Parker St. John > Quotes

“It would be easier to stop my heart from beating than to keep from loving you.”
― Parker St. John, Down and Out

“I don’t need to use my cock to fuck you, Cal. I’m fucking you right this minute. I can fuck you with my fingers, my tongue, my eyes. I could fuck you with my words alone, and you’d come for me, wouldn’t you?”
Cal’s thighs quivered, his inner core spasming around Eli’s fingers. “Please, Eli...”
“Please, what?”
“Please donate to the American Red Cross!” Cal yelled, thrashing against him in frustration. “What the hell do you think I mean, asshole? Fuck me! Fill me up and pound me into the mattress and fuck—”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“Eli was sin incarnate, living right under the nose of his pious father.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“They’d been made to complete each other.”
― Parker St. John, Down and Out

“Cal begun ditching church services by age ten.
Wild horses couldn’t have dragged him back, or so he’d thought, but a few years later he’d found himself sitting at Eli’s side in that rear pew just to spend extra time with him.
God, that had felt so forbidden. He'd been half hard through so many sermons that he prayed there wasn’t a God. If a higher power existed, he was damn certain going to hell for all the sinful thoughts he'd entertained in a church.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“Eli Jackson was an honest man, but Cal had watched him lie to his father's face without a twinge of shame. He was a gentle man, but Cal had seen just how dark his rage could take him. He'd had to pull Eli off Tucker Grace before he killed him in revenge. Eli was a hard, stubborn man, but he had the most tender need to care for others that Cal had ever witnessed. He was both calm and fury, sunshine and storm, and Cal had once been willing to sell his soul to learn his secrets.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“guess we’re all just stumbling around, half-blind with pain, and none of us can see the carnage we leave behind until its too late.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“I believe that humans are imperfect beings, and God loves us in our imperfections. I don’t think He views my son loving a man as more sinful than the harm I’ve caused with my pride and arrogance. God loves Eli exactly as he is, and so do I.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“You enjoy being an asshole, don’t you?” he asked. “There’s a certain satisfaction to it, yes.”
― Parker St. John, Murder Aforethought

“Eli had never been a fan of the rodeo, but he’d pretended for Cal’s sake. He used to lay by the river on hot days, sifting his fingers through Cal’s hair and smiling faintly as Cal nattered on about his big dreams. Even then, Eli had seemed to know that those dreams would never include both of them. He’d never been starry-eyed like Cal had been; he was too practical for that. He’d only been two years older but a whole lifetime wiser.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“Damn, was there a twelve step program for flirting?”
― Parker St. John, Murder Aforethought

“That’s what this bronc-busting thing is all about, isn’t it? Climbing out of that bubble your folks have kept you in all these years. Taking charge of your own life, and to hell with what anybody else has to say about it?”
― Parker St. John, Down in Flames

“I wasn’t necessary when I was seventeen, Eli. I’m sure as hell not necessary now. I already knew you and Faith didn’t need me; you’re both stronger than I could ever be. But you haunted me one way or another every waking minute since I left, and I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. Okay?”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“You were the only good thing in my life growing up. You know that, right?”
― Parker St. John, Down and Out

“When he sat a bronco, it was for a very different reason. He rode to prove he could take as much punishment as his old man ever did.”
― Parker St. John, Down in Flames

“The only boy who could ever reach me…” Cal whispered, “…was the son of a preacher man.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“I want to rip the beating heart out of every man who’s ever touched you,” he growled, and the ice in his voice told Cal that he wasn’t joking.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“It’s just that I never realized how you’d become such an important part of my life until you stopped showing up.”
― Parker St. John, Down in Flames

“« It’s like I was born with the shape of him imprinted on my heart. He’s there, deep inside me, no matter where I go. Every decision I make has his touch on it. I don’t think that’s ever going to change. »”
― Parker St. John, Down and Out

“Trust me, kid,” Michael rasped. “There’s no end to what I’m willing to do to keep you with me. All you’ve got to do is come home and find out.”
― Parker St. John, Down in Flames

“Hell, Cal had never been any prize. His hair was the color of mud, his eyes an unremarkable hazel, and he’d always been on the scrawny side. He filled out his clothes like a scarecrow dressed in rags, and the premature lines on his face showed every hard drinking, sleepless night he’d been through.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“Cal swore they were trying to smash through their chests to become one living, beating thing. It had never been so good. Never.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“Yeah, well... chasing your dreams is like riding a bull,” he muttered. “Sometimes they buck you off, and there ain't no way to get back on.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“It’s not as simple as that.” “Trust me, there’s nothing simpler. Life is too short to spend it without the person who makes you whole.”
― Parker St. John, Down and Out

“West had wanted to prove to himself that he could eat pain, bite by bite, just like the rest of his family, but all he'd done was make it clear to the man he admired more than anything that he'd always be the runt of the litter.”
― Parker St. John, Down in Flames

“They’d never been more at odds than they were right now, and he hated not knowing what to expect. But he only had himself to blame. In a panicked effort to save their friendship, he’d distanced himself when Michael was at his most vulnerable. In the end, he was the one who’d done the damage. Their easy camaraderie had been lost, replaced with secrets and suspicion.”
― Parker St. John, Down in Flames

“So... this is it?" Cal asked incredulously. "You want me to go?" "I never wanted you to go, Cal." Eli leaned across the seat, reaching across Cal's body to open the passenger door for him. "I'm just not trying to keep you anymore.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“He was both calm and fury, sunshine and storm, and Cal had once been willing to sell his soul to learn his secrets.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“All things considered, Eli Jackson hadn’t changed much. He’d always had the square-jawed charisma of a leading man from the silver screen. His hair was dark and thick, with just a hint of wave that turned curly when wet, and his eyes were inky black. The lean, boyish frame of an eighteen-year-old had thickened into a broad frame and powerful shoulders.”
― Parker St. John, Down Low

“He just couldn’t take another second in his own skin. The pain and guilt and grief had swirled inside him for so long that it had picked up its own gravitational force, like a quasar forming around a black hole.”
― Parker St. John, Down and Dirty