Vanessa Lapointe > Quotes

“You are not managing an inconvenience, you are raising a human being,”
― Vanessa Lapointe, Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up

“Connection allows for discipline without damage, and responsibility for connection is the big person’s to own.”
― Vanessa Lapointe, Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up

“Unfortunately, the main lesson children learn from conventional discipline is that our love for them is conditional, contingent on their ability to control their behavior.”
― Vanessa Lapointe, Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up

“A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter: “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.” The little girl said: “No, Dad. You hold my hand.” “What’s the difference?” asked the puzzled father. “There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl. “If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.”
― Vanessa Lapointe, Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up

“To discipline without damage, big people must escape the vortex. And to escape the vortex, big people must stop using the disconnect as a disciplinary technique.”
― Vanessa Lapointe, Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up

“You are not managing an inconvenience, you are raising a human being,”3 sums up nurse and author Kittie Frantz.”
― Vanessa Lapointe, Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up

“This is why children do not “learn” to calm or self-regulate. Children become capable of calming and self-regulation through consistent experiences of having been calmed by their caring adults. These calming experiences physically transform the brain’s stress response center and pave the way neurologically for the capacity of self-regulation. For”
― Vanessa Lapointe, Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up

“Pearl S. Buck, author and humanitarian, summed up the lived experience of the sensitive person beautifully: “A touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death.”
― Vanessa Lapointe, Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up