Maureen Johnson > Quotes

“Writing is one of the few careers for which you essentially train yourself, the other two major ones being juggling and pickpocketing.”
― Maureen Johnson

“Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake. Once I tasted it, though, it seemed just the right size.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow

“Fear can’t hurt you,” she said. “When it washes over you, give it no power. It’s a snake with no venom. Remember that. That knowledge can save you.”
― Maureen Johnson, The Name of the Star

“Claim whatever you want. Say you only want a happy family or a successful career or a big house. I say: no, that's not what you want. You'll settle for those things, but you really want a monkey that does your evil bidding. Pullman is a genius just for this.”
― Maureen Johnson, World of the Golden Compass: The Otherworldly Ride Continues [Paperback]

“I may have been a complete lunatic, but I was a complete lunatic with manners.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“One person's crazy is another person's sane, I guess.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“It's always easier to say good-bye when you know it's just a prelude to hello.”
― Maureen Johnson, The Last Little Blue Envelope

“You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.”
― Maureen Johnson, The Last Little Blue Envelope

“I decided to deflect her attitude by giving a long, Southern answer. I come from people who know how to draw things out. Annoy a Southerner, and we will drain away the moments of your life with our slow, detailed replies until you are nothing but a husk of your former self and that much closer to death.”
― Maureen Johnson, The Name of the Star

“Maybe you've never fallen into a frozen stream. Here's what happens.
1. It is cold. So cold that the Department of Temperature Acknowledgment and Regulation in you brain gets the readings and says, "I can't deal with this. I'm out of here." It puts up the OUT TO LUNCH sign and passes all responsibility to the...
2. Department of Pain and the Processing Thereof, which gets all this gobbledygook from the temperature department that it can't understand. "This is so not our job," it says. So it just starts hitting random buttons, filling you with strange and unpleasant sensations, and calls the...
3. Office of Confusion and Panic, where there is always someone ready to hop on the phone the moment it rings. This office is at least willing to take some action. The Office of Confusion and Panic loves hitting buttons.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“And if we get caught, I will claim I made you go. At gunpoint. I am American. People will assume I'm armed.”
― Maureen Johnson, The Name of the Star

“You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they're supposed to be.”
― Maureen Johnson, Truly, Devious

“Tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep fixes.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“Where her books were, she was. Get the books right and the rest will follow. Now she could address the rest of the room.”
― Maureen Johnson, Truly Devious

“Rule #1: You may bring only what fits in your backpack. Don’t try to fake it with a purse or a carry-on.

Rule #2: You may not bring guidebooks, phrase books, or any kind of foreign language aid. And no journals.

Rule #3: You cannot bring extra money or credit/debit cards, travelers’ checks, etc. I’ll take care of all that.

Rule #4: No electronic crutches. This means no laptop, no cell phone, no music, and no camera. You can’t call home or communicate with people in the U.S. by Internet or telephone. Postcards and letters are acceptable and encouraged.

That’s all you need to know for now. ”
― Maureen Johnson, 13 Little Blue Envelopes

“I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.”
― Maureen Johnson

“Keep calm and carry on.
Also, stay in and hide because the Ripper is coming.”
― Maureen Johnson, The Name of the Star

“I'm Keith," he said, "and you're . . . clearly mad, but what's your name?”
― Maureen Johnson, 13 Little Blue Envelopes

“Salt. Wound. Together at last.”
― Maureen Johnson, 13 Little Blue Envelopes

“Stuart must have sensed my despair from the way I began lightly banging my forehead on the table.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs.”
― Maureen Johnson, The Key to the Golden Firebird

“Look! A riddle! Time for fun!
Should we use a rope or gun?
Knives are sharp and gleam so pretty
Poison’s slow, which is a pity
Fire is festive, drowning’s slow
Hanging’s a ropy way to go
A broken head, a nasty fall
A car colliding with a wall
Bombs make a very jolly noise
Such ways to punish naughty boys!
What shall we use? We can’t decide.
Just like you cannot run or hide.
Ha ha.
Truly,
Devious”
― Maureen Johnson, Truly, Devious

“I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“Of course I worry too much,” Nate said. “But I’m usually right. The people who worry are always right. That’s how that works.”
― Maureen Johnson, Truly Devious

“There is nothing about a bad situation that fourteen hyper cheerleaders can't worsen.”
― Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

“All the money, all the power—none of it compares to a good book. A book gives you everything. It gives you a window into other souls, other worlds. The world is a door. Books are the key.”
― Maureen Johnson, The Vanishing Stair

“Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbors Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.”
― Maureen Johnson, The Name of the Star

“When you have enough power and money, you can dictate the meanings of words.”
― Maureen Johnson, Truly, Devious

“The English play hockey in any weather. Thunder, lightening, plague of locusts...nothing can stop the hockey. Do not fight the hockey, for the hockey will win.”
― Maureen Johnson

“She was standing in the airport of Copenhagen, staring at a doorway, trying to figure out if it was (a) a bathroom and (b) what kind of bathroom it was. The door merely said H.
Was she an H? Was H "hers"? It could just as easily be "his". Or "Helicopter Room: Not a Bathroom at All”
― Maureen Johnson, 13 Little Blue Envelopes