Kimberly Lemming > Quotes

“I had only two things on my mind; cheese and how to get home.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Every scratch," he whispered, his tone gentle and comforting. "Every bruise, I will pay back in fire and blood."
I blinked. "Um...that is so sweet but so unnecessary.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Oh, the troubles I go through for my wife.” A thrill went up my spine at his words. “Am I really? We don’t need to have a ceremony or register with the church?” “Darling, we burned down the church.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“I do not know if my tits were built for murder. I don’t even think they were built with my back in mind.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“You don’t remember?” Fallon put his arms behind his head and settled back down. “Last night, you demanded we bring you cheese and then stated that you were the cheese queen.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Hold on,” he said, pointing to the bottle. “Did you just pull an entire bottle of liquor out of your skirt?” “Yes.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“I can be your villain.” He whispered. “Why don’t you let me take away the burden of choice for a while?”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Cin, I can barely breathe when you are not near. If anything were to happen to you, if you left me to be alone again, these memories of you would kill me.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“You…can talk.” She began slowly. “And…and not just basic words either. Like rational spoken words?” “I tend to save my mindless screaming for Tuesdays.” He replied coolly.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“A fucking demon attacked me last night, and the day had the audacity to shine as if nothing happened? Rude.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“I could die from this. They’ll have to write “fucked into oblivion” on my tombstone. But glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Potatoes are by far the most versatile crop. You can fry them up, bake them, or throw them at undesirable men who refuse to leave you alone.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“You leave my father out of this; you don’t know what he’s been through!” Without missing a beat, Usha opened the window and shouted, “Coke! He’s been through a lot of coke!”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“If you need me, don’t.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“My love, I’d sooner kill everyone on this ship to save you the embarrassment.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Who wouldn’t want to go off on a grand adventure with a bunch of hot heroes also chosen by the goddess?” Me bitches. No, thank you.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Oh my god, chip my steal, you’re so annoying.” Alexis snapped. “Maybe if you fixed your attitude and took a bath once in a while, women would talk to you. You smell like old cheese and a mother’s regret.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“My friend rested a hand on her cheek, before a slow crooked grin spread across her face. “He blew your back out, didn’t he?”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Ma swore, pointing her wooden spatula like a blade. “Chili! I mean, Cumin! I mean Cinnamon! Dammit, the middle child! Stop badgering the girl child!” Pa”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“My wife is a human. With big brown eyes, adorable dimples and a laugh that makes everything right with the world. And if anything happens to her, I will make you live through horrors so vile your grandchildren will weep!”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk And Saved a Human

“I tried to find the right words, but instead just fluttered my arm around like my thoughts would arrange themselves better through interpretive jazz hands.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“Somewhere deep in my soul, the moral compass guiding me through life shriveled up and died.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk And Saved a Human

“YOU TRIED TO MILK A T. REX?
"For science!”
― Kimberly Lemming, I Got Abducted by Aliens and Now I'm Trapped in a Rom-Com

“Oh. Bandit rapists. How cliche. I couldn’t even pretend to be surprised. Every adventure book I’ve ever read had at least one scene where the hero dashingly defeats a group of bandits to save the honor of a fair maiden. Only I wasn’t traveling with a hero. No. I was the lucky sucker saddled with a villain.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Help me" the thing called again, sounding an awful lot like none of my business”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

“I mean, not what I would say to the man who just beat your friend with your other friend like he was a ragdoll. But live your best life, I guess.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Who needs him? Or any man! Love was for people with not enough wine in their hands!”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon

“Who puts plates in the lower cabinets instead of the pots and pans? Heathens, that’s who.”
― Kimberly Lemming, What's A Girl Gotta Do To Get On The Naughty List?

“I was exhausted, frustrated, and egregiously horny on an alien planet with no way home. Even then, if I wasn’t taken to help some alien race with my species-saving coochie, I’d have fucking died in that lion attack.”
― Kimberly Lemming, I Got Abducted by Aliens and Now I'm Trapped in a Rom-Com

“Intruders will catch these flames.”
― Kimberly Lemming, That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon