Haircut Quotes

“My hair had grown out long and shaggy—not in that sexy-young-rock-star kind of way but in that time-to-take-Rover-to-the-groomer kind of way.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“I’ve seen knives pierce the chest,
Children dying in the road
Crawling things hooked and baited,
Rapists bound and then castrated,
Villains singed in public square.
Yet none these sights did make me cringe
Like when my Love cut all her hair.”
― Roman Payne

“Sure. What's the worst that could happen."
Twenty minutes later, we had our answer. "I can't frecking believe this."
I cringed. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm bald!" Giguhl continued. "I look like a freak."
"It's not that bad," I said. But it was. Oh, my lord was it bad. I'd never seen an uglier cat in my entire life.”
― Jaye Wells, Red-Headed Stepchild

“You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Oh you cut your hair! What happened? Are you going through a breakup or something?"

"My favorite character died.”
― Joyce Rachelle

“You get a tattoo like this and a ’do like this, and wear a shirt where the tattoo shows, and you walk into a room of people and feel the animosity, the disapproval, the how-dare-you. You can feel it coming off them like heat off a stove. And the thing I want to ask them is, how have I deserved this, what have I done that so offends you? I have not asked you to cut your hair this way. I have not asked you what you thought of it, or to approve it. So why do you feel this way towards me? If you can’t get past my 'too—my tattoo—and my 'do—the way I got my hair cut—it’s only because you have decided there are certain things that can be done with hair and certain things that cannot be done with hair. And certain of them are right and proper and decent, and the rest indicate a warped, degenerate nature; therefore I am warped and degenerate. 'Cause I got my hair cut a different way, man? You gonna really live your life like that? What’s wrong with you?”
― Harry Crews, Getting Naked with Harry Crews: Interviews

“Another theory about hair, not from my mother, but from the best friend. A woman who cuts her hair drastically is set to make some decisions.”
― Weike Wang, Chemistry

“In a way the philosopher and the barber are of the same guild; the barber cuts hair and the philosopher splits hairs.”
― José Ortega y Gasset, Man and People (Norton Library

“Growth of human hair is the absolute blessing for a barber”
― Munia Khan

“Every barber thinks everybody needs a haircut.”
― M.F. Moonzajer

“We didn't have time to get you an actual haircut," she said. "Seriously, did you do it yourself? Maybe without a mirror?"
I put a hand up to my head self-consciously and said, "I had some help from the General. And, hey, I didn't say anything about your man-shoes."
"They're steel-toed," she said calmly. "In case I need to plant them in anyone's ass as a result of him calling them man-shoes. And seriously, you let Toot help you with your hair?”
― Jim Butcher, Skin Game

“The difference between a child and an adult getting their haircut is that the child will cry during it. The adult will wait till afterwards.”
― Nitya Prakash

“Sometimes the best pizza is sushi. That’s where I go to get my haircut. Discounts available for fish with fur.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“My mother has a theory about hair. It is that the longer the hair grows, the dumber a person becomes. She warns that too much hair will suck nutrients away from the head and leave it empty.”
― Weike Wang, Chemistry

“Nothing shouts out “Celebrity!” as loudly as being a biker in desperate need of a shave, a haircut and clean clothes.”
― Foster Kinn, Freedom's Rush II: More Tales from the Biker and the Beast

“I just don't get it. You've been in love with this bloke since you were a kid, and he's never once got his hair cut short enough that it doesn't poke him in the damn eye.”
― Kristina Adams, What Happens in New York

“Even a simple haircut or facial shave is in my opinion an expression of uniformity to following a certain trend or portraying a certain image.”
― Mango Wodzak, 2020 Vision

“A March haircut foretells April weather.”
― Mantaranjot Mangat, Plotless

“Do you trust your barber enough to close your eyes during a haircut?”
― Sarvesh Jain

“Sometimes the best pizza is sushi. That’s where I go to get my haircut. Discounts available for fish with fur. (Ducks are birds that swim, and are therefore not pizza.)”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“What if she gave herself bangs? She could give herself bangs. She went over to her desk to look for scissors, then remembered that Janelle had taken her scissors two weeks before because Stevie had said something out loud about maybe giving herself bangs.”
― Maureen Johnson, Nine Liars

“Christian looked at him earnestly. “Does it look OK?” The cut had been impulsive, which wasn’t something Christian was, really. But Eddie stopped fussing and looked like he was raging some internal battle. “Chrissy, you’re killing me here. I’ll say this only once, so listen clearly. You’re beautiful. Not in a ‘Christina Aguilera power song’ kind of way, but in a male model, hot boy fantasy kind of way. Now, don’t ask me again, or I’ll make a fool of myself.”
― Micaela Vee, Find Me

“She struts into the hair salon, her mouth filled with a rotten egg of gossip, unshelled, filled with decay. As soon as she sits down she bites into the shell, and the stink of her lies fills the air, its goo dripping down her chin. With her new haircut she exits, leaving behind the putrid evidence that she’s as corrupt as the egg of lies she spread.”
― Brenda Sutton Rose

“She came down to my dorm that night, knocking on the door around nine o'clock. Martha was at the library, and I was eating graham crackers and reading 'Glamour'. She didn't wait for me to open the door but turned the knob herself and stepped inside. Seeing her in the threshold was both surprising and perfectly natural - since I'd left her classroom, my head had been pretty much continuously buzzing with pieces of my conversation, and her presence felt merely like the physical manifestation of what I'd already been imagining.
"I'm not onterrupting, am I?" she said.
I stopped chewing. "No."
"Here's what I want." I could feel the energy coming off her body - she'd had an idea, she'd decided something, she'd walked briskly through the cold air across campus - and how it contrasted with my own inertia, my bad posture, the crumbs dusting the front of my shirt. I sat up straighter.
"I want you to cut my hair, " she said. "I'll give you a grade for it. And that's how you can make up the paper. Whatever grade I give you for the haircut replaces the F".
I looked at her and felt suddenly, extremely tired. "How's that for a deal?" she said.”
― Curtis Sittenfeld, Prep

“She came down to my dorm that night, knocking on the door around nine o'clock. Martha was at the library, and I was eating graham crackers and reading 'Glamour'. She didn't wait for me to open the door but turned the knob herself and stepped inside. Seeing her in the threshold was both surprising and perfectly natural - since I'd left her classroom, my head had been pretty much continuously buzzing with pieces of my conversation, and her presence felt merely like the physical manifestation of what I'd already been imagining.
"I'm not interrupting, am I?" she said.
I stopped chewing. "No."
"Here's what I want." I could feel the energy coming off her body - she'd had an idea, she'd decided something, she'd walked briskly through the cold air across campus - and how it contrasted with my own inertia, my bad posture, the crumbs dusting the front of my shirt. I sat up straighter.
"I want you to cut my hair, " she said. "I'll give you a grade for it. And that's how you can make up the paper. Whatever grade I give you for the haircut replaces the F".
I looked at her and felt suddenly, extremely tired. "How's that for a deal?" she said.”
― Curtis Sittenfeld, Prep

“It is a departure from nature for a vulture to venture into haircut adventure.”
― Vincent Okay Nwachukwu, Weighty 'n' Worthy African Proverbs - Volume 1

“Sweetie – look, I get it. I’ve read those books too. You have Stockholm Syndrome. He’s an asshole and you refuse to leave him. We can fix that mindset of yours though, first by giving you a haircut. That’s how all girls find their identities again after a really bad relationship. Haven’t you seen the movies? You’re not doomed, just a little frumpy.”
― Ian Kirkpatrick, Dead End Drive

“Listen shorty. You've never experienced the miracle of the kind of haircut that is so good it parts the clouds and makes the angels sing. You're in for a treat today.”
― Lucy Score

“As another year went by
And a new year came to greet us
I got up in the morning to take my class
And in the afternoon, while sauntering down the road
I saw a hairdresser's saloon inviting me in
And so I met the hairdresser
A fine young lad, and I told him to get my hair and beard trimmed if he may please
But for some reason I decided to keep the moustache without any trims
Life makes us poets,
with a love for poetry.”
― Avijeet Das

“Should I get bangs?" ― Hamlet”
― Katya Zamolodchikova, Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood