Jennifer L. Hart > Quotes

“Look" I narrowed my eyes at Mr. Gorgeous. "I'm kind of in the middle of a nervous breakdown and after that I plan on having a very festive pity party, table for one, so unless you are here to put me out of my misery I suggest you scurry on your way.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Who Needs a Hero?

“There’s nothing worse than seeing the craziness in a calm person as they ask for something completely ridiculous and then to have them look at you as if you’re a shovel shy of a tool shed.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Skeletons in the Closet

“Why is it that I so often feel like the craziest person in the room? I guess I usually am, but it’s definitely a frustrating feeling.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Skeletons in the Closet

“This town was a carbgasm looking for a place to happen and my ass was volunteering as the venue.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, All Washed Up

“I should probably get started collecting the cats that would one day eat my face when I died, bitter and alone.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Murder al Dente

“I do not overreact!” That was a flat out lie. I make time in my day to overreact. Overreacting keeps my head from exploding.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Skeletons in the Closet

“A woman is more than what she means to a man. She is a creator, whether bearing life or enhancing the joy we find within it. She makes life worth living for those around her.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Midlife Bed and Broomstick

“It’s my brain. It makes me think of all the things that could go wrong and it’s like, once it starts it goes on and on and on and I am scrambling to find a solution. But even if I find one, the thing hasn’t happened yet. Might never happen. But then all these other things could happen and I get lost in all the possibilities”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Witch Way or the Highway

“Because people in power want to control us in any way they can.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Midlife Healing and Hijinx

“the”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Skeletons in the Closet

“If I won the lottery I’d still shop at Wal-Mart, because I’m Uncle Scrooge, and three dollars is three dollars. God bless America.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Skeletons in the Closet

“Deep down, I knew that. But when you trained yourself to think one way for your whole life, there's no way to just hit the emergency brake and stop the runaway train in its tracks.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Murder al Dente

“This was part of what MS did. It turned a woman who wanted nothing more than to be friendly and outgoing into an unreliable last-minute canceller. I’d learned the hard way that making plans led to constant disappointment.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Midlife Bed and Broomstick

“Five minutes, Ms. Buckland." Mimi, Chef Zoltan Farnsworth's assistant, poked her head into the closet I'd been given to use as a dressing room.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Murder al Dente

“I grabbed the remote and tried to remember the channel number for Discovery. Or was that one of the add-ons for our streaming service? Goddamn, when had watching television become so freaking complicated?”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Midlife Magic and Malarkey

“I was happier keeping my relationship with the Almighty between myself and God, no outsourcing required.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Murder al Dente

“My chronic illness always had the final say in what I could or couldn’t do. I just hated it.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Midlife Hexes and Familiar Exes

“Here’s the thing about gorgeous people. You can easily separate them into two categories. First, there are the nice ones, who will mingle with us mere mortals without condescension. They’re the types who are beautiful inside and out like a double-layer chocolate cake. Then, there are the attractive people who believe their looks set them apart from the rest of us. I call them the cow pies because the golden brown exterior doesn’t make up for the fact that they’re filled with their own…. ”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Skeletons in the Closet

“Our time to die is as unique as the life we leave behind.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Witch Way After Forty

“The loner who was that way, not by choice but because she’d overheard some other moms whispering that she wasn’t worth asking since she never showed.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Midlife Hexes and Familiar Exes

“This was gonna go over like a fart in church.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Stellar Timing

“Besides, vodka, if done well, didn’t taste like anything. I sometimes used it in ice cream to thicken the soft serve. ”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Kitchen Witch Wedding

“I like to think I’m an optimist at heart, but when one is forced to trundle about the house, desperate for someone to talk to, one goes a little nutty.  ”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Skeletons in the Closet

“But it was like Grammy B always said. Bitches get things done.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, The Fae Side of Forty

“Instead, he leaned on an old military tactic—when in doubt, state the obvious. “She doesn’t like me.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Stellar Timing

“You know men have always feared witches. Our history is long and bloody. There are places in this world. where people are still put to death for even being suspected of being witches to this very day. It’s not about what you can or can’t do, B. It’s about what he can handle.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Kitchen Witch Wedding

“She'd slit her wrists and bled out in the bathtub." I refused to close my eyes because the image, that horrific image lurked there like a monster, ready to drag me back into the darkness. Sometimes days, even weeks, would pass, and I would go about my life and not think about it. But the cold feeling never fully abandoned me.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Murder al Dente

“People aren’t born old or disabled. We get here because life beats on us and beats on us like we are all pinatas and the vindictive bitch is trying to get the candy out.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Midlife Shift and Shenanigans

“Even I wouldn’t persecute a man for the notions churning through his mind so long as he extends me the same courtesy. Thoughts I can forgive, as we are unable to control them. Words are different, just like actions, and those he can control.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Stellar Timing

“You live here and you know how crammed full every room is. My mother and Bella call it the Sander’s legacy. I call it the fifth circle of hell. When I lived here, I had to fight to hold a thought from the time I woke up in the morning until I fell into a fitful sleep. I ended up losing myself in projects I never finished or spacing out. Too much stuff leads to me being even more easily distracted. It’s like I’m standing in a field and there are dozens of fires all around me and I can’t decide which I should put out first. So, I had to learn how much I could deal with.”
― Jennifer L. Hart, Midlife Magic Mirror