Sam Pink > Quotes

“My ideal date would involve painful silence. My ideal date wouldn't involve me.”
― Sam Pink, I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

“And I saw my reflection in a lake and I waited for it to freeze a little bit so I could break it with my boot.”
― Sam Pink, I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

“And I lie down on your carpet so long that you think I will stay forever but I get up and I see the indentation in the carpet and I get jealous and say, "I am no longer needed here.”
― Sam Pink, I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

“And I realize that there is nothing to worry about without first wanting to be alive a certain way.
That is somewhat relaxing to think.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“If I ever find a dead horse, I am going to beat the fucking shit out of it.”
― Sam Pink, I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

“I walk down the hallway and go into my room and call it a day and it calls me something else.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“My history is the history of things imagined and not-happened.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“And I know different methods of self-destruction but none as intense as sitting still by myself.”
― Sam Pink, I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

“from the poem Holographic Personality Disgrace:

Some people are such assholes that saying, "Look, again, I'm sorry I cut off my thumb and glued it to your baby's head because I thought you'd like him better as a unicorn" means nothing to them.”
― Sam Pink

“My brother said something, but I’d been distracted by a nice flower in someone’s back yard.
Wanted to pick it for my girlfriend.
Then I realized she might be sad I killed it.
Seemed like something she’d get sad about.
Maybe not.
I could just say, “Here, I killed this for you.”
As in, “Of course I would kill something for you.”
As in, “Everything is potentially your gift.”
― Sam Pink, Rontel

“i am proud of my ability to be mean to myself, so i feel like i am not interested in protecting myself and maybe that’s a friendly quality because i don’t want to be a liar to people. i think the phrase “i am not important, so be nice” all the time.
- from "Sam Pink Is the Dictator – An Interview with Sam Pink”
― Sam Pink

“My roommate knocks on my door and I try not to move.
My heart is beating fast.
He knocks again and then leaves.
I win.
This is but one of the many victories I have exampled as a human among humans.
I have no equals.
My strength is unmatched.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“I don't know if I should judge myself based on what I can accept or what I can't accept but I do know that I always dislike where I am and then look back on where I was with sadness because it is gone.
(That's means I am worthless and it's my fault.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“It seems I keep track of opportunities I will never have more than focusing on ones I do have and could have.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“Not quite a piece of shit myself, but the streak for sure. For sure the area the shit passes over and leaves behind parts of itself.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“There should be a word for what happens when you begin to ruin a feeling by saying it.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“I realize every specific thing I worry about is nothing compared to the main worry I have which never has an object.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“Sometimes I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment but it’s never after accomplishing something.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“Three days ago, I was fired from my job teaching at a college because one of my students
bet me that you don’t cum when you get a prostate exam and it took me seven minutes
to prove that dumb fucking kid wrong. It was hard to touch my own prostate, but
ultimately, I was correct. I came onto the floor and onto the person in the desk up front.
I said, “Kids, that is what is known as ‘empirical evidence’.”
― Sam Pink, Dragons With Cancer

“from the poem: MANNEQUINS THAT SWEAT BLACK INK AND NEVER HAVE ANY FUN

If you put a twizzler in your ear it looks like your ear is vomiting blood.”
― Sam Pink

“We drive away.
I don't know what time it is at all, like even within an hour.
And I'm thinking a thought that is something like, "Be thankful for what's left of you.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“I entertain the idea that if my present life is the punishment for a former life, then I would never want to meet myself as the self of this former life.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“You aren't sure whether you have feelings or not but that's all part of the shrug you have performed in slow motion for your entire life so far.”
― Sam Pink, You Hear Ambulance Sounds And Think They Are For You

“If I ever find a dead horse, I'm going to beat the fucking shit out of it.”
― Sam Pink, I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

“And I can see either accepting everything that happens, or accepting none, but in between I lose hope.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“And I realized that part of my problem was I visibly resembled an adult. But never became one.”
― Sam Pink, Rontel

“Life like two broken hands trying to pick flowers for someone you really like.”
― Sam Pink, Your Glass Head against the Brick Parade of Now Whats

“You have never approved of yourself so you bother other people to do it.”
― Sam Pink, You Hear Ambulance Sounds And Think They Are For You

“I imagine a man coming out of an alley and stabbing me a number of times until I die. Face-down, mouth-open in the snow. What would that change about me. Would I love it. Would I think that the stabbing was painful and that I didn’t like it. Does it actually hurt or is it great. I see my killer being given a wreath and a box of candy by the mayor of Chicago at some kind of ceremony (a ceremony for killing me, you see). And people are cheering for him. I see myself stab-holed and crawling out of an alley to join the periphery of the celebration. Then I hold one hand over the stab wounds and with the other hand I give the thumbs-up sign to my killer as he accepts the wreath from the mayor. I pass more people who are out walking. I’m on Ashland Avenue. A lot of times when I encounter someone else out walking or running past me, it feels like we should be more united than we end up acting. We’re both outside at the same time together. Why doesn’t that mean anything to anyone. Goddamn. No, I don’t think I actually care about that. I thought I cared about it just now.”
― Sam Pink, Person

“My roommate sits on the couch doing something on his laptop computer and I look at a half-filled coffee cup on the livingroom floor while I balance on one leg, left boot going on. Staring at the halffilled coffee cup keeps me from falling. Thank you for being there for me, halffilled coffee cup. I appreciate you, you silly fuck.”
― Sam Pink, Person