Jim C. Hines > Quotes

“1. Bullying is not okay. Period.

2. Freedom of religion does not give you the right to physically or verbally assault people.

3. If your sincerely-held religious beliefs require you to bully children, then your beliefs are fucked up.”
― Jim C. Hines

“Freedom of speech does not protect you from the consequences of saying stupid shit.

[Blog post, March 12, 2012]”
― Jim C. Hines

“Your religious beliefs are your business. They are not and should not be the basis for law. If you use them as justification to discriminate against others, don’t be upset when others decide you’re an asshole."

[Blog post of July 26, 2011]”
― Jim C. Hines

“...bookstores, libraries... they're the closest thing I have to a church.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“I like big books and I cannot lie.
You other readers can’t deny
That when a kid walks in with The Name of the Wind
Like a hardbound brick of win.
Story bling.
Wanna swipe that thing
Cause you see that boy is speeding
Right through the book he’s reading.
I’m hooked and I can’t stop pleading.
Wanna curl up with that for ages,
All thousand pages.
Reviewers tried to warn me.
But with that plot you hooked
Me like Bradley.
Ooh, crack that fat spine.
You know I wanna make you mine.
This book is stella ’cause it ain’t some quick novella.”
― Jim C. Hines

“If we ruled the world, I guarantee you they never would have cancelled Firefly”
― Jim C. Hines

“The more we narrow the definition of beauty, the more beauty we shut out of our lives.”
― Jim C. Hines, Codex Born

“This presents a serious question." They both looked at me. "What's that?" asked Lena. "Whether to start you off with a Doctor Who marathon or dive straight into Firefly.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“The sonic screwdriver from Doctor Who might have worked, having been canonically established as being ineffective on wood, but nobody had ever figured out how to use the controls on the blasted thing.”
― Jim C. Hines, Codex Born

“Every libromancer had a first book. Etched more sharply into my memory than my first kiss, this book had been my magical awakening.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“Look at the shiny magic thing trying to kill us, isn’t it awesome?”
― Jim C. Hines, Codex Born

“Do you know why happily ever after is a lie?" Snow asked. "Because life is change.”
― Jim C. Hines, Red Hood's Revenge

“That worked great! Thank you so much. What next?"
"I don't know. I didn't expect you to live through it."
"Oh.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“I was amused to note that even vampires obeyed the unwritten rules of elevator etiquette.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“Any factual errors that remain are entirely the fault of Bob, who snuck into the offices at DAW to try to sabotage my book. I hate that guy.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“Like any child raised on tales of magical worlds beyond paintings and mirrors and wardrobes, I had yearned to enter Middle Earth, to reach through.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“Isaac: “Besides, is it really stealing if you’re stealing from an asshole?”
Lena: “I’d have to double-check, but I don’t think the criminal code includes an asshole clause.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“Which reminds me, there's a vampire hand in your freezer's ice maker." Seeing my aghast expression, she added, "Don't worry. I double-bagged it.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“Given the issues with certain SF/F trophies (like the World Fantasy Award, which is 1) butt-ugly and 2) based on one disgustingly racist dude), all trophies from this point forward should be made out of LEGO. That way if you don't like it, you can just make it into something else.”
― Jim C. Hines

“There was magic, and there was magic. Thanks to Gutenberg, I could no longer pull wands, potions, and light sabers out of books, but when it came to research, give me a well-stocked library and I was a goddamned Merlin.”
― Jim C. Hines, Unbound

“New rule: every fantasy author who doesn't treat horses like tireless hairy motorcycles automatically gets a Hugo.”
― Jim C. Hines

“If you really want to kill a libriomancer, hook a bomb up to a big red button and tell him not to press it”
― Jim C. Hines, Codex Born

“That is a trial I must face," Veka said.
"No, that is a multiheaded snake thing, Jig snapped.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Hero

“Two libriomancers had been disciplined for trying to get an early copy of the last Harry Potter book.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“Of course, once you had yanked Conan the Barbarian's sword out of a book to fight off a rabid weresquirrel, "impossible" lost a lot of its punch.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“Torches," Porak ordered.
"This is dumb," Jig grumbled as one of the others handed out torches. "Why not run ahead and warn any intruders that we're coming? Maybe we should sing, too, in case they're blind.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“I see words, I read them.”
― Jim C. Hines, Codex Born

“I closed my eyes, feeling the tug of the books. This was my refuge, my fortress of solitude. Standing in this quiet cave, surrounded by walls of books, was normally enough to ease my mind no matter how stressful things got . . . but not today. Today the books called to me. Every one was a gateway to magic, waiting to be unlocked.”
― Jim C. Hines, Libriomancer

“Plans were for adventurers. He preferred the goblin approach. Blind panic might not work all the time, but at least it saved you the stress of planning.”
― Jim C. Hines, Goblin Quest

“اعتقاداتك الدينية هى شئ خاص بك. إنها ليست ولا يجب أن تكون أساساً للقانون. إذا استخدمتها كمبرر للتمييز ضد الآخرين، فلا تنزعج عندما يراك الآخرين مخبولاً.”
― Jim C. Hines