Ask the Author: Meryn G. Callander
Answered Questions (1)
Meryn G. Callander
Where did you get the idea for your current book?
Two or three years prior to writing this book, the word infidelity was not in my vocabulary. I had lived in a world where “no one I knew,” had an affair. Then, one day, it seemed my world turned upside down. Suddenly, in a state of shock myself, I was hearing from women who had been betrayed—and women who have, themselves, betrayed.
It was as if a door had opened into a whole new world I had been oblivious to—the devastation, indeed trauma, that a woman experiences on finding her partner has cheated on her. I discovered that many women carry remnants—albeit unconsciously— of this trauma in their body and psyche even years later. I discovered how deeply her partner’s betrayal impacts not only her, but also her children.
Seeing how deep infidelity cuts, and how the pain ripples out to touch our families and communities, I felt deeply concerned that infidelity has become an accepted way to exit or to challenge a committed relationship, or simply to “get a bit on the side.” And deeply concerned that every act of infidelity normalizes and legitimizes another.
I believe that as is true for many authors, I don't get to choose what I write about, it chooses me. Whatever I write about is a reflection of what is showing up in my own life at the time. It is in part, my attempt to understand and make sense of my world—and my desire, my need, to share that understanding and encourage dialog around issues of current import and relevance.
Two or three years prior to writing this book, the word infidelity was not in my vocabulary. I had lived in a world where “no one I knew,” had an affair. Then, one day, it seemed my world turned upside down. Suddenly, in a state of shock myself, I was hearing from women who had been betrayed—and women who have, themselves, betrayed.
It was as if a door had opened into a whole new world I had been oblivious to—the devastation, indeed trauma, that a woman experiences on finding her partner has cheated on her. I discovered that many women carry remnants—albeit unconsciously— of this trauma in their body and psyche even years later. I discovered how deeply her partner’s betrayal impacts not only her, but also her children.
Seeing how deep infidelity cuts, and how the pain ripples out to touch our families and communities, I felt deeply concerned that infidelity has become an accepted way to exit or to challenge a committed relationship, or simply to “get a bit on the side.” And deeply concerned that every act of infidelity normalizes and legitimizes another.
I believe that as is true for many authors, I don't get to choose what I write about, it chooses me. Whatever I write about is a reflection of what is showing up in my own life at the time. It is in part, my attempt to understand and make sense of my world—and my desire, my need, to share that understanding and encourage dialog around issues of current import and relevance.
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