Jon Douglas > Quotes

“It has been said that a stoic is someone who says “fuck you” to fate. So I kept going, not because I wanted to, trust me. All of me wanted to stop. I kept going because I deserve to know what not giving up on myself felt like. Some may call this living out of spite. I’m running out of tears to cry. Maybe something is changing me. If I could wave my magic wand, I’d make everything all right, but I’m not one to believe in magic. I have no idea what’s awaiting me or others who are suffering. I have no clue what will happen with time. But for the moment I know this; there are sick people and they need curing.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“I experienced a deep depression, grappling with panic attacks and the onset of agoraphobia. In this phase of my condition, an indelible aspect was how my dearly held home of three years assumed a profoundly eerie character whenever my morale hit its lowest. The diminishing evening light, once a herald of autumn's charm, now enveloped me in a stifling darkness. It puzzled me how a place so filled with recollections of laughter, capability, and sighs could suddenly feel so unwelcoming and ominous. Though I wasn't alone in a physical sense, the isolation was palpable.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“The primary pathology induced by SARS-CoV-2 revolves around an “immunological misfiring” — a dysregulation of immune cells. Essentially, the pandemic manifests as a cellular ailment. Viruses remain inactive without cells; it is our cells that have activated this scourge, giving it life. To decode the critical aspects of the pandemic, it becomes imperative to examine not only the peculiarities of the virus but also the biology of immune cells and their anomalies. Everything traces back to cells. The cell, as a fundamental unit of life and physiological processes, also serves as the focal point of disease.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“People with Long COVID show signs of ongoing immune system activity, even when there's no current infection. Their immune responses, particularly through the complement system, continue to act up, causing inflammation and problems with blood clotting. They also produce autoantibodies through their B cells, which mistakenly target their own body tissues. Their T cells behave unusually, seeming ready to move to areas of inflammation, as if the body thinks it's still fighting an invader. Moreover, some T cells might tire out, worn down by the long battle in defending the body.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“It is caused by a single pathogen that infects our cells, reproduces at our expense, and cascades a predictable array of symptoms. This causal agent can be identified, isolated, and studied. With luck, it can be removed, ending our affliction for good. Typical symptoms of this condition cover a wide range, including fatigue, shortness of breath, cognitive difficulties, heart palpitations, and over 200 others that impact numerous major organ systems, profoundly influencing daily life and general wellness. These symptoms often vary in intensity and can reappear over time.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“The pain is constant, and the unbearable aspect of this condition lies in the knowledge that relief is not forthcoming — not in a day, an hour, a month, or even a minute. Any slight alleviation is understood to be fleeting; more suffering is inevitable. It is not just the pain but the utter lack of hope that devastates the spirit. Thus, the choices we make in our daily lives are not about transitioning from a minor nuisance to a lesser one, or from discomfort to relative ease, or from boredom to engagement, but rather navigating from one episode of pain to another.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“A single pathogen that has an ability to dupe cells into believing that it is not pathogenic has brought humanity to a new level of humility, challenging our preconceived notions. However, with the advent of innovative tools and technologies, we are now able to delve deeper, uncovering aspects of these conditions that were previously invisible.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“The virus leaves behind tiny pieces of itself after the body breaks it down. These pieces, similar to fragments of the virus’s outer shell, can clump together into structures that trick the body into thinking there’s a bigger threat. This triggers an intense immune response, like sounding a massive alarm over a few leftover virus bits, which can contribute to severe inflammation and symptoms seen in serious COVID-19 cases. It's like the virus has a ghostly afterlife, continuing to affect the body even after the majority of it has been destroyed. In the battle against the virus, our body initiates a defense mechanism that, while protective, also causes inflammation in critical areas, particularly where our stem cells are nurtured including the bone marrow, gut, and brain. For instance, the mitochondria in our blood cells—often referred to as the cellular powerhouses responsible for energy production — are compromised. Their functionality is impaired; they either push themselves too hard or don’t work as efficiently as they should, leading to a notable decrease in the body's energy levels. This energy deficit is more than just feeling tired; it's a systemic issue affecting the body's ability to fight off the virus effectively. The T cells, which are supposed to eliminate any remaining virus, find themselves restrained rendering their arsenal less effective and their capacity to multiply weakened. Despite these limitations, they release copious amounts of interferon-gamma (IFN-γ), a signaling molecule that rallies the body's defenses to fight vigorously. This intense response may play a role in the virus's stubborn persistence and ongoing immune response. Meanwhile, the B cells are on overdrive, producing an excessive amount of antibodies in this heightened state of alert. This heightened immune response complicates the path to recovery, posing challenges for individuals striving to reclaim their sense of health and wellness.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“A perplexing aspect of Long COVID is that numerous sufferers undergo a plethora of medical tests, which typically return results that are either 'within normal limits' or unusually abnormal, eluding easy explanation. On the surface, everything might look ostensibly normal, or biomarkers may display only slight variations. This diagnostic uncertainty leaves us grappling with a fragmented understanding of the condition, akin to a scene from "The Simpsons" where Mr. Burns is diagnosed with the fictional Three-Stooges Syndrome, humorously illustrating the dilemma of too many symptoms trying to manifest simultaneously, much like the Stooges attempting to pass through a door at the same time.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“Even if my body from the outside resembles the old me, it has my soul hiding its true flame. I have been able to push myself to work from my desk most days, but I am never symptom-free, and I can see how this confuses people. This paradox is part of what makes treating this invisible illness, so damn complex. I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul

“Pain, it seems, travels through families, lurking in the shadows until someone is ready to confront it. Our familial legacy often includes a habit of avoidance, with generations acting as if the pain never existed. Yet, pain insists on being acknowledged. Eventually, a child is born with the innate capacity to fully experience this pain. These individuals are the healers of our world — the shamans, priests, and priestesses. Often misunderstood, they are labeled as mental health patients, their profound sensitivity misinterpreted as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder. However, these are the ones endowed with the rare ability to truly feel. And as we've come to understand, healing begins only when we bravely face the pain we've tried to ignore all these years.”
― Jon Douglas, In It for the Long Haul