Matthew D. Heines > Quotes

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Christmas Eve" The last time three wise men were seen in the Middle East.”
― Matthew D. Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "The Pope and Congress" It looks as if confidence in the American voter to exorcise the demons in the Capitol has completely fallen through.”
― Matthew D. Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "New Year" For a kid, the ultimate source of confusion. They say it's a new year, but after the break, you realize you are still in the same class, with the same lousy people.”
― Matthew D. Heines

“Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Marshawn Lynch" Not really shy. Still extremely embarrassed he believed you can't be charged for beating up on large groups of people-as long as you are carrying a football.”
― Matthew D. Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Keystone Pipeline" Conveniently removes the need to speak figuratively about Congress stick a dagger into the heart of America.”
― Matthew D. Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Boxing Day" In the UK, the day after Christmas is named after the first activity that takes place between husband and wife after the Christmas receipts are added up.”
― Matthew D. Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: Do the aliens on the moon pull down their pants and 'earth' their friends for fun?”
― Matthew D. Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Forgiveness" Steroids for the Soul.”
― Matthew D. Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Being Poor" Of all the crimes committed in America, undoubtedly the most unforgivable.”
― Matthew Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: Another Bush in the White House-Yep they keep forgetting to grab the TV and silverware.”
― Matthew D. Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "The Nativity" The Son of God was born in a manger-not surprising, have you seen the prices of hotel rooms in Bethlehem? Oy Vay! Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah Peace!”
― Matthew D. Heines, Deceptions of the Ages: "Mormons" Freemasons and Extraterrestrials

“Wisdom of the Ages "Assault and Battery" Weather forecast for the St. Louis Rams next Sunday in Seattle.”
― Matthew Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Uppity" How Obama's new aggressive style is described below the Mason-Dixon line.”
― Matthew Heines