Pizza Quotes

“That's because Tod never brings anything but death and bad advice," I snapped.
"That's not true." Tod tried to grin, "Sometimes I bring pizza.”
― Rachel Vincent, If I Die

“My love is pizza shaped. Won’t you have a slice? It’s circular, so there’s enough to go around.
”
― Dora J. Arod, Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

“Now, leave."
All three boys slumped forward. Percy fell face-first into his pizza.
"Percy!" Annabeth grabbed him.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“But magic is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's pretty good.”
― Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

“Sorry to hear about your Dad."
He shrugged. "He was seventy, and we always told him fast food would kill him."
"Heart attack?"
"He was hit by a Pizza Express truck.”
― J.A. Konrath, Whiskey Sour

“There's very little in my world that a foot massage and a thin-crust, everything-on-it pizza won't set right.”
― G.A. McKevett

“You called me and said you were home and wanted to go out for a pizza."
"I did? What time is it?"
"Time for pizza," [Catarina] replied.”
― Cassandra Clare, The Fall of the Hotel Dumort

“Really?" [Catarina] said when he opened the door. " Two years and then you come back and don't even call for two weeks? And then it's 'Come over, I need you'? You didn't even tell me you were home, Magnus."
"I'm home", he said, giving what he considered to be his most winning smile. The smiling took a bit of effort, but hopefully it looked genuine.
"Don't even try that face with me. I am not one of your conquests, Magnus. I am your friend. We are supposed to get pizza, not do the nasty."
"The nasty? But I-"
"Don't." She held up a warning finger. "I mean it. I almost didn't come. But you sounded so pathetic on the phone I had to.”
― Cassandra Clare, The Fall of the Hotel Dumort

“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger

“Oscar inspected the gun. He seemed about as enthusiastic about learning to use a new weapon as Adrian was.
'Come on,' said Adrian, raising his gun again. 'I'll buy you a pizza if you hit a bull's-eye before I do.'
Ten seconds later, he owed Oscar a pizza.
Adrian groaned.”
― Marissa Meyer, Archenemies

“Christmas was definitely the best thing ever, even better than pizza. But instead of all her favorite toppings, Amitola was surrounded by all her favorite people.”
― Aishabella Sheikh, Jungle Princess

“I am learning that it is important to stop sometimes, and just have a drink and a gossip with friends, even as corpses start to pile up around you. Which they have been doing a lot recently.

It's a balancing act, of course, but, by and large, the corpses will still be there in the morning, and you mustn't let it spoil your Domino's.”
― Richard Osman, The Man Who Died Twice

“Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let's go!”
― Aubrey Plaza

“The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza store... and says, "Can you make me one with everything?”
― Santosh Kalwar, Gags and Extracts

“Sometimes the best pizza is sushi. That’s where I go to get my haircut. Discounts available for fish with fur.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“How many minutes of my life have I wasted staring at the microwave waiting for my plate to get hot while my food stays refrigerated? To save time, and add potentially years to my life, I've decided that I do like cold pizza. I learned that from my ducks, as they LOVE cold pizza.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“I used to work at a pizza place. Instead of giving me a raise, my boss threw me a pizza party. He made me make all the food.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“The pizza at Brick Oven tastes like that classic line from that famous murder mystery movie “Rambo,” where Nicholas Cage rips off his tuxedo and says, “I may be a lot of things, but I ain’t no bowl of duck soup, sloshing around in a hurricane." Rambo II is even more romantic.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Sometimes the best pizza is sushi. That’s where I go to get my haircut. Discounts available for fish with fur. (Ducks are birds that swim, and are therefore not pizza.)”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Watches and clocks are round, like the product Brick Oven serves with five-star flavor, because it's always pizza time. But I'm always split over what to order, because I make their wings disappear like I'm Amelia Earhart.”
― Jarod Kintz, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

“Pizza as a reward at work, gotta love it. Personally, I'd rather have that than a raise. Give me a pizza, boss, and let me know you truly value the work I do.”
― Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

“He said he had one of the worst pizzas in Chicago, and he wanted me to guess where it was from. I said, "New York?”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

“Lying on the ground, the instrument looks like a Venn diagram for toppings that belong on a pizza versus pineapple, two big separate circles. He lifts the whole thing up, minding the ceiling, sticks his head through the pineapple portion, and straightens the pizza portion to be a little flatter to the front.”
― Patrick R.F. Blakley, Drummond: Learning to find himself in the music

“Cola and pizza was my first daytime meal after a week of extreme night shifts, followed by explosive diarrhea!”
― Steven Magee

“Pizza is complicated.”
― Yousef Alqamoussi, Hadha Baladuna: Arab American Narratives of Boundary and Belonging

“Whilst the content of two university accommodations is looking around angry, confused or just tired we simply enjoy ourselves on the grass sipping gin with ice tea and eating pizza.”
― Ryan Gelpke, Nietzsche’s Birthday Party: A Short Story Collection

“There's fucking pineapple on that," he growled. "Who the hell thinks cooking fruit is a good-”
― Caroline Peckham, Kings of Lockdown

“I found a really good Brussel sprouts recipe on Instagram. It's really good. It's easy. Take the Brussel sprouts, cut them in half, put them on a baking sheet, put olive oil, salt and pepper on them. Put 'em in the oven. 450° for about 15 minutes and you take them out and you throw them in the trash and then order a pizza. It's so good. It's so easy. Just follow instructions.”
― Tim Hawkins

“There is Not Enough Fruit & Vegetables - to Balance of Nature and Offset my Vodka and Pizza Consumption”
― Kevin Kolenda

“Cassie speared one of the fried balls and placed it on her plate, along with a scoop of the dark brown paste. They looked simple enough, like any bar food. When she cut it open, though, it erupted with steam, gooey Gruyère cheese, and shredded duck meat. She cut it into quarters, rationed out the fig butter for each piece, and took a bite. Salty and crunchy, the meat sweet and savory--- and Ben was right. That fig butter--- the creative addition of fat and sweet jammy fruit, punctuated with large crystals of crunchy sea salt--- made the dish sing.
"It's the holy trinity of sugar, fat, and salt," Ben said, and took a drink of champagne.
The pizza arrived just as the group polished off the last croquette, filling the air with wafts of nutty truffles.
"Some say that truffles taste like the forest floor, but some say they taste like the human body," said Kelly, as she stabbed an egg yolk, releasing a thick yellow goo all over the pizza. She pulled a piece onto her plate.
"Oh yeah, I wrote a story on this," said Ben. "Feet, body odor... sex. Truffles have a particular form of stink that attracts people in an animalistic way--- it's what explains why people will pay so much money for even the slightest hint of truffle."
Cassie pulled a slice of truffle from the pie and put it on her tongue. Certainly nutty, cool, crunchy... but sex? She didn't get it. She shrugged and took another bite.”
― Emily Arden Wells, Eat Post Like