Andersen Prunty > Quotes

“People say they want to read about life but that's not what they want at all. They want a version of life. Don't you realize, someone else's version of someone else's life is still fiction? It's still a story. But it has no imagination. That's what you people have done. You've murdered imagination.”
― Andersen Prunty, The Driver's Guide to Hitting Pedestrians

“Even the silences seemed infused with a secret knowledge. We held hands as we walked around the moon and it felt right and it felt good. I had never felt anything like that before.”
― Andersen Prunty, Zerostrata

“And you walk or wheel to this place here when you feel sad? On your walks? Or wheels? This is a sad place. More sadder it could turn you.”
― Andersen Prunty, Zerostrata

“There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide.” -Albert Camus”
― Andersen Prunty, The Sorrow King

“The only thing I could figure was most people were so fucking self-righteous they liked to destroy others’ wills so they felt like their own petty lives had some sense of purpose.”
― Andersen Prunty, Fuckness

“You can make contact with people all day but it only seems fulfilling when it’s with someone you truly enjoy.”
― Andersen Prunty, Fuckness

“I called my philosophy the philosophy of fuckness. I first developed this philosophy when I realized I was the type of person who would go to just about any lengths necessary in order to avoid trouble and misery. That is, I just wanted to live life the way I wanted to live it without any interruptions or having to answer to anyone.”
― Andersen Prunty, Fuckness

“As you get older, the ability to change becomes a very rare thing. You’ll see.”
― Andersen Prunty, Sociopaths In Love

“You have to admire the human spirit—we’ll continue building things just so someone else can watch them fall.”
― Andersen Prunty, Hi I'm a Social Disease

“How much of our life is an act, anyway? You become a parent, you play a role. You act happy when you’re depressed. You act like you are enthused by some things that hold no interest for you whatsoever. But sometimes, through this acting, this repeatedly telling yourself you really do like something, some form of appreciation sprouts.”
― Andersen Prunty, The Beard

“If I had to sum up my philosophy of fuckness in a few words so I could cram it on a bumper sticker or t-shirt, those were the words I would have chosen: “Fuck it.”
― Andersen Prunty, Fuckness

“You know someone is mad when they cease caring about the retention of their bodily fluids.”
― Andersen Prunty, Fuckness

“  “Some people develop a love of something and that love is a lifelong love. Like, say, a scientist. He is on a quest for knowledge. He loves theories. He loves testing his theories. He loves this quest for knowledge. And maybe he is only a teacher or a professor but he still loves this knowledge, he loves what he does and he wants to share it with people. Sure, there are some days when he doesn’t want to get out of bed in the morning and go to the job but when he stands back and, and... puts it all into perspective... he realizes it’s not that bad at all. He likes what he does. On the other hand, you take a man who works in a factory. It’s unrealistic to think this man likes putting the same bolt in the same part or whatever for eight to twelve hours a day. He does it for a paycheck so he can support his family or his booze habit or whatever. But every day, when he goes to work, he has to put himself into something like a coma because he hates what he does so much. Do you follow me?”
― Andersen Prunty, The Beard

“Unchecked imagination is lunacy. Take someone with an imagination and they can think of almost anything. But do we really want our world polluted with everything? Think about it. Someone imagined the gun and then they coughed it into existence. If you guys had something like Brilliance, it would have taken that idea, absorbed it, and glowed brighter. Desire, that’s what Brilliance represents. The desire to do better. The desire to dream bigger. Nuclear weapons. There was another real winner you guys thought up.”
― Andersen Prunty, The Beard

“Everybody else seemed to know how to play this game. It was like they had their games all chosen for them. Those fucks seemed to have some cheat sheet built right into their brains that had all the rules and tips and clues to these games spelled out on them.”
― Andersen Prunty, Fuckness

“  A beard, I figured, was power. Grown properly, a beard was like a mask. The man beneath the beard looked out at a world with clarity but that same world could not necessarily see into him.”
― Andersen Prunty, The Beard

“I don’t know what the point of that would be. We can’t just declare war on people because we don’t understand what they do.” “That, my friend, is pinko commie bullshit. Exactly the type of thing I would expect to come out of your mouth.”
― Andersen Prunty, My Fake War

“I’ve already wrote a note to your teacher about that.” And she slapped the note down hard onto my chest, sending out those waves of pain. As she got closer to me I saw that some drool had worked its way out of her mouth, racing down one of her frownlines. That was her Drool of Fury. You know someone is mad when they cease caring about the retention of their bodily fluids.”
― Andersen Prunty, Fuckness

“I don’t know what the fuck that is. It ain’t music in my book. Sounds like listening to a TV test pattern through a box fan.”
― Andersen Prunty, The Driver's Guide to Hitting Pedestrians

“And he sat in the corner and laughed as the flames consumed everything, crawling over the sadness and crackling it with life.”
― Andersen Prunty, The Driver's Guide to Hitting Pedestrians

“  “If we’re meant to have the flame then we’ll have the flame. If we’re meant to find your father then we’ll find your father. It’s really as simple as that. We could have tried to hold onto the flame. We could have jumped in the river after it. But what would happen then? We would have had to chase it and our only purpose is to find your father. The more you chase something, the farther away it gets.”
― Andersen Prunty, The Beard

“Everyone has problems. Everyone has a shitty life. But people who embrace that and do something with the misery are seen as the abnormal ones. And the people who apply normalcy like a camouflage suit are seen as the normal ones.”
― Andersen Prunty, Bury The Children in the Yard

“Maybe I just confused hope with self-delusion.”
― Andersen Prunty, The Driver's Guide to Hitting Pedestrians

“They reached the Tabernacle. It looked like it had been converted from a one room schoolhouse. “It used to be a one room schoolhouse,” Mindy said. The”
― Andersen Prunty, Satanic Summer

“The anxiety would take hold and my mind would go to dark places. The literal definition of 'anxiety' is probably 'the state of being anxious.' I would define it as simply exploring the worst-case scenario of any given situation. I was an expert at that. That was one thing I had never failed at.”
― Andersen Prunty, Failure As a Way of Life

“I’ve often thought family can be the source for more sorrow than one can find anywhere else.”
― Andersen Prunty, The Beard

“He’d finished watching Blossom and gone to bed.”
― Andersen Prunty, Creep House

“Regardless, whether I was born to play the game or not, I refused.”
― Andersen Prunty, Fuckness

“So what if she made him do things like clean out the refrigerator and burn Ma in the yard?”
― Andersen Prunty, We Don't Talk About Her

“Talking to people whose lives were more depressing than yours when you were already depressed made things even worse.”
― Andersen Prunty, Squirm With Me