Margaret Guenther > Quotes

“Lighten up" (don't) turn prayer into a work but listen for God and let oneself be surprised. Overly rigid adherence to a spiritual direction built around formal liturgical adherence and highly structured prayer time can work against the sanctification of the ordinary. Christ is effectively imprisoned, to be visited at stated times and otherwise ignored".”
― Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction

“It was a happy day when I discovered that in the English of Chaucer's day - which was also the time of the Black Death - the word "silly" meant "blessed." I am not sure when we strayed away from its original meaning, when blessedness took on a churchy aura and silliness became the realm of Monty Python and fourth-grade eschatological humor. As hard-working adults we too often lose the gift for letting go, for delight in simply being. We persuade ourselves that every moment must be lived productively; like the busy little bee, we feel a holy obligation to improve each shining hour. We would do well to take very small children or big silly dogs as our teachers. I have learned much about holy uselessness form Perry, the dog...”
― Margaret Guenther, At Home in the World: A Rule of Life for the Rest of Us

“Often what we call “play” is competitive or compulsive, because the aesthetic dimension of true play, its holy uselessness, goes against our grain.”
― Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction

“It is a necessary part of a rule of life to cherish our bodies, care for them, and see the beauty in their intricate design. But too often, most of us - men and women both - come to dislike them as the years pass, or at the very least to feel that they need major remodeling... We fight to stave off aging or at least to disguise it. Yet in his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul reminds us of the sanctity of the body (1 Cor. 6:19-20)...”
― Margaret Guenther, At Home in the World: A Rule of Life for the Rest of Us

“Dear God, help me pay attention! Dear God, help me keep my mouth shut! Dear God, let me put myself out of the way! Dear God, let me be wholly present to this person, your child!”
― Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction

“Since we are always changing and - I hope - growing, a rule does not need to be perfect or complete. Remember it is a provisional document, neither a constricting garment we can outgrow nor a rulebook to be consulted anxiously before every move. Rather, I prefer to treat my rule of life as I treat my grocery list. I organize it meticulously, separating dairy from produce, and baked goods from cleaning products. If I am feeling especially fussy, I organize the menu according to the layout of the supermarket: fruit and vegetables along the near wall, meat and poultry in the middle, dairy along the far wall.

Then I go off to shop and leave the list on the kitchen counter. I already know what's in it.”
― Margaret Guenther, At Home in the World: A Rule of Life for the Rest of Us

“So many of us have found that it is quite helpful - essential to our well-being, in fact - to craft and actually write down a rule of life. The purpose of this rule is to keep us clear and attentive, to enable us to live contemplatively in the midst of activity. The temptation, of course, is to to be overambitious and to set ourselves impossible goals - and then to fail. I think of this as the "first week of Lent syndrome": what begins a bracing change of pace and priorities turns into a real drag after about two weeks. There is also the danger that the structure will become an end in itself so that our spirituality becomes joyless, life-denying, and self-centered. Particularly in regard to "spiritual disciplines," less is frequently more. A good rule can set us free to be our true and best selves.”
― Margaret Guenther, At Home in the World: A Rule of Life for the Rest of Us

“We are hungry, and we don’t know for what. We want something, but we can’t name it. The parish is taking good care of us, nourishing us with word and sacrament, just as the hospital made sure that Mrs. G was fed, nursed, and medicated. But we want something else, something more: we want to be touched, we want to be known as children of God.”
― Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction

“[My students} ... presented me with thoughtful and candid papers. They had examined their use of time and energy, reflected carefully on their relationship with those whose lives touched theirs (including the difficult and incompatible ones), scrutinied their performance as custodians of God's creation. All in all, it was exemplary work except for one thing: these were grim, dreary schedules that allowed no place for fun. No room for holy uselessness or the joyous and restorative wasting of time, a spiritual discipline that bears absolutely no resemblance to guilt-producing procrastination or avoidance of whatever the next step might be. If they were able to live out the plan that they laid out for themselves, they would be exemplary citizens, conscientious prayer-ers, and ecologically beyond reproach. but they would never have any fun.”
― Margaret Guenther, At Home in the World: A Rule of Life for the Rest of Us

“While I haven’t yet reached this state of detachment, I have spent too long with the day-to-day realities of mothering to be sentimental about it. If I am now perceived as a motherly person, I would prefer to be seen as desert amma rather than a Hallmark mommy. Most important, for good or ill, I know that my own experience in mother colors the way in which I do spiritual direction. And lest it sound as if I am excluding a large segment of the population, Meister Eckhart reminds us that we can all be mothers. While the experience of bearing nurturing a child is unique, maternal ways of being are available to all of us, men and women.”
― Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction

“the words from Aelred: “Here we are, you and I, and I hope a third, Christ, is in our midst.”
― Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction

“The New Testament is not very helpful about family values. Jesus, unmarried at an age when most Jewish men were husbands and fathers, exhibits a cavalier attitude toward families as he gathers his followers around him. Think about the call of the disciples from their wives' point of view: Jesus meets Peter and Andrew, James and John, as they are tending their nets. he says, "Follow me," and immediately they abandon their livelihood without a second thought. They abandon their families as well: did they ever go home to tell their wives that they would not be there for dinner? Did they make any provision for their families? When, in my imagination, I translate this story into the present time, were I the wife of Peter, Andrew, James, or John, I would be furious. "You did what? What about the health plan? Your pension? College for the children? Are you planning on coming back sometime? How am I going to manage? Who will look after the children if I have to get a job?" ... Jesus might have been an effective healer, but he also certainly knew how to disrupt a household.”
― Margaret Guenther, At Home in the World: A Rule of Life for the Rest of Us

“The spiritual director has the double task of holding up the demands of absolute responsibility and the promise of absolute forgiveness.”
― Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction