Martha N. Beck > Quotes

“The way that other people judge me is none of my business.”
― Martha Beck

“Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but the rhythm of emotional pain that we learn to tolerate is natural, constructive and expansive... The pain leaves you healthier than it found you.”
― Martha Beck

“Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.”
― Martha Beck

“Imagine what you'd do if it absolutely didn't matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.”
― Martha Beck

“Bad artists ignore the darkness of human existence. Good artists often get stuck there. Great artists embrace the full catastrophe of our condition and find beyond it an even deeper truth of peace, healing, and redemption.”
― Martha N. Beck

“Learning to let go of expectations is a ticket to peace. It allows us to ride over every crisis—small or large, brother-in-law or end-of-quarter office lockdown—like a beach ball on water. The next time a problem arises in your life, take a deep breath, let out a sigh, and replace the thought Oh no! with the thought Okay.”
― Martha Beck

“If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it badly.”
― Martha Beck, The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life

“Angels come in many shapes and sizes, and most of them are not invisible.”
― Martha Beck, Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic

“Menders of all times and places have taught that silencing the thoughts in our heads and opening to the experience of the body and emotions is the basis of all healing. It's the only means by which we can reclaim our true nature or feel the subtle cues telling us how to find our way through life.”
― Martha N. Beck

“If you see failure as a monster stalking you, or one that has
already ruined your life, take another look. That monster can
become a benevolent teacher, opening your mind to successes
you cannot now imagine.”
― Martha Beck

“We divide the roles of mystic, doctor, therapist, artist, herbalist, naturalist, and storyteller into separate, often inimical professions. In most other societies, there was one word, one job assignment, for somebody who was all these things at once.”
― Martha N. Beck

“Silence comes in two varieties: One that nourishes and comforts; another that chokes, smothers, and isolates. Solitary confinement is the worst kind of imprisonment we can inflict on fellow humans, and if you are forced to keep silent about some dark secret, you live in solitary confinement. Without the bridge of communication connecting you to other human beings, you can’t share your burdens, can’t receive comfort, can’t confirm that you still belong. Silence is the abyss that separates you from hope.”
― Martha Beck, Leaving the Saints

“The end goal of all of this striving is to live joyfully, and that there are often more direct ways of achieving this than conforming to rigid standards set by social custom.”
― Martha Beck, Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic

“Try seeing your world and yourself this way, eyes open to whatever is before you, mind free of dichotomies. Are you good or bad, fragile or tough, wise or foolish? Yes. And so am I.”
― Martha Beck

“Most people go through their whole lives," John went on, "and never have one miracle happen to them. You've had dozens and dozens, and you still want more! It's like God gives you a brownie, I mean a really good brownie, but you can't be content with it. You want the whole pan of brownies. Nobody gets that.”
― Martha Beck, Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic

“The poet Mary Oliver did this in one of her poems, brazenly asking, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” If you’re afraid you’ve come to this question too late, you are wrong. Ask your Stargazer self. It will tell you what my fallen-noble friend Marianna told me in one of my darker hours: that the world is re-created in every instant of time, and this moment is always your life’s beginning. No matter how many years have been stolen from you by your own ignorance, by cruel fate, or by the acts of others, you have a clean, broad slate before you. In this instant—this one now—you can begin steering by starlight, and if you do, the rest of creation will conspire to guide, teach, and help you.”
― Martha N. Beck, Steering by Starlight: The Science and Magic of Finding Your Destiny

“People who don't honor their losses don't grieve. They may lose all joy in living, but they don't actively mourn, and this means that they don't heal.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Memory…is not the mechanical recording device people often think it is. Memory is anything but constant, anything but indubitable. It shifts and fades, blooms and dies, steps out for a cigarette and blows tendrils of information and emotion back under the door.”
― Martha Beck, Leaving the Saints

“Cruelty, whether physical or emotional, isn't normal. It may signal what psychologists call the dark triad of psychopathic, narcissistic and Machiavellian personality disorders. One out of about every 25 individuals has an antisocial personality disorder. Their prognosis for recovery is zero, their potential for hurting you about 100 percent. So don't assume that a vicious person just had a difficult childhood or a terrible day; most people with awful childhoods end up being empathetic, and most people, even on their worst days, don't seek satisfaction by inflicting pain. When you witness evil, if only the tawdry evil of a conversational stiletto twist, use your ninjutsu, wait for a distraction, then disappear.”
― Martha Beck

“There's more God in one hurt child than in all the religions humans ever created.”
― Martha Beck, Leaving the Saints

“Almost everyone who feels stymied, aimless, directionless is carrying an unresolved emotional wound. A lack of enthusiasm for life is always a sign that the deep self is hurt. Every person's essential self is pure, productive energy, and yours will return and send you into a fulfilling life almost automatically if your psyche is in good repair.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“The only thing scarier than telling my secrets would be keeping them. When the “sensitive information” you carry is your own history, going mute to protect the system doesn’t keep you from being destroyed; it just means that you destroy yourself.”
― Martha Beck, Leaving the Saints

“You are consciousness dressed in form, my love. Consciousness is divine. Matter is divine. Creation is divine. Everything is divine. Are you somehow the only exception?”
― Martha N. Beck, Diana, Herself: An Allegory of Awakening

“The effect of emotional venting is to sustain an unsatisfactory status quo. Most people think the opposite, that complaining is part of an effort to change an unsatisfying situation. Nope. Complaining lets off pressure so that we neither explode with frustration nor feel compelled to take the often risky steps of openly opposing a difficult person or situation. Keeping emotional pressure tolerably low doesn't change problematic circumstances but rather perpetuates them.”
― Martha Beck

“This is important stuff, so it's crucial not to get too serious, to realize that this is all fun and games. The attitude 'business is serious, it's not fun and games' leads to financial failure, and I won't tolerate it in my company.”
― Martha N. Beck

“The urge to find the real facts is destructive only to people or systems (friendships, family dynamics, political dynasties) that are based on lies. The truth can scare you half to death, but it’s never as destructive as deception.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Albert Camus wrote, “In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Career miracles happen when you’re so in love with your life that pushing yourself is actually easier than stopping, when you “do without doing.” Joyful activity adds real value to the world, and adding value is the heart and soul of a successful career.”
― Martha N. Beck, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

“Many of us have spent a lifetime trying to be what we’re not, feeling lousy about ourselves when we fail, and sometimes when we succeed. We hide our differences when, by accepting and celebrating them, we could collaborate to make every effort more exciting, productive enjoyable, and powerful. Personally, I think we should start right now.”
― Martha Beck

“It was the first time I had spoken to them directly. In doing so, I felt myself cross a fine but very distinct line, the line between speculating about the existence of a metaphysical plane of some sort and climbing aboard for the ride. I knew I had let go of my sanity. It was terrifying. I only did it because my fear of what was happening to my body had become greater than my fear of holding on to rational beliefs.”
― Martha Beck, Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic