Daniel S. Lobel > Quotes

“Your refusing to do for your daughter anything that she can do for herself is a critical form of supporting her self-empowerment.”
― Daniel S. Lobel, When Your Daughter Has BPD: Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder

“If”
― Daniel S. Lobel, When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder: A Guide for Adult Children

“EXERCISE: Building a Better You Find a blank page in a journal or use a sheet of paper and write out the days of the week. Alternatively, you could open up your calendar or diary to the following week. Choose seven qualities that are attractive to you and fit your definition of self-worth. Examples of such qualities include mindful, patient, generous, spiritual, strong, loyal, etc. Assign each quality to a day of the week. Every morning check which quality you will focus on that day and try to express that quality in as many of your activities for that day as possible. If you repeat this exercise every week, you will make these qualities feel natural and emphasize their presence in your personality.”
― Daniel S. Lobel, When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder: A Guide for Adult Children

“this sounds familiar to you, let me reassure you that it’s normal to feel conflicted. You are likely compelled to maintain the relationship to avoid the feelings of guilt you experience if you don’t. Your mother has probably accused you over the years of not being good enough, which enslaves you into seeking her approval. You may have heard her call you ungrateful, a bad child, or any number of other things when you’ve tried to set a boundary with her. Does this dialogue sound familiar?”
― Daniel S. Lobel, When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder: A Guide for Adult Children