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Jan St. Marcus

Goodreads Author

Website

https://www.janstmarcus.com

Genre

Gay and Lesbian, Romance

Member Since

October 2019

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I found your book on Book Sirens yesterday and read it today. OMG it was incredible!!! I can't wait to see what else you publish! My only question is how did Leo die? Even though it had nothing to do with the story, as someone who lost a brother (not a twin) I was curious.

Jan St. Marcus Hi Lisa,

Thank you for your kind comments. I'm very glad you liked the book!

I recently lost my brother and that experience was forefront in my mind as …moreHi Lisa,

Thank you for your kind comments. I'm very glad you liked the book!

I recently lost my brother and that experience was forefront in my mind as I crafted the character of Michelangelo. He wasn't my twin, but it felt like it sometimes. He was my favorite person in the whole world. Funny story about that...A couple of years ago, I was visiting him in DC and I blurted out that he was my favorite person in the whole world. He looked at me like he was surprised. I just repeated it and he rushed over to me and gave me a big hug.

Anyway, when he passed, I realized that there was nobody in the whole world who knew me as well as he did--and nobody who I had known longer. We were best friends for his whole life and all but 2 years of mine...

As I was writing Damaged Hearts, those emotions were always on my mind when writing about Michelangelo. I came close to telling how Leo died a couple of times, but as you noted, "how" he died wasn't really part of the story (which is already pretty long) and in the end, I didn't see what would change if I included those details.

And here's the kicker: I really don't know how Leo died. I want to know. I really do, but I can't just make something up (well, technically I can--I am the author, you know?). But I don't want to make something up just to have an answer. On the bright side, I do have an idea, and it might find it's way into the next book in the series, but no promises at this point.

I hope that's not too disappointing an answer for you.

JAN(less)

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Just finished reading Damaged Hearts... Can you tell us the origins of Michaelangelo's alter ego...or more specifically, those skills? Much thanks...Oh, and I LOVED the book

Jan St. Marcus Hi Linda,

So glad you enjoyed DAMAGED HEARTS!

Michelangelo is a bit of an enigma, even to me. When I first sat down to write the book, I was really jus…moreHi Linda,

So glad you enjoyed DAMAGED HEARTS!

Michelangelo is a bit of an enigma, even to me. When I first sat down to write the book, I was really just writing about the homeless vet, Bran. When he was getting harassed by those frat boys, I thought he was just going to walk away with another "fml" and find someplace to sleep. Then, in my head, I heard someone talking to the frat boys. I honestly had no idea what was going on. Michelangelo just kind of appeared from out of nowhere. Stuff like that happens when I'm in the "zone" in terms of writing.

Then when he does what he does, it came out of nowhere as well. I'm being completely honest when I say that I had no idea what that was or where it came from at the time. It wasn't until a few chapters later that I had to give an explanation. What I came up with is this: When Michelangelo and his brother Leo were young, they got teased and bullied a lot because they couldn't stand to be apart. Since he was older, Michelangelo assumed the role of "protector" and always took care of his (minutes) younger brother. As the teasing continued as they grew older, Michelangelo took Krav Maga classes so he could learn to defend himself and his brother.

But here's the thing: You can tell from Michelangelo's personality that he is NOT a mean guy. So in his head, he separated himself from the alter-ego because on his own, he couldn't possibly do the things necessary to defend himself in that violent manner. So you might call it a low-level form of schitzophrenia. It's only triggered when he gets angry. Kind of like the Incredible Hulk ("You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!")

Because he was in therapy (mainly for his anxiety and panic attacks, he is aware of it, but he can't really do anything about it.

I hope that answers your question. It was a good one. And by the way, I'm also not sure how Leo (Michelangelo's brother) died. I was going to try to find out, but it never really came up and in the end, I decided that it really didn't matter to the story. Nobody in the story ever asked him and he never talks about it--too painful I think, and he might be afraid that his "Red Friend" might pop up if he ever talks about it...(less)

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