at an amazing beachside mansion on the island of Oahu. That's where I would go. And I would bring family and friends with me and we'd surf, eat great food and just marvel at the beauty and majesty of the island lifestyle while spending the best kind of quality time together.
Jan St. Marcus
I always have anywhere from 2-4 projects going at any one time. If (when) I get stuck on one project, I simply pivot to another project. There is ALWAYS something I can be writing.
Jan St. Marcus
The best part of being a writer, for me, is the ability to touch other people and make them FEEL. I can make them feel happy, sad, thoughtful, depressed, excited and yes, even horny. There are few other professions where you can do that.
Jan St. Marcus
If you're an aspiring writer, the best advice I can give you is this: Write 3 projects before you go back to edit the first one. And write every day. Even if you only write a paragraph--write every single day.
Let me unpack the first bit of advice about writing 3 projects before you edit the first one: Unless you are that 1 in 1,000,000 writer that just writes pearls of genuine gold with every word, the first thing you write is probably going to be terrible. But finishing that project is going to feel like winning the lottery! So write it, finish it, and then put it away. The second project you write is going to be 1000 times better than the first, but since the first was so terrible, it's still probably not very good. But finishing it will feel like you've won the PowerBall jackpot--again. Celebrate finishing it and then put it aside. and start the third.
If you've done all of that, your third project is probably going to be well-written, well-thought-out and it might even be good. You've been writing every day, you've completed two projects and you will probably complete the third in less than half the time. You are now, officially, a writer. When you finish the third project, take a fresh look at the previous two and choose one to revise and edit. Chances are, the third one will be the best by far, but maybe the ideas in the first one are better. If you choose to revise and edit the first one, you'll be doing so as a skilled WRITER and the next draft will be about 10,000 better than you could have done if you had spent your time revising right after you finshed it.
Let me unpack the first bit of advice about writing 3 projects before you edit the first one: Unless you are that 1 in 1,000,000 writer that just writes pearls of genuine gold with every word, the first thing you write is probably going to be terrible. But finishing that project is going to feel like winning the lottery! So write it, finish it, and then put it away. The second project you write is going to be 1000 times better than the first, but since the first was so terrible, it's still probably not very good. But finishing it will feel like you've won the PowerBall jackpot--again. Celebrate finishing it and then put it aside. and start the third.
If you've done all of that, your third project is probably going to be well-written, well-thought-out and it might even be good. You've been writing every day, you've completed two projects and you will probably complete the third in less than half the time. You are now, officially, a writer. When you finish the third project, take a fresh look at the previous two and choose one to revise and edit. Chances are, the third one will be the best by far, but maybe the ideas in the first one are better. If you choose to revise and edit the first one, you'll be doing so as a skilled WRITER and the next draft will be about 10,000 better than you could have done if you had spent your time revising right after you finshed it.
Jan St. Marcus
My current project is Book 2 in The Boys of Venice Beach Series. The title (so far) is THE MUSE and it's about a photographer and a good-looking straight(?) guy he meets playing roller hockey.
Jan St. Marcus
Every new project I take on starts with a character. IRL (In Real Life), I'm kind of quiet and shy around strangers, but since I've always been a writer, I am a great observer. I notice little details that probably escape most people and I use these little snippets to create a character in my head. Some, like the homeless veteran in Venice Beach, stick with me. Then I create a complete backstory and wonder what this character would do if...
Jan St. Marcus
When I was living on the boardwalk in Venice Beach, I ran into a young, homeless veteran one night when I was moving. He had asked me for a cigarette and while I didn't have one to give him, I did have a bunch of clothes that I was going to donate to charity. I invited him up to my apartment, intending to give him some clothes and food. When I told him this, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. He took a shower, I fed him from some of the stuff I had left in my fridge and we talked. It turns out that he had actually received a Bronze Star in the Army and it bothered me a lot that he was homeless. I ended up giving him a bunch of my clothes and a new duffel bag before he thanked me and went on his way.
That encounter stayed with me. There was something about the way he carried himself--he wasn't angry or bitter or cynical about being homeless--just accepting. When I set out to write a book in the LGBT Romance genre, I decided to use that encounter as the jumping-off point.
That encounter stayed with me. There was something about the way he carried himself--he wasn't angry or bitter or cynical about being homeless--just accepting. When I set out to write a book in the LGBT Romance genre, I decided to use that encounter as the jumping-off point.
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