Joe Harrison > Quotes

“Sorry,” Napoleon says, “I don’t know if I should be trying to keep you talking or not. Every movie I’ve seen where the guy’s bleeding out, his buddy’s trying to keep him awake until backup arrives and that’s pretty much the extent of my understanding of these situations.”
― Joe Harrison, The Unpaid Internship

“Why don’t you ask Cindy to reimburse you?” Skylar asks. “Surely, she doesn’t expect you to pay for her dry cleaning. Is that even legal if you’re an unpaid intern?”
“Trust me, she doesn’t care,” Napoleon says. “Besides, I’m not sure I want to rock the boat with her right now. I have a feeling she’s finally about to give me my first writing assignment.”
“You could always ask your parents for money,” Burger suggests.
They all laugh.”
― Joe Harrison, The Unpaid Internship

“Among the more degrading of his daily tasks is the watering of Cindy’s bonsai tree. Her fake bonsai tree. He assumed that she’d been joking when she had first instructed him in its care. But when no laughter followed the tutorial, he decided to just play along, believing that, if nothing else, it would show he was a team player. It hadn’t worked.”
― Joe Harrison, The Unpaid Internship

“The truth is that her entire job consisted of caring for others. And while she enjoyed her work for the most part, occasionally, it did get to be a bit too much. The disease, the despair, the demands of both patients and families alike. So to keep herself sane, now and then, she’d inconvenience someone. Never on anything life or death, of course. And never other staff; shitting where she ate held absolutely no appeal to her whatsoever. However, from time to time, she’d been known to drop hints about perfectly functioning elevators being out of order and the cafeteria being closed several hours before it was. Just fun, quirky things.”
― Joe Harrison, The Unpaid Internship

“Why don’t you ask Cindy to reimburse you?” Skylar asks. “Surely, she doesn’t expect you to pay for her dry cleaning. Is that even legal if you’re an un- paid intern?”
“Trust me, she doesn’t care,” Napoleon says. “Be- sides, I’m not sure I want to rock the boat with her
THE UNPAID INTERNSHIP 37
right now. I have a feeling she’s finally about to give me my first writing assignment.”
“You could always ask your parents for money,” Burger suggests.
They all laugh.”
― Joe Harrison, The Unpaid Internship

“Chicken fingers are a messed-up dish because chickens don’t have fingers. You’re eating a chicken and mocking it for a lack of appendages.”
― Joe Harrison, Fan-Girl

“I’m also into thrifting, I’ve met all my ex-girlfriends outside rehab centers.”
― Joe Harrison, Fan-Girl

“They say behind every great man is a good woman. What they leave out is that she’s back there pegging him.”
― Joe Harrison, Fan-Girl

“I just want to be where I’m not, is that too much to ask? No, I don’t really need a whole lot, just everything you have. They ask me, Why can’t you just find peace with what you’ve got? I say, please don’t make me laugh. Because even that half-empty glass, it never seems to last.”
― Joe Harrison, Fan-Girl