Annely Alexander > Quotes

“causes our stomachs to produce more acid; and combined with not eating enough, or eating too fast, or too much (paradoxically) we start suffering from indigestion. Problems such as stomach ulcers, IBS, vomiting, constipation, diarrhea and the like are not caused just by stress. However, it certainly can make them worse!”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“It's not a 'divine soul-connection' when you cannot stop thinking about someone, when you feel a desperate need to be with them, otherwise you will never have enough. That's not divine: it's a wound!!”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“If they are narcissists, they got into their ugly state out of their own fault. And it does not change the fact that they cause harm, that in fact they are some of the more dangerous and unpredictable of abusers. You have to protect yourself. You need to live in a safe place. Then, you also need to break the invisible chains inside you - the trauma bonds. That may take longer.”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“Our muscles tighten when we are suffering stress. People in a state of trauma suffer all of these physical effects so often over time that their bodies almost mold themselves into bent, tightened positions. Shoulders and neck bend over, hands clench, muscles around our lungs pull tight; even our swallowing can become difficult.”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“the victim has to decide to want to be awakened.”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“The truth may hurt, but it always heals.”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“It makes victims question their judgment endlessly, or avoid making judgments out of fear of being wrong!”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“If you are a victim of an abuser, you are being controlled by that abuser. In an intimate relationship with, probably, a sexual side to it, the abuser will try to tell you that you are in love with him or her - that you are weak (at the knees) for him or her - for no other reason than to get power over you. That power will be wielded by means of a little bit of pleasure - and a lot of pain.”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“You are being accustomed to going without 'love' for periods of time, because in his entitlement-obsessed, selfish, greedy inner person, you have to merit his little gifts. You have to balance the ball on your nose, longer and longer, before he will throw you a tiny sardine!”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“an effort to isolate the victim from other relationships. Limiting contact with friends or family is a way to remove not only sympathy for the victim, not only moral support, not only a way to hide the abuser's bad treatment, but it is a way to keep him or her confused.”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies

“That is the way we form, change and keep our beliefs and opinions. We share them. We agree with people. Or we agree to disagree. Narcissists know this and fear it; they strive to keep their victims on their own, living "inside their own heads".”
― Annely Alexander, Trauma Bonding: How to Stop Feeling Stuck, Overcome Heartache, Anxiety and PTSD - Includes Q&A and Case Studies