Bianca Bowers > Quotes

“I worried that my body would cringe when touched. Every foreign fingerprint on my skin belonged to trespassers.”
― Bianca Bowers, Death and Life

“To be human is to be vulnerable. Sometimes rituals and faith help us feel a little less so.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“The thin shell of hope cracked, and my thoughts, emotions, and fears scrambled.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“They would debate every subject under the infinite karoo sky, from the time the chameleons stalked the sun, to when the crickets began their nocturnal orchestra.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“When there is a power failure, do you go and look for candles and matches or do you sit in the dark and allow your fears to get the best of you?”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“I sat amongst the bones for a while and watched the ocean as it churned, thinking that Africa was the most wild and devastatingly beautiful place that I would ever have the privilege of knowing.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“One day you will realise that you don’t belong here, Ros. Even though we, and generations before us, were born and raised in Africa, we can never call ourselves Africans.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“I felt the hum of a cicada travel up my spine and a squadron of dragonflies hover in my stomach.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“Funny thing about jacarandas - you only notice them when they start flowering. And, like those trees, I never recognised my wife's true desire until it emerged like a cluster of purple petals when the season turned.”
― Bianca Bowers

“The dorp felt like another planet; an accidental seed that never received enough water or sunlight to reach its full potential.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“Ouma always woke up before the birds did. She called it waking up at ‘mossiepop’ — Afrikaans for sparrow’s fart.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“They talked at full volume. As if life was a vinyl that could only be truly appreciated when plugged into an amplifier and turned way up.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“Like ladies attending a Japanese tea ceremony, Ouma and I shared secrets between sips of steaming Rooibos.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“I have always been honest with you, Ros. I invited you into my world, into my family home. I didn’t do it to make you feel guilty. I did it because I’m trying to love you.’
‘I didn’t tell you about my family, because I am trying to love you back,’ I said.
‘That makes no sense, Ros.’
‘It does make sense if you think about it. Love is the easy part of this equation, Paris, don’t you see. I love your face. I love your personality. I love your company. I love talking to you.’
‘But,’ he interjected.
‘But, no matter how much I love you, I know that we will always be divided by the colour fence.'
‘Apartheid is ending, Ros.’
‘You know as well as I do that the philosophical divide will remain long after it is physically removed.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“Broken cities and bridges can be rebuilt, Lindy, but a building without power will eventually become derelict and fall into a state of decay. If left too long it will be earmarked for demolition.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“Perhaps something inside him changed or died. Or maybe it didn’t die. Maybe he murdered it in order to survive the grief.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“I’m afraid that I will break, like a dam without floodgates, or an earthquake beneath a fault line.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“Paris looked me in the eye — as if he could, and desired to, see beyond the colour of my skin...
‘Can I ask you something personal, Ros?’
‘Of course.’
‘I’ve always wanted to ask a white person this question, but never had the chance.’
‘Ask away,’ I said.
‘Was there a moment when you discovered apartheid and questioned it, or was it something you never thought about?’
I told Paris about the day in 1982 when I saw the Whites Only sign outside the Wimpy Bar and questioned my mother.
‘What did she say?’
‘She translated it into a rule that I must accept and obey.’
‘And?’
‘And, I refused to eat my food in protest.’
He wiped his hands, pushed his chair back and stood beside me. I looked up at him like I would the Umhlanga lighthouse.
‘Stand up, Ros.’
I stood up and faced him. He held my face in his hands and said, ‘I knew you were special.’
‘I’m not special,’ I said. ‘I have spent my whole life criticising apartheid, but doing very little to change anything.’
‘Tula,’ he said, ‘you knew right from wrong and you had the courage to speak up.’
‘Fat lot of good it did.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“I sat opposite my parents and scrutinised them like strangers. I wondered why I saw things so differently. Rules were supposed to be good, but this colour rule seemed bad. The clatter of a tray jolted me out of my thoughts. Our jolly, black waitress didn’t seem to mind that she could work, but not dine, in the Wimpy. I entwined my arms like a straitjacket across my chest, and thought of all the years I had been oblivious to the colour rule. I felt foolish. Deceived. My mind reeled like a fishing line in deep waters.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“For a minute, the only sounds were thunder and the crackling fire. I watched his face change — like a chalkboard that had been wiped clean — and immediately regretted telling him. He was physically in the room, yet he seemed ghostly — frail enough to disappear like a wisp of smoke, and tormented enough to haunt the room.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“If Madiba has taught our nation anything, it is that humility is a superpower.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“Light spilled out of Mohini’s room and drew me toward it like the sun beckons an African daisy.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“The muscles in my father’s face looked as if they’d suffered a stroke, and my mother pursed her lips. I was certain that I’d finally hit a major artery, that blood would spill, but I was wrong. She got off the bed and straightened her spine. With her chin raised and eyes meeting mine, she said, ‘Whatever did or didn’t happen, it is all in the past now.’
I narrowed my eyes and scrutinised her. The anger rising like flames in my throat. In a low voice, I hissed, ‘Is that all you have to say?’
‘What do you want me to say, Rosalinde?’
‘Say you’re sorry. Say you’re partly to blame for continuously pushing me toward that fucking psychopath. Say something motherly. In fact, start acting more like a mother while you’re at it.’
She slapped my already bruised face. I didn’t retaliate.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“Just when you think that life is moving in one direction, it boomerangs.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“The violence was so indescribable, so beyond my bank of experience, that my mind intervened — having no choice but to leave my flimsy body, where so much damage was possible.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“I’m not interested in some theoretic sermon that ends with a hope and prayer, Dad. I need to hear something real. Something that literally broke the fabric of your life. A story that ends with proof of life instead of some wishy-washy platitude.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“The fog was thick, but the further I walked, I glimpsed patches of sky and sea — indistinguishable from one another in many ways, like a shade of silver without the light, or the underbelly of a grey whale.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“As for this apartheid business, I don’t want to hear anymore outbursts from you, understand?’
‘Apartheid is bigger than race,’ I said. ‘It’s a regime. It’s propaganda. It’s…’
‘Rosalinde,’ my father interrupted me, ‘this is the situation that we live in and there’s nothing that you or I can do to change it.’
‘Why not?’ I said. ‘A few people have tried, but it will only work if we all try.’
‘Make things easy on yourself, Ros, and go with the flow on this. Please. If you don’t, you’ll be in for a tough time.’
‘I saw Promise’s room yesterday,’ I said.
‘What?’
‘I will never be able to go with the flow.’
My father stared at me as if he was defending his record in a staring contest, and then said, ‘You owe everyone an apology.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“I saw the look in his eyes before I heard his words, and for the first time in my life I felt the weight of my own bones.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms

“My father once told me that the dynamics of the Agulhas current was called Retroflection; the movement of an ocean current that doubles back on itself.”
― Bianca Bowers, Cape of Storms