Graham Roumieu > Quotes

“It me birthday and nobody came...Bigfoot decide do something nice for self for big day and sneak in they house at night and pick out own present and blow out flickering candle of life in they brains. Make a wish, jerks.

”
― Graham Roumieu

“How many times I have explain? I pee over there, over there and over there. Technically make it Bigfoot territory.”
― Graham Roumieu

“Ok. Listen. I not know where all you morons come from but holy water no hurt Bigfoot. Garlic and Crucifix also no. Fire, Pitchfork, Silver Bullet OK. Cryptonite do nothing. It not even real. Please stop sending letters asking "What you vulnerability? What Bigfoot?" Like I tell. What next me bank account number? Why not you invest time in moving out of parent basement? Maybe have sex or something. Yes I be talking to you Steve. Youuu! Stalking is a crime Steve.”
― Graham Roumieu, In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot

“Q: Bigfoot, when my Guinea pig wake up? Parents say he sleeping in box in ground in bakc garden.
Suzie, Ag 9, Toronto, Canada

A: Actually Suzie Guinea pig dead and Bigfoot already dig up and eat. If want back Bigfoot probably poop out bones and fur ni day or so. Very delicious, raise him right, he taste like love.”
― Graham Roumieu, Bigfoot: I Not Dead

“I am not Chewbacca. Me think Chewbacca jerk. He no can act. He ride Bigfoot coat tails. he think he cool, but he not. He phoney loser with no class. He all messed up on crack me think. People think me Chewbacca sometimes. No! Me have job. Bad wookie. Bad.”
― Graham Roumieu, In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot

“That bastard crazy.”
― Graham Roumieu, Bigfoot: I Not Dead

“It true, Bigfoot career been in hole lately. Bigfoot mania of the ‘70’s and ‘80’s but distant memory. I famous for ability to not be see but don’t think I not notice you not notice. I blame music television and internet. People too lazy and stupid to appreciate conceptual artist like Bigfoot who appeal is absence.”
― Graham Roumieu, Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir

“Find hard to talk to stranger. Terrible at chit-chat. Think people look at me funny then I start panic think have to be clever all of time. They not understand I artist, not entertainer! Magic of Bigfoot what happen when people not looking.”
― Graham Roumieu, Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir

“Yes, everyone know Bigfoot smell like shit. Please make effort not to point out every time you see Bigfoot. Thank you.”
― Graham Roumieu, Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir