River Laurent > Quotes

“I’m not slurring. I’m talking in cursive.”
― River Laurent, Dear Neighbor

“That’s right, your precious groom, the one that you’d rather believe than me, came on to me.”
“What did he do to you?” he asks, his eyes glittering with a totally different kind of anger.
I shift nervously. I can handle the raging bear, but I don’t know what to do with this ice-cold stranger. “Nothing. He found out quickly that I’m not his type. I’m not inflatable.”
― River Laurent, Cinderella.Com

“It's just like Goldilocks, but with waves of long, dark-chocolate hair.

Hell, I don't even want to blink in case she disappears.

I didn’t pay too much attention to my fairy tales. Did any of those bears get to the kiss the girl?”
― River Laurent, Kissing Booth

“Look in the tub. There’s a huge freaking spider in it.” “Is that all?” I ask, relieved. Hell, the way she screamed, I thought someone was stabbing her to death with a rusty knife. “Is that all?” she counters, her voice rising hysterically. “Go and see it. That—thing is a monster.” “Don’t be such a baby,” I reply as I move to the tub and look inside. It’s bright blue, furry, the size of a goddamn softball. “Shit. That is big.” “I told you,” she cries fearfully. “I can’t believe I was in there with that—thing. It looks like a tarantula had sex with a smurf.” My back is to her, so I didn’t have to hide my smile, but seriously, the spiders in the tropics are something else. “I’m sure he was just trying to get a peek at you,” I tease. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of this little peeping Tom.” I go back out to my room and grab one of my shoes. I return and it is still trying to climb the slippery sides of the bath. Alright, you little pervert. No more ogling my sexy assistant. The arthropod makes a squashing sound. Wadding up some toilet paper in my hand I scoop up the blob that looks like crushed blueberries. I flush its remains down the toilet, chuck my splattered shoe in the trashcan, and turn around.”
― River Laurent, The CEO & I