Debra K. Fileta > Quotes

“Fix your eyes on Jesus and the plans he has for your life. Look ahead, and run after him with all your heart. Then look around. Whoever has kept up with you, marry that person.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life

“Dating with no regrets means keeping your focus on Jesus, so that no matter what happens in your relationships with others, your relationship with God remains intact.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life

“Your longing for an intimate relationship with another person is something you were created to feel. It doesn’t mean that you are unholy or that you haven’t let Jesus fill your heart the way he should. It means you’re human, created in the image of God, a God who loves, who connects, and who longs for relationship himself.
Jesus can never be your boyfriend or girlfriend because we was never intended to be. A significant part of your heart was designed specifically for just him, but there is a part of your heart that was designed specifically for others.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life

“Guarding your heart means protecting deepest parts of who you are - both your emotional and spiritual worlds - from anyone who could cause them harm.”
― Debra Fileta

“what matters is not who initiated but how we responded thereafter. We both responded with affirming words and validating actions. We invested in the relationship equally, together giving and receiving. We kept communication open the whole way through.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“What if our loneliness is the result not simply of needing a partner but of needing people? We are made in the image of a relational God; it makes sense that we possess the desire to be together.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life

“When we see marriage as our sole purpose, we find ourselves with nowhere to go when we finally arrive.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life

“Focus on whom God has made you to be, rather than on whom he has made for you to be with.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“God is after the bigger picture of your life. He is writing your story. I'm about to say something that may seem antithetical to this book, but need you to hear this: your story has far more to do with finding God's unique calling and purpose for your life than it does with finding the love of your life.”
― Debra Fileta

“More important than who initiates a relationship are the mutual love and respect that are exchanged from that point on.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“Choosing to love someone is so much more meaningful than needing someone to love.”
― Debra Fileta, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start with We>Me

“Your story has far more to do with finding God’s unique calling and purpose for you life than it does with finding the love of your life.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life

“The result of immersing yourself in God’s love is that it requires you to trust — trust in a God who loves you enough to meet all of your needs, trust in a God who knows what is best for your life, trust in the one who promises that his will is good, pleasing, and perfect (Rom. 12:2), trust in a God whose love is matchless.”
― Debra K. Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“the success of a relationship is determined not by a lack of conflict but by how well a couple works through conflict.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“Marraige is about finding a comrade, not ultimate contentment. It's about finding a helpmate, not a healer (Gen. 2:18). You must see the road to healing as a journey with God, one that you and he must walk together.”
― Debra K Fileta, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start with We>Me

“Because I had no awareness of who I was or what I needed, I found myself settling for a mediocre relationship rather than holding out for what was best.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life

“It’s easier to show aggression than it is to feel insecure. It’s easier to push people away and to live alone than to be emotionally exposed and vulnerable.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“I recently heard a talk about identity in which the speaker said it's almost as though we are born into a world in which we are constantly being labeled by others -- our parents, our friends, our family, and people we don't even know. Each person, from the outside looking in, comes up with a label to slap onto us without our permission. Some labels are kind and some are truthful, but many of them are lies. And sometimes we leave the negative labels on so long that we believe what they say; we allow those labels to define us.”
― Debra Fileta

“The Bible reveals love as a choice that is based not entirely on a feeling but on the commitment of one person to another. Love is a giving of self with no expectation to receive, a decision made every moment of every day. It is the reality of unconditional love.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“A thought-provoking passage in the book of James challenges us to get real with how we look. Not on the outside but on the inside. It talks about the importance of spiritual growth and explains that a person who listens to God’s words but doesn’t change is like a person who looks in the mirror but walks away, forgetting what they saw (James 1:23 – 25).”
― Debra K. Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“Finding true love may be a beautiful portion of your story, but it was never intended to be the grand finale.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“Birds of a feather flock together.” That saying is true in so many ways. The reality of dating is that you are attracted to people who are similar to you, similar not necessarily in appearance or personality (though that may be true) but in health. I can’t tell you the number of times I have counseled men and women who have asked me through tears, “Why am I always attracted to the unhealthy ones?” The simple answer is that what you believe about yourself is what you will get. Your beliefs and view of self are so central to determining the kind of person you will relate to. They act like lures, drawing people to your side. Your level of emotional health and self-esteem will always attract others who are in the same category. Healthy people will marry healthy people because you will always end up with the person whom you believe you deserve. It’s a simple equation, though we tend to complicate it. It’s almost as though human beings are magnetic. We attract people who are similar to us. Not only that, but studies on dating1 have shown that we even tend to date and marry people who are similar to us in appearance and style. If something as superficial as physical appearance holds that much power, how much more magnetic is the influence of our mental and emotional world?”
― Debra K. Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“TrueLoveDates.com”
― Debra K. Fileta, Are You Really OK?: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You're Doing, and Why It Matters

“Envision your future. Having a vision for your life is of ultimate importance. Scripture explains that “where there is no vision, the people perish” (Prov. 29:18 KJV). The ability to live in the present grounds you, but living with hope for the future propels you forward. What do you imagine your life will look like in one year, five years, or ten years? Where do you hope to be? What do you hope to be doing? Open your heart, release your mind, trust your spirit, and begin envisioning your future.”
― Debra K. Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“Finding true love starts with taking inventory of our strengths and weaknesses, quirks and traits, hopes and dreams, and getting to know the person behind the mask.”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“Satan hates healthy relationships, because he despises everything that is from the hand of God. He wants to destroy our relationship with God and to sabotage our marriages long before they even begin. The best way he can do that is by getting us to take our focus off of the one who invented relationships and place it on everything else. In”
― Debra Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“It’s important to be excited about your new relationship. It’s important to feel a connection, an attraction, and a joyful anticipation of what’s to come. The absence of those feelings and that excitement means something is missing.”
― Debra K. Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“Understand your present. More significant than what has happened in your past is who you have become in the present. Though the past may shape your present, it can’t control it. By the grace of God, you are enabled to overcome your past by becoming who God has called you to be here and now. No matter what lies behind you, God has placed you where you are at today “for such a time as this” (Est. 4:14). Find your purpose, identify your passions, and live for the present.”
― Debra K. Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“your story has far more to do with finding God’s unique calling and purpose for your life than it does with finding the love of your life.”
― Debra K. Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life

“John met Deb at a church conference one summer. He describes the moment he met her as “instantly falling in love.” In fact, he called his best friend, who lived across the country, to tell him, “I’ve met the girl I’m going to marry.” John had been saving his heart for that special someone. He was selective in his dating endeavors and had never really been in a serious relationship. Even though his heart told him to just go for it with Deb, his head told him to wait, and he pursued a friendship with her after the conference was over. He called her, visited with her, and got to know her as he would any friend. He made sure not to lead her on with flirtatious language or touch, and he tried to get to know her as a person. Five months into their friendship, his feelings for her grew stronger and stronger. Through their friendship, he learned so much about her, and with every passing day, she seemed to fit more and more into the mold of the woman he had always dreamed of marrying. Not only did he feel that he loved her, he truly liked her and felt that their friendship was ready for the next step. He asked her to enter a dating relationship with him, and she accepted. Their friendship was a solid foundation for a healthy dating relationship that eventually led to an incredible marriage.”
― Debra K. Fileta, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life