Ted Mallory > Quotes

“Remember that political parties are tools, and don’t let yourselves turn into party tools.”
― Ted Mallory, Prophet, Priest, & Pirate

“Get it right people!
Tuna casserole takes cream of mushroom soup.
Tuna SALAD takes mayo or Miracle Whip.

And while we're at it,
tuna salad has celery,
NOT peas.
If you HAVE to use peas,
use a bag of frozen peas.
Canned peas are for tuna casserole,
not tuna salad.”
― Ted Mallory, Max Nix: Poems

“Always be careful, as they say, “Text without context is usually pretext.” In other words, people like to try to use the Bible to get you to agree with them instead of helping you understand what a given section of Scripture meant to its original audience at the time. I gotta think St. John would back me up on that.”
― Ted Mallory, Dear John; Ploughboy Postcards

“How can we ensure that these dead would not have died in vain?

And how can we make sure that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?

I don’t know about you, but personally, I think it's by being devoted to the same cause to which they gave their last full measure of devotion- by being dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”
― Ted Mallory, Prophet, Priest, & Pirate

“You don't think
I'll be arrested
if I wear my brain
on the
OUTSIDE
of my head?”
― Ted Mallory, Max Nix: Poems

“Like a ravenous dog
a lumbering, slobbering Mastiff or St. Bernard,
sloping up raw hamburger and eggs from its dish
on the floor in the corner of the family kitchen
licking and slurping and lapping
wanting more, always more

Some greasy Hemingway
Some grainy Steinbeck

Savory salad with lots of garlic,
that's Vonnegut”
― Ted Mallory, Max Nix: Poems

“1 John 3:16-18 tells us that our purpose is to be like Jesus, servants sacrificing for others. Not in order to get into Heaven, not to save ourselves. And not because we SHOULD or OUGHT TO since Jesus has saved us and we get to go to Heaven, but because that's our predicate, that's what God created us for, to be like His Son Jesus. Loving, forgiving, healing, feeding, clothing, comforting, helping, teaching, humbly doing what He does in His ministry of reconciliation.”
― Ted Mallory, Dear John; Ploughboy Postcards

“Pardon me
if I wear my brain
on the
OUTSIDE
of my head

It's just so sunny out,
but not too sunny,
not so sunny that it should get burnt,
just sunny enough to
take in some Vitamin D,
and to warm up
and not feel quite so clammy
or boxed-up”
― Ted Mallory, Max Nix: Poems

“A great exercise is to read 1 Corinthians 13 and substitute the word "Love" for "God," or "Jesus." If you do that, you'll get a great idea of who God is and what John meant when he said that "God IS love." Likewise, if you try reading it substituting your own name for the word "Love," your conscience will probably make you feel pretty embarrassed or even ashamed because of how unlike God and unloving you can be. I know mine did.”
― Ted Mallory, Dear John; Ploughboy Postcards

“The problem with the chosen, is that like the good brother who stayed home in the story of the prodigal, we become resentful. Christians want (desire) to understand a simple, clean, black and white universe. And (like adolescents) insist on our understanding of justice. In short, we desire to be in control. In essence, Christians want to be God.”
― Ted Mallory, Prophet, Priest, & Pirate