Marty Klein > Quotes

“Remember, breasts don't sag as we get older, they relax.”
― Marty Klein

“Attempting to indirectly get validation, reassurance, and other psychological fulfillment from sex - especially if we don't admit our agenda to ourselves or inform our partner - makes sex complicated, unpredictable, and a lot of work. We make it even harder on ourselves by creating narrow, rigid definitions of the satisfactions we seek; if "manliness" means always being erect regardless of fatigue, for instance, or "competent" means climaxing every time, sexual "success" will be frustratingly elusive.

Perhaps this helps explain why you aren't focused on pleasure and closeness during sex. It's because you're also looking for something else, whether you know it or not. This also helps explain why so many people are sexually dissatisfied - because sex isn't delivering what they really want, in fact can't deliver what they want through genital excellence. And any psychological satisfaction you accidentally get doesn't stick to you ribs because it's indirect, unacknowledged, and fleeting.”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex

“Each new advance in technology raises the issue of sexual normality all over again.”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“The Gift of the Magi.” You’ll recall that it features a very loving but very poor young couple who want to buy each other a Christmas gift. She cuts off and sells her exquisite hair so she can buy him a chain for his cherished pocket watch; he sells his treasured watch so he can buy her precious combs for her signature hair. Of course”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“So that’s it: Sexual Intelligence means dealing with sexuality in a straightforward way”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“If people did talk about what they want from sex thoroughly and accurately”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“Ironically”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“Our obsession with “normal” is an attempt to stay clean while dealing with something potentially dirty. Partly because sex deals with body fluids”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“What really matters in sex isn’t the things you can measure; it’s how people feel, which is a lot harder to explore, understand, measure, or fix.”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“When we don't accept ourselves, it's almost impossible to imagine someone else accepting us. Think about it - if you don't like your own cooking, can you imagine someone else enjoying it? If you think your're a boring person, do you believe someone who says you're fascinating?

It's the same with sex. We need to accept ourselves - our bodies, our preferences, our experiences, the way we orgasm (or don't) - in order to imagine that our partner accepts or even celebrates us. Without self-acceptance, we're constantly on the defensive. Someone says you look great? You respond with an apology, defensiveness, or suspicion that you're being patronized.”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex

“clinicians know that our genitalia are particularly susceptible to various common influences: emotions”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“one of the wonderful things about sex is that we can make it a place where mistakes are simply not possible”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“Rather than try to create a certain kind of sex”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It

“For millions of men and women, "I didn't mess that up too badly" is as good as sex gets.”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex

“But he never told Ellie this in a simple”
― Marty Klein, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It