Jaye Wells > Quotes

“I walked to the door where Clovis waited. When I looked up, he was staring at Adam. A quick glance backward confirmed Adam was returning his stare. Freaking males, I thought, they couldn’t be more obvious about their territorial dispute if they’d both peed on me.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“Bookstores are temples and stories are my prayers.”
― Jaye Wells

“Sure. What's the worst that could happen."
Twenty minutes later, we had our answer. "I can't frecking believe this."
I cringed. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm bald!" Giguhl continued. "I look like a freak."
"It's not that bad," I said. But it was. Oh, my lord was it bad. I'd never seen an uglier cat in my entire life.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“By now, I should have learned that luck, if she was a lady, was a mean-spirited bitch with a grudge against me.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“Is that all you bought?” His eyes shot to the left. “Um.” I clenched my teeth. “What else?” “A Super Mega Juicer,” he said quickly. “But, Sabina, seriously that juicer is a miracle machine.” “I’m a vampire, Giguhl. The only liquids I drink are blood and alcohol. I don’t do juice.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“What up, peeps?"
I looked at my hairless cat for a moment. "What up, peeps? You've been watching MTV again, haven't you?"
"Word.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“I cringed at her entirely accurate summary of the kiss. "Look, it‘s not a big deal. I think it was curiosity more than anything."
"Curiosity? Like you were wondering what his tonsils tasted like?”
― Jaye Wells, The Mage in Black

“Believe it or not, there are plenty of ways to satisfy your need for blood without harming anyone."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but where's the fun in that?”
― Jaye Wells, The Mage in Black

“I think you need to go find that boy and tell him how you feel about him. Then you need to ride him like a tilt-o-whirl.”
― Jaye Wells, Green-Eyed Demon

“Wait,” he said, pulling me to a stop when I tried to march off toward my destiny. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

I looked at him, trying to think of anything I’d done recently that I needed to admit to. When nothing came to mind other than the usual, I shook my head. “Not really. Why?”
He reached out and touched my leather jacket. “Is that a bullet hole?”

Freaking great.”
― Jaye Wells, The Mage in Black

“Before I joined them, I cracked my neck from side to side. Breathing in a martyred sigh, I reminded my temper to behave itself. If I'd learned one thing, it was that killing people who annoyed me generally created more problems than it solved.

I mentally patted myself on the back. See? Totally growing.”
― Jaye Wells, Green-Eyed Demon

“Got it. Look for a room with a sign with a big arrow that says, ‘Kidnapped Mancies Here,’ ” he said.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“Fuck fate and David's fatalism. I was going to make destiny my bitch.”
― Jaye Wells, Green-Eyed Demon

“What she means is, I might look like a pussy but I'm really a badass demon.”
― Jaye Wells, Silver-Tongued Devil

“My eyes bulged out of my head as I saw what rested between his hips. “Good Lord!” I said without thinking. A forked penis will do that to a girl. He glanced down at the appendage and smiled knowingly. “Once you go demon you never go back.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“He paused, letting the tension mount. His solemn gaze met mine. "How long are you going to make me wait?"

I considered making a joke. Blowing the whole thing off like nothing had happened. But I cared about Adam too much to dismiss his genuine interest with careless sarcasm. "I don't know."

He stared at me for a few moments. Behind his eyes I could see the wheels turning. Weighing the options and eventualities. Finally, he breathed out through his nose, like expelling bad energy. "Well, I guess that's better than 'never'.”
― Jaye Wells, Green-Eyed Demon

“We passed by a few workers, who did double takes as we ran past. I supposed that the image of a hairless cat in a sweater being followed by a stressed-looking chick in stiletto boots could have been funny. I was too anxious to get the hell out of there to see any humor in it.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“Spare me the self-righteous indignation. I highly doubt your motives are selfless.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“Sabina." Vinca said interrupting my maudlin thoughts.
"Hmmm..."
She rolled her eyes. "I said, don't you think Adam looks nice tonight."
I shook myself. "I guess so," I said with a shrug.
"Oh, stop," he said. "You're going to make me blush.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“What are you doing here?” a deep voice demanded. My heart burst into a rapid staccato as I swung around, ready to defend myself. Only instead of a guard or employee, Giguhl sat a few feet away laughing at me.
“Dammit, you scared the crap out of me.”
He laughed, a spooky noise coming from an even spookier-looking cat. “You should have seen your face.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“If wishes solved problems, the world would be a very different place.”
― Jaye Wells, Silver-Tongued Devil

“I laughed. "Yeah, right. If anyone gives you trouble, he'll hump their leg like a berserker."
"Hey! I haven't humped anyone in months." The demon pursed his lips".”
― Jaye Wells, Silver-Tongued Devil

“I frowned. This from a man who just watched a midget riding a gimp?”
― Jaye Wells, Green-Eyed Demon

“Where'd you send her?"
"Siberia. Lovely this time of year. A bit remote, I'm afraid. Might take her weeks to find a town and even longer to arrange transportation back to the States."

My lips quirked. I didn't feel like laughing, but the image of my half-millenium-old grandmother trudging through snow was kind of funny. "You're sick, you know that?"

"What can I day? I thought a cold-hearted bitch like her would feel at home in the tundra.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“You know what you need?" Giguhl said. I raised a brow, bracing myself for a punch line. "A to-do list. Might help you keep track of all the beings who want you dead and the satanic birdlife you've kidnapped."

I imagined a list in my head:

1. Perform voodoo ritual on evil owl.
2. Find out who sold us out to the anachronistic Caste vampires.
3. Make amends with a lesbian werewolf.
4. Rescue twin.
5. Murder grandmother.
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. "Yeah, I'll get right on that."

Gighul heard the sarcasm. "Suit yourself, but don't come crying to me if you forget who you're supposed to kill when.”
― Jaye Wells, Green-Eyed Demon

“Why is it forked?”
― Jaye Wells, The Mage in Black

“He scrambled to grab a hose and pointed it at us. A pathetic stream of water trickled out.
What are you going to do? Giguhl said. Moisten us?”
― Jaye Wells, The Mage in Black

“Hey, controlling a zombie horde is hard work. I'd punch a nun for a cheeseburger right about now.”
― Jaye Wells, Blue-Blooded Vamp

“Why did everyone send casseroles in times of crisis? Why didn't anyone ever send brownies and Jack Daniel's?”
― Jaye Wells, Dirty Magic

“Must not kill the demon cat. Must not kill the demon cat.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild