Sara Barnard > Quotes

“Panic attacks are a lot like being drunk in some ways, you lose self-control. You cry for seemingly no reason. You deal with the hangover long into the next day.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“But people we love come and go, Caddy. That doesn’t mean we loved them any less at the time.”
― Sara Barnard, Beautiful Broken Things

“Little victories are everything in a world where worst-case scenarios are on an endless loop in your head.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Here are three separate but similar things: shyness, introversion and social anxiety. You can have one, two or all three of these things simultaneously. A lot of the time people thing they're all the same thing, but that's just not true. Extroverts can be shy, introverts can be bold, and a condition like anxiety can strike whatever kind of social animal you are.

Lots of people are shy. Shy is normal. A bit of anxiety is normal. Throw the two together, add some brain-signal error - a NO ENTRY sign on the neural highway from my brain to my mouth perhaps, though no one really knows - and you have me.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“I decide this is just A Bad Day. We all get them, because grief doesn't care how many years it's been.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“I want the world, I think. Even if it scares me.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“And then it happens. The panic. It's slow at first, creeping through the cracks in my thoughts until everything starts to feel heavy. It builds; it becomes something physical that clutches at my insides and squeezes out the air and the blood.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Everyone says apologizing works, but it never really does. Not quickly enough anyway.”
― Sara Barnard, Beautiful Broken Things

“Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“There is no enough.’ Tarin flicked her indicator on, the clicking noise filling the car as she merged on to the motorway. ‘You seem to be forgetting that she’s in a clinical facility getting professional help. Which is great, obviously. Let them worry about how to deal with depression. You’re going to visit your friend, remember? Yes, she’s a patient, but she’s not your patient. So for God’s sake, don’t treat her like one.”
― Sara Barnard, Beautiful Broken Things

“I was sixteen, and I honestly believed I was due a love story.”
― Sara Barnard, Beautiful Broken Things

“Doesn’t she know? Doesn’t she get it? That in anxious heads like mine all it takes is a few words to bring a careful foundation tumbling down?”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Sometimes it just takes that one person to see beyond what everyone tells them they're meant to see.”
― Sara Barnard, Goodbye, Perfect

“Someone like you is brilliant and amazing,' I said. 'Why can't you see that in yourself?' The unfairness of it was starting to sink in. If she could only see herself like I did, there wouldn't be a problem. But she didn't, and she never would, and that was so many levels of wrong and unfair I almost couldn't comprehend it.”
― Sara Barnard, Beautiful Broken Things

“Here’s the thing about anxiety: it’s not rational. It’s not rational, but it’s still real, and it’s still scary, and that’s OK”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Meekness is my camouflage; silence is my force field.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“With lightning, you're never really sure if that's what it was; it's just a flash. Thunder, you know. You feel it.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Even when you see it coming, there's no avoiding the inevitable.”
― Sara Barnard, Beautiful Broken Things

“What are you thinking, Steffi? What are you thinking?
Everything, all the time.
You're so quiet, Steffi. Why are you so quiet?
But in my head it's so loud.
I'm sure everyone has an inner monologue, but I doubt many are as wordy as mine.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“People talk about friendship like it's only about shared loves, but it's not. It's also about finding the same things annoying and getting excited about the same silly, irrelevant things. It's the person you can share a joke with, sure. But it's also the person you can subtly roll your eyes at when someone else is talking too loudly. The person who makes the fun things better and the boring things more bearable. That's Bonnie for me.”
― Sara Barnard, Goodbye, Perfect

“Because no one should be alone and sad on their birthday, even if they thought they wanted to be.”
― Sara Barnard, Beautiful Broken Things

“What if I speak at the same time as someone else? What if no one hears me and I have to repeat myself? What if I say something stupid and they all look at me weirdly? Why would anyone care what I have to say anyway?”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Bad brain: You know that thing on Saturday? It's going to be a disaster.
Good brain: No, it won't. It'll be fine.
Bad brain: You'll say something stupid.
Good brain: No, you won't.
Bad brain: Yeah. You will.
Good brain: OK, yeah, you will. But that's not a disaster.
Bad brain: Yeah it is. Rhys will be like, damn, I've made a mistake here.
Good brain: No, he won't.
Bad brain: Yeah. He will.
Good brain: That might happen, actually.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Things I worried about on the bus: a snapshot of an anxious brain . . . Is that car slowing down? Is someone going to get out and kidnap me? It is slowing down. What if someone asks for directions? What if—Oh. They’re just dropping someone off. The bus is late. What if it doesn’t arrive? What if I’m late getting to school? Did I turn my straighteners off ? What if the bus isn’t running today and no one told me? Where’s the—oh. There’s the bus. Oh crap is that Rowan from Biology? What if he sees me? What if he wants to chat? Hide. Okay, he hasn’t seen me. He hasn’t seen me. What if he did see me and now he thinks I’m weird for not saying hi? Did I remember to clean out Rita’s bowl properly? What if she gets sick? One day Rita will die. One day I’ll die. One day everyone will die. What if I die today and everyone sees that my bra has a hole in it? What if the bus crashes? Where are the exits? Why is there an exit on the ceiling? What if that headache Dad has is a brain tumor? Would I live with Mum all the time if Dad died? Why am I thinking about my living arrangements instead of how horrible it would be if Dad died? What’s wrong with me? What if Rhys doesn’t like me? What if he does? What if we get together and we split up? What if we get together and don’t split up and then we’re together forever until we die? One day I’ll die. Did I remember to turn my straighteners off ? Yes. Yes. Did I? Okay my stop’s coming up. I need to get off in about two minutes. Should I get up now? Will the guy next to me get that I have to get off or will I have to ask him to move? But what if he’s getting off too and I look like a twat? What if worrying kills brain cells? What if I never get to go to university? What if I do and it’s awful? Should I say thank you to the driver on the way off ? Okay, get up, move toward the front of the bus. Go, step. Don’t trip over that old man’s stick. Watch out for the stick. Watch out for the—shit. Did anyone notice that? No, no one’s looking at me. But what if they are? Okay, doors are opening, GO! I didn’t say thank you to the driver. What if he’s having a bad day and that would have made it better? Am I a bad person? Yeah but did I actually turn my straighteners off ?”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Here are three separate but similar things: shyness, introversion and social anxiety. You can have one, two or all three of these things simultaneously. A lot of the time people thing they're all the same thing, but that's just not true. Extroverts can be shy, introverts can be bold, and a condition like anxiety can strike whatever kind of social animal you are.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“There are some people you will do anything for if they really need you”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“We all deserve the opportunity to expand ourselves, to spread out wings and see how it feels to fly.”
― Sara Barnard, Goodbye, Perfect

“I can understand people just fine," I grumble, flicking my fingernails against the skin of my thumb. "But can they understand you?" Jane asks gently. "Remember life is about dialogues, not monologues.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Tem is always the one who takes the lead, who makes the friends. The needed one. I am the one who needs, the one who misses.”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

“Things I worried about on the bus: a snapshot of an anxious brain . . . Is that car slowing down? Is someone going to get out and kidnap me? It is slowing down. What if someone asks for directions? What if—Oh. They’re just dropping someone off. The bus is late. What if it doesn’t arrive? What if I’m late getting to school? Did I turn my straighteners off ? What if the bus isn’t running today and no one told me? Where’s the—oh. There’s the bus. Oh crap is that Rowan from Biology? What if he sees me? What if he wants to chat? Hide. Okay, he hasn’t seen me. He hasn’t seen me. What if he did see me and now he thinks I’m weird for not saying hi? Did I remember to clean out Rita’s bowl properly? What if she gets sick? One day Rita will die. One day I’ll die. One day everyone will die. What if I die today and everyone sees that my bra has a hole in it? What if the bus crashes? Where are the exits? Why is there an exit on the ceiling? What if that headache Dad has is a brain tumor? Would I live with Mum all the time if Dad died? Why am I thinking about my living arrangements instead of how horrible it would be if Dad died? What’s wrong with me? What if Rhys doesn’t like me? What if he does? What if we get together and we split up? What if we get together and don’t split up and then we’re together forever until we die? One day I’ll die. Did I remember to turn my straighteners off ? Yes. Yes. Did I? Okay my stop’s coming up. I need to get off in about two minutes. Should I get up now? Will the guy next to me get that I have to get off or will I have to ask him to move? But what if he’s getting off too and I look like a twat? What if worrying kills brain cells? What if I never get to go to university? What if I do and it’s awful? Should I say thank you to the driver on the way off ? Okay, get up, move toward the front of the bus. Go, step. Don’t trip over that old man’s stick. Watch out for the stick. Watch out for the—shit. Did anyone notice that? No, no one’s looking at me. But what if they are? Okay, doors are opening, GO! I didn’t say thank you to the driver. What if he’s having a bad day and that would have made it better? Am I a bad person?”
― Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder