Richard Kadrey > Quotes

“Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.”
― Richard Kadrey, Aloha from Hell

“Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“It doesn't matter if you and everyone else in the room are thinking it. You don't say the words. Words are weapons. They blast big bloody holes in the world. And words are bricks. Say something out loud and it starts turning solid. Say it loud enough and it becomes a wall you can't get through.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“All losers are romantics. It's what keeps us from blowing our brains out.”
― Richard Kadrey, Butcher Bird

“We must always look after our friends, even when they are foolish. Especially when they are foolish.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence.
Or insanity.”
― Richard Kadrey, Butcher Bird

“As sweet as it feels, I can't lie here forever curled up in a big ball of fuck-the-world.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“When you're facing down multiple attackers, you always want to make the first move. It lets them know that you're ready to fight and that you're crazy enough to get the party started. One rule of thumb in fighting is that crazy can often overcome skill and numbers, because, while a trained fighter might actually enjoy going up against another trained fighter, no one really wants to wrestle with crazy. Crazy doesn't know when it's winning. And crazy doesn't know when to stop. If you can't pull off crazy, if, for instance, you're handcuffed in a small van with six armed assailants, stupid is a decent substitute for crazy.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“No hospitals, she says.
I know.
Where are we going?
For ice cream. What's your favorite flavor?
Fuck you.
That's my favorite, too.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“Revenge is never what you think it's going to be. There's no pleasure and glory, and when it's done your grief remains. Once a man does the things you're talking about, he will never be the same, and he can never go back to who he was before. Worst of all, no matter how many enemies you kill, you are never satisfied. There is always one more who deserves it. When it becomes too easy to kill, it never ends.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“In the Tarot deck, the Fool is depicted as a young man about to step off a cliff into empty air. Most people assume that the Fool will fall. But we don't see it happen, and a Fool doesn't know that he's subject to the laws of gravity. Against all odds, he just might float.”
― Richard Kadrey

“I came ready to fight Genghis Khan and I walk in on a shut-in playing the biggest Dungeons and Dragons game in history.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“No wonder Sherlock Holmes did all that coke. Math is hard.”
― Richard Kadrey

“This is where you first failed us. You gave us minds and told us not to think. You gave us curiosity and put a booby-trapped tree right in front of us. You gave us sex and told us not to do it. You played three-card monte with our souls from day one, and when we couldn't find the queen, you sent us to Hell to be tortured for eternity. That was your great plan for humanity? All you gave us here was daisies and fairy tales and you acted like that was enough. How were we supposed to resist evil when you didn't even tell us about it?”
― Richard Kadrey, Aloha from Hell

“He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see.”
― Richard Kadrey, Butcher Bird

“If I learned anything Downtown, it's this: the only real difference between an enemy and a friend is the day of the week.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“*For eleven years, I've been worked over and abused in ways you can't imagine by things you don't want to know about. I've killed every kind of vile, black-souled, dead-eyed nightmare that ever made you piss your pjs and cry for mommy in the middle of the night. I kill monsters and, if I wanted, I could say a word and burn you to powder from the inside out. I can tear any human you ever met to rages with my bare hands. Give me one good reason why I could possibly need you?
*She looks straight at me, not blinking. No fear in her eyes.
*Because you might be the Tasmanian Devil and the Angel of Death all rolled into one, but you don't even know how to get a phone.
*I hate to admit it, but she has a point.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“The universe is a meat grinder and we're just pork in designer shoes, keeping busy so we can pretend we're not all headed for the sausage factory. Maybe I've been hallucinating this whole time and there is no Heaven and Hell. Instead of having to choose between God and the devil, maybe our only real choice comes down to link or patty?”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“The ashes of your existence will fertilize the soil for the universe to follow.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“Besides Getting my ass kicked, my main accomplishment on this trip has been to massacre an incredible number of completely innocent clothes. I'm the Joseph Stalin of laundry.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“I tap a Malediction out of the box, fire it up, and puff. It tastes like a tire fire in a candy factory next door to a strip club. The best cigarettes ever.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“There’s the opposite of love at first sight. There are people walking the earth that the moment you meet them, you want to punch them and keep punching them.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“I'm trying very hard not to think about anything I'm doing. Of all the iffy things I've ever done in my life, I've never had to ditch a body before. While it's giving me a migraine right now, I think the fact that I'm not an expert on corpse disposal says a lot of good things about me and my life choices.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim