Andrea Speed > Quotes

“This was how the world ended. Not with a bang, but with a whimper.”
― Andrea Speed, Bloodlines

“I'm always going to be with you, you know. As long as you remember me, I will exist. Memory is a form of existence, life after death.”
― Andrea Speed, Bloodlines

“I got over shy a really long time ago. I'm queer, I'm feline, get used to it.”
― Andrea Speed, Bloodlines

“I’m Scottish. My idea of foreplay is “roll over, Margaret.”
― Andrea Speed, Prey

“...let me say, on behalf of the entire gay male community, we hate your fucking guts ’cause you landed him. Share, you selfish bastard.”
― Andrea Speed, Prey

“Roan looked down at the pathetic little fur ball with a pink ribbon clipped to the top of its head and growled at it. It came from deep in his throat, and while it was unintentional, it wasn’t precisely a human noise. He could feel it in his throat, vibrating his vocal chords, and the dog’s ears rotated briefly in as much alarm as a dog could express, and then it whimpered and cringed, pissing on the sidewalk in submission.
The woman took a couple steps backward, eyes wide and horrified, and dragged her dog past them as she hurried off, the Pom more than happy to leave.
Paris looked at him, an eyebrow raised and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a half smile. “I love it when you get defensive.”
“I’m the king of the jungle.I’m not taking any shit from a living dust mop.”
― Andrea Speed, Prey

“A spa?"
"Yeah, Avalon Spa, you know the place near the mall?"
"Oh, right. What do you do there?"
Again, the nervous glance at the floor, and the small flush of color rising up his neck. "I'm a masseur. Which I know sounds phony as hell, but I'm licensed and everything. Also, my clients are women- the only men at Avalon are the ones on staff. And while I've got nothing against women at all- I'd have no friends in high school if it weren't for women- I find them as sexually attractive as roadkill possum."
Roan had to swallow back a laugh. "Don't tell them that."
"Oh, God no! I'd never get any tips then.”
― Andrea Speed, Bloodlines

“When was the last time you were with a man? In the Biblical sense."
"I thought the Bible frowned on that."
That made him chuckle. "You're talking to a preacher's son here. The Bible frowns on many things, and yet seems good on slavery and selling your daughters, so I'm thinking it's schizophrenic at best.”
― Andrea Speed, Lesser Evils

“There’s bigots in every race, creed, and orientation. Idiocy is universal.”
― Andrea Speed, Shift

“Roan tried not to stare, but the guard’s head was almost perfectly egg shaped. He wanted to ask him if he’d ever had a hen sit on him by mistake.”
― Andrea Speed, Shift

“You can't isolate yourself, because that's the worst thing you can do. There's no healing if there's no movement, and isolation is the same as standing still.”
― Andrea Speed, Life After Death

“They were probably the best-matched pair of weird fucks that life had ever coughed”
― Andrea Speed, Prey

“Have you had unprotected gay sex?"

This time he got a snort and a laugh. "I ain‘t no butt pirate."

Roan felt the urge to say, " Arr matey, prepare to be boarded," but somehow managed to repress it.”
― Andrea Speed, Bloodlines

“I'm not going to lie to you and say it gets easier, because it doesn't. It's just that you get used to it. The human animal has an amazing capacity to get used to almost anything.”
― Andrea Speed, Life After Death

“It’s an expensive place. The cheapest salad is twenty-five dollars.”

“I hope that comes with extra croutons and a hand job.”
― Andrea Speed, Lesser Evils

“Cold case or not, the case was technically still open, never closed. These files should have been totally off limits to him. Gabe was risking his job by giving him this. “Wow, I had no idea you’d give me the keys to the kingdom. Thank you.”

“If you can find anything new about this case, I will kiss you in front of the squad room. On the lips. Hell, find something actionable and I just may give you a hand job.”

“Not a blow job?”

“Don’t push it.”
― Andrea Speed

“There’s nothing to give away. I get so exhausted being what people want me to be that when I’m on my own, I enjoy being nothing to no one. You have no idea how tiring it is always being someone else.”
― Andrea Speed, Lesser Evils

“Roan looked at Paris and wondered where they would go from here and if there would be any light at the end of the tunnel before it collapsed on top of them. Too bad there was really no such thing as a happy ending.”
― Andrea Speed, Prey

“He liked people who knew weird things, just because it seemed to hint at some odd inner life.”
― Andrea Speed, Prey

“Humanity was awful; humanity made you hurt. Humanity was a weakness that would kill everyone, one way or another.”
― Andrea Speed, Life After Death

“Sometimes loving someone just sucked.”
― Andrea Speed, Freefall

“God, he was so beautiful. It was the tragic kind of beauty too, the kind you knew was doomed from the start. A face that launched a thousand ships and dug a million graves.”
― Andrea Speed, Shift

“That was the problem with caring. It left you vulnerable, open on one side to the most hideous pain imaginable, and the only antidote was to stop giving a shit, but how did you do that? How did you turn it all off?”
― Andrea Speed, Shift

“[H]e could feel his unshakable enemy, depression, blooming in him like a pernicious flower that could never quite be ripped out.”
― Andrea Speed, Freefall

“Roan rubbed his eyes, restraining the urge to ask if "light domination" meant he liked having his dates order for him in restaurants.”
― Andrea Speed, Life After Death

“I’m the king of the jungle. I’m not taking any shit from a living dust mop.”
― Andrea Speed, Prey

“MRI machines sucked. They really, honestly sucked. You lay motionless inside a cramped metal tube that made you feel like a torpedo waiting for launch, and weird noises went off around you as you fought off claustrophobia you’d never had before for an hour that seemed to last approximately one thousand years.”
― Andrea Speed, Freefall

“I don't know how breeder marriages ever work, since the wife never seems to understand.”
― Andrea Speed, Life After Death

“up. The fact that they managed to find each other was probably a minor miracle. They’d have to enjoy it while it lasted.”
― Andrea Speed, Prey

“Everyone needs to believe in something, even if it is totally bugfuck nuts.”
― Andrea Speed, Freefall