Susan Hawke > Quotes

“No Honey, I'm from a town so deep in the south that sushi is still called bait>”
― Susan Hawke, How Not to Blend

“buds. I’m just not much of a fan of organized religion. I hate the way Christians use the Bible to hurt people.” Gabe smiled gently as he took the wine from me. “Fair”
― Susan Hawke, How Not to Sin

“he was able to get deeper than he had before so that Darth-Vader-helmet-shaped head of his cock rubbed against my prostate with every thrust.”
― Susan Hawke, How Not to Blend

“A.A. Milne, the guy who wrote Winnie the Pooh, said this one. ‘How lucky I am to have something that makes saying good-bye so hard.”
― Susan Hawke, Making Rules

“Good-byes are not forever, are not the end. It simply means I'll miss you until we meet again.”
― Susan Hawke, Making Rules

“I don't care about you girls as much, at least there’s something sexy about two girls getting it on.”
― Susan Hawke, Abandoning Ship

“Secondly, have you never seen a Lifetime movie? The stalker never sends a note of apology. That’s like, creepy perv 101.”
― Susan Hawke, How Not to Break

“Calm down, babe. I didn't marry you for your money. I married you because I can't read a form, remember”
― Susan Hawke, Abandoning Ship

“No good can ever come from naming your daughter Heather, just saying. It's like you're asking for the kid to pull a Winona Ryder at some point. It's like, geez, Karen. Watch the dang movie before slapping the name on an innocent baby.”
― Susan Hawke, Rules to Ignore

“I wanted to drop to my knees and pay homage to that perfect ass.”
― Susan Hawke, Abandoning Ship

“He had a funny look on his face—almost like he wanted to sneeze and fart at the same time—that I noticed he got when he came.”
― Susan Hawke, Rules to Obey

“Holy ship! That's us! I guess ship happens when you are good people, right? Ship, ship, hooray!”
― Susan Hawke, Abandoning Ship

“Yeah! It's finally time for sexy whack-a-mole!”
― Susan Hawke, Uniquely Average

“And when the hard choices come up? Go with your gut. The first answer that comes to mind is usually the right one.”
― Susan Hawke, Rules to Ignore

“Sammy, that is my exact definition of family. An odd group of weirdos that are always in your corner.”
― Susan Hawke, Rules for Loving

“make sure you get the one that is numbered with your special couple number. Trust me, you boy/boy couples out there would not want to get a gift with bath bombs and girl massagers. You'd prefer the one meant for you with flavored lube and special toys like vibrating butt plugs or an autographed DVD from a premier gay porn studio. And for you straight couples—I'm sorry—we have vanilla pudding”
― Susan Hawke, Abandoning Ship

“Homeless was one letter away from hopeless, which was just as accurate a description.”
― Susan Hawke, Rules for Santa