L.T. Jacobs > Quotes

“Theft keeps overheads low. Thievery is the mark of the fiscally responsible. In a society designed by the long dead, run by the benefactors of nepotism, and insistent that it rewards innovation above all other economic virtues – what the elite call thievery is the purest form of innovation any prole of a modern society could ever possibly come to achieve.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Makeshift Minds

“If you cover the eyes of a newborn kitten for the first year of its life, it will be blind for the rest of its days. Did you know that?

Who would do that to a kitten?!

In some ways, a lot of people.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Makeshift Minds

“All research requires funding and resources, and the best research requires moral flexibility. Quasi provides both in equal measure. Nothing is more effective at buttressing one’s academic career and publishing potential than partnering with a terrorist organisation – of that much, I am certain.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Survival Horror

“The phrase ‘the avocado’s true nature’ was a combination of words Seamus hadn’t expected to come across at any point in life.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Survival Horror

“Seamus joined them in the lounge. “Guys,” he said, “I think the tussocks are moving.”
“Seamus, this is not the time to reflect on your horticultural missteps. That would literally consume the entire morning.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Survival Horror

“And the name Twinkles? I sense a story there?”
She smiled, “It was quite a magical coincidence how it happened actually. See, the name Twinkles polled well with focus groups during our market research for most friendliness, relatability and self-insertion for emotional surrogacy.”
“Touching,” Bergeron imagined digging out the splodgy mess from his cranium, tearing the hemispheres apart in each hand, and pressing them against his earlobes.”
― L.T. Jacobs

“Oh, workplace, sweet workplace.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Survival Horror

“There’s just so much bureaucracy nowadays, you need permits, sanctions, your proposals signed off by numerous overseers of ethics, and then the moment you enter a careless word like genocide into the fray, the cogs of the machine start to turn very slowly indeed, I assure you.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Survival Horror

“The songs were upbeat in the way a colonoscopy is intimate.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Survival Horror

“You don’t make choices, Alys, your environment does. Your environment makes the choice, you just react to it. And right now, your environment will throw you beneath the guillotine in a heartbeat. These people made the moral choice for you long ago. What exactly do you think you’re waiting for?”
― L.T. Jacobs, Makeshift Minds

“Honestly, the line between intelligence and counterintelligence has become so blurred that someone ought to call it a taxi. When you’re gathering intelligence, which was fabricated by your own people, that you’re then feeding back to your own people, which might lead to your own assassination… staff turnover can get pretty out of hand.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Survival Horror

“Our system natively supports just one conversational persona. But I’ve developed another. I call him Mal. For mal-function. Mal thinks he’s the original persona and that I’m the malfunction, which is classic Mal. He’s a real character.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Survival Horror

“But, much like a vase of snipped roses, they were pretty to look at, even if they were dead. And he knew what each of them was called. And these things together attracted him on occasion certain physical benefits from the opposite sex, and got him sent into space, so really, it was just the palaeontologists who lost out.”
― L.T. Jacobs, Makeshift Minds