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“Perhaps because I run in straight circles.”
Maura Stone
“I’m giving up my US citizenship. After 5 yrs, as an illegal I’ll be allowed all the benefits and privileges denied me as an American citizen. Plus I may be deported from NY to Florida!!”
Maura Stone
“She said, “I’ll always support you in all your bad decisions.”

In appreciation, I retorted, “As long as someone supports me in my bad decisions, then I'll feel good about making them.”
Maura Stone
“The determination to kill us is stronger than our will to live.”
Maura Stone
“My mother said that I used an elephant gun to swat a fly. I said, "But it keeps the rest of the flies away.”
Maura Stone
“Found out that 200 years ago, some practical joker changed the Arabic word for raisin to virgin.”
Maura Stone
“Can't wait to see my parents! They died 20 years ago, but the DNC has the power to raise the dead.”
Maura Stone
“In 1979, I worked at Philip Morris, with my last position in their Records Management Dept. My boss, Larry Cafaro, held a meeting with a black manager. That was the first time I ever heard anyone say: "Let's call a spade a spade." And get away with it.”
Maura Stone
“Talk about chemical attraction - when he comes near me, I get gas!”
Maura Stone
“A two sentence horror story: A man approached me and said he was my son. I never had any children.”
Maura Stone
“Writing a cookbook for millennials: Common Core Cookbook. It doesn’t matter measuring ingredients or cooking time. Or that the food is inedible. It’s the thought that counts.”
Maura Stone

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