Dan Tomasulo > Quotes

“Make it specific but not limiting. Just like when we did the gratitude exercise, specific instances will work better than vague ones.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“What causes depression is repeatedly focusing on the negative—and then getting stuck there. It emphasizes our weaknesses and erases possibility from our future.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“and let your compassionate side speak, get up, switch chairs, and speak from this reversed role. Your kind self might ask why you are having a certain feeling or ask to hear more about something your negative self expressed.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“If we persuade ourselves that the future can’t be influenced by our actions, the default response is depression.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Give yourself a nod. Notice when you are nodding to what is being said—it means you’re more likely to be in agreement. Being mindful80 of your nodding can also help you notice if you are subtly trying to convince yourself of something, giving you the space to decide if it’s what you truly want. On the other side of the coin, if you are looking to persuade others, subtly nodding while you’re talking increases the likelihood of them agreeing with you.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Achieving small, calibrated goals has been linked to higher well-being than the bigger, broader goals, because it gives us regular feedback and encouragement. A belief in attainable goals creates sustainable hope—which, in turn, also helps us to find purpose and meaning.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Step 2: Observe what’s vivid. Next, consider what stood out for you the most. Was it the cold in your toes? The smell of jasmine from outside? How rapid your breath was? Be curious about what captures your attention and write it down. Eventually, you can take this practice out into the world. Is there a beautiful sunset? A terrific-smelling restaurant? A warm breeze? When something vivid happens—pay attention to it.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Another way to share is to write a letter of gratitude to someone.35 This requires a cognitive review of past events and acts that inspire gratitude, expressing it by writing it down, and interacting with another by delivering the message. I encourage you to think of those you have gratitude for and write them a note, give them a call, or go knock on their door. It’s one of the best things you can do to enhance everyone’s well-being.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Myth #5: Having hope changes what we believe. Fact: Hope is informed and primed by our beliefs.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Limiting decisions Shift perspective Hopeful decisions”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Step 3: Catch yourself thinking. As you bring these first two practices into your daily life, become aware of your thoughts. What are you thinking about? What are you feeling? Remember, you’re not making good or bad judgments—just observations.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“A low vagal tone meant inflammation, anxiety, depression, loneliness, and heart attacks.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Step 2: Reflect on your examples. In your journal, write about the circumstances that surrounded the event. If something like that happened now, would you respond differently? What positive thing(s) emerged? Were there actions you took that helped bring about the positive development?”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Write down these future possibilities as if they have already taken place.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“The power behind hope also requires something that’s a bit of a surprise—uncertainty. Researchers initially believed that a specific but either very easy, or impossible, goal wouldn’t be a condition for hope. But they found that people with high hope created inherent challenges, to make an easy goal more difficult.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“As they master one level, they make the game harder, and thus more interesting.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Thoreau advised us long ago that “if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Step 3: Consider these strengths. In writing, reflect on how using a combination of your signature strengths led to your peak experience or powerful positive event. It may have seemed like everything came together via circumstances from the outside, but look at it with this new lens. It is more likely that the positive feelings and experiences you had resulted from using the strengths within you.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Power walk and power pose. You may have heard about Sara Snodgrass’s power walking to increase your self-esteem, but fifty-five studies have recently confirmed that striking a “power pose” (think Wonder Woman)—as made popular by Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy—can increase your self-esteem and boost your confidence.77 How we hold our body does indeed affect our mind.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Step 3: Look at your list. Consider whether you might have just identified your exact opposite. You have created a very thorough catalog of exactly what you’ve devoted your life to not becoming.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Step 1: List everything you can remember doing yesterday. Don’t leave anything off—even if it was just doing chores like taking out the garbage or washing dishes. Then set this list aside.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“One of the secret ingredients of hope is recalibration.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“This demonstrates that bad feelings or good feelings about something or someone are influenced by tinted glasses we may not know we’re wearing.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“hope involves having a pathway to achieve goals and the agency, or motivation, to reach these goals.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Instead of understanding depression as a chemical imbalance we have to overcome, or a mood disorder we have to be in charge of, what if it were just the result of us not being able to use our strengths? What if it were just us feeling blocked from being who we truly are?”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“I have found that three guidelines tend to open up the space between stimulus and response and give us an awareness of our thoughts.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Optimists explain the same negative event a different way, as neither permanent nor pervasive, and don’t take it personally. Instead, they view it as a temporary hurdle, an isolated occurrence, and they see how it is controllable.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Step 3: Now imagine a person you love and who loves you. Hold them in your mind’s eye. Notice the difference in your body when you imagine your loved person, compared to the person you despise, from the previous exercise.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Now we are going into the very heart of understanding how thoughts change. They change when they are noticed. This is at once an ancient secret and the most exciting new topic for research.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression

“Step 1: Jot down three people you admire. Again, it can be people you know or don’t know. Now ask yourself, what is the common thread among them? How are these people you admire alike? Find the red thread, the common denominator among them all.”
― Dan Tomasulo, Learned Hopefulness: The Power of Positivity to Overcome Depression